If you just realize
What I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other..

It's her masterful melody
When she calls out my name to me
"Jon!" I'm walking out of a cafe and toward campus when she spots me. I turn around to face Britney, and she gives me this look that makes me feel.. As though I matter. You know the look. The one that neither screams, nor shouts. A look akin to a soft whisper, a look full of zeal and a look that turns my stomach when I realize I have only one night left to appreciate it.

As the world spins around her,
She laughs, rolls her eyes, and I feel like I'm falling but it's no surprise

"Where are you headin,�" she inquires after the salutations. I tell her I just finished eating, and she pouts her bottom lip and looks away, toward the cafe. "Looks like everyone just finished.."
"Yup, we're all avoiding you,"� I say with a smile. She rolls her eyes, grins, and takes a step toward the cafe. "Yeah.. Right.. I'll see you in class."�

"I don't want you to go," I tell her when we're halfway home after our final. It's somewhere around 9:30 PM and we're walking together for the last time. She's heading home to Houston in a few days, and from there she is moving to Spain.
"I know that it's selfish, but I don't want you to go. I meant what I told you a few weeks back. You.. You are hands down the most intelligent person that I have met in college. You're kind, and smart, and beautiful and I'm going to miss you. And I understand that you want to do this, and you've been planning it since before we even met, but I don't want you to go.�"

I turned to her and she looked down. "I'm going to miss you, Britney, but I understand why you have to go. It's your passion-- you're following your dream. I wish I could do the same.

"What is your dream? Your passion??

I confess that my dream is to be a writer, not necessarily a lawyer. She tells me I should follow that aspiration-- but that's another entry for another night.We soon realize that we're home and stop walking.

She gives me that look again and I place one arm across the arch of her back, and the other right above it.. And hold her. She wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me back. A year must have gone by while she was in my arms because I can remember the moment so vividly yet it feels as though it happened long ago. I take a step back, say goodbye, and turn to walk away.

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Rumors going round and Baby, I guess its true.
Everybody knows it here but you
I love you girl, but you still ain't got a clue.

"You're nice, and smart, but..." I choke.

Choke worse than the San Diego Chargers in the playoffs. Choked worse than my beloved Mavericks did last year. "But...," Britany asks as we trek the trail from our night class back to the dormitory. It's somewhere around 10 PM, and we ended up having a lengthy conversation about men and women, which led to talk about sex, which led to talk about love. I confessed to her that I have only truly loved one woman for almost half of my 19 years on this planet and in return, she confided in me that she her book of love was not all that well versed( like mine,) when the above conversation took place.

"But... You're nice. And smart, and.." DON'T CHOKE, I yell in my head, "beautiful, Britany.. And it's rare when all three traits are in the same person... You're something special." It was then that I turned to face her and saw that she was blushing. We talked some more and, for a change of pace, she ended up walking me to my dorm building. I told 'er bye, collapsed on my bed, and took a week to actually write something.

More updates coming.. Soon.

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