Saturday. 7.7.07 11:03 am
7 years of frustration then hit her ears with abrasion
As I laced her with my tale of lust, tears and anticipation
Her reaction was a face of fakeness;
Told me she was flattered, but within a tone lacking any amazement
8th grade.. That's when we met. Or, that's when I first saw you.. I doubt you ever noticed me much.
I noticed you.
I had no idea that she knew who I was. I remember seeing her every now and then and taking solace in the fact that she defied the same stereotype that I did; our affinity for literature seemed juxtaposed to the tone of our skin. I caught a lot of shit ( <<<
a legal term I picked up at the pre law institute.) in school from my football teammates because I always carried a book with me.
I'd read before and after practice
I read before and after games
I read before and after lifting weights.
I even read during band, between songs. Now that I think about it, it wasn't so much a stereotype of African Americans as it was a stereotype of teenagers in general. Anyway...
She asked me to go skating last month.
I declined. (I knew there were no skates big enough for my freakazoid size 15 feet)
And things were up in the air between us senior year. She liked me, and I knew, but when she wanted to take that leap between good friends who went out to being an actual couple, I backed away. Partially because I liked someone else (who turned out to be a bipolar girl who was cold one day, loving the next.) and partially because I was scared.
I didn't flat out reject her or nothing I just didn't say yes. She got the message and was indifferent toward me throughout the rest of our senior year.
I called her week or so after graduation to tell her that I wanted her in my life. I confessed, rather easily, that there were a handful of people that I wanted to keep in touch with from our class(Five.) and I did not want my apprehension to end us. That eased the tension between us a bit.. And we hung out a few times over the summer, and once when I came back home for Christmas. So, it's summer time, and she calls me up and asked if I wanted to go skating. Ice skating. Which wasn't really my thing..
Our first ( and only ) date was at Barnes and Nobles ; we sat on the floor and read books.
(Just call me Casanova.) So the ice skating thing.. I dunno. I got to thinking about her last week and said to myself, 'Self that isn't such a bad idea,' so I called her up and asked her to go skating when I get back.
She said yes. I told her I was a little scared, but she reassured me.
Once you fall the first time, it gets easier and easier because you're not scared anymore.
Kind of like love.
Yeah..
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Going to sleep in the library
Thursday. 7.5.07 12:29 pm
Anh kept me up til 2:30 AM(I wanted to stay up with her, though..)
Thus, I am too sleepy to finish the entry I was writing.
I got another c-- A KJRFAKN REKANRDAMNIT
I got one more class, then a stupid guest speaker, so I'll be trapped at school for another.. four hours :( Then I'm gonna' go grab some food, and tak ea nap. Hopefully when I wake up I can finish that entry.
IT WAS GOOD, TOO.
About Skating. And um.. yeah.
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