I never understand how people have a good time destroying other people's stuff. Is there any real entertainment value in it? Does it really make people feel better, or cooler, or more powerful?

Someone slashed my tire. It was in plain sight on the street in front of my building and someone thought it was a good idea, for whatever reason to cut it. Why? Is it because they don't have to deal with it if they destroy someone else's stuff? I had to pay $100-ish for a new tire. I could seriously use that cash for other useful things. Now I'm without and stuck worrying about money again.

It seems like crime in my area has risen exponentially. In the last 3-wks to a month, there has been vandalism in my parking lot (on my boyfriends car), a forced entry nearby(where they held down the owner, tied them up, and took stuff), and now this. I live behind an elementary school. Is elementary school a crook magnet? I feel like I can't leave my car anywhere, now, where it won't get bothered. I don't even have an expensive car.

I hope it's not one of those cases where the kids are 13 year old punks who are trying to get back at 'the man.' That kind of ignorance bugs me. Y'know, kind of like kids I grew up with who would shop at Hot Topic, buy $40 pants and $25 shirts with holes and safety pins, and then would parade the streets ranting speeches of how poor they were and diatribes against the 'ignorant masses.'

Vandalism is stupid.

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I like the word groggy. It's also how I feel almost every morning. I try to fix it with coffee, but I doesn't always work. Except for this one kind: Highlander Grogg. Sure, it's a flavored coffee, and coffee purists may be offended, but I love this coffee. It definitely has a way of cutting through the foggy-groggy feeling that burdens me daily.



I've seriously been having a difficult time being 'alert'. School makes me tired, wears me out. I'd so much rather do nothing all day but play halo, play with electronics I like, surf the web, play my guitar, cook, and not care about stupid deadlines. I'm learning I don't do well with multiple projects. I'm at my peak with a single project with consistent scope. Boring, I suppose, but it's hell trying to shift gears when I'm trying to weed through a Xilinx kernel and have to jump into vga_generation and Verilog. I like computers, but I'm culturing a dislike towards academia.

I had a dream last night where I needed a heart transplant. Normally, I don't read into dreams. I feel they are manifestations of leftover or unfinished thoughts from the daytime (both conscious and subconscious). Maybe I feel my heart is broken and I need a new one. I miss Max.

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Normally, I'm not a fan of spring. Fall is my favorite season, followed by winter, summer, and then spring. Spring is wet. It's cold in the morning and late evening, so it's terribly frustrating to dress appropriately. In the morning, it seems like I need a coat, not a jacket. But by midday, a coat seems like a ridiculous thing to be carrying around.

But I think I'm finally tired of winter. Seasons in Blacksburg can be particularly capricious, regardless of time of year. I'm ready for warmth. I'm even ready for the beach (something I'm not a big fan of). I don't care if I'm 'beach ready' or someone who's still too tight for her summer clothes. I want to walk outside and be engulfed in heat, humidity, and sunlight.

So Spring, bring your water and then bring your heat. 'Cuz the faster you come, the faster comes summer.



P.S. Stupid commercials. Now I want a fig newton.

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I 'm kind of sick. I have a really grumbly stomach that wakes me up around 4:30 am and a runny nose and I'm exhausted. As a whole, it's nothing definitive but I feel real shitty all the same.

I'm so overwhelmed with school it's not even funny. It's worse that I've slept all day. I don't have time to sleep. I don't have time to eat. I don't like school anymore.

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MAXINE TURNER: A TRIBUTE
By Sam Stolarz
"Friendship is something everyone looks for. I was lucky to find Max.
It was a slightly odd relationship in that some of our likes were
worlds apart. She would watch children�s shows while she did her
homework. She followed the lives of the actors on those shows (i.e.
Steve Burns from Blue�s Clues) and listen to the sounds of their
bands. She couldn�t sleep in past 9:00 in the morning, and she
absolutely could not stay up through an entire night.

But we both liked breakfast at Gillie�s. We enjoyed a good cup of
coffee. We shared a love of food. We liked to sing in the shower. We
both called ourselves liberal and had a sense of pride over our
heritage. We liked foreign languages. And I know we shared a soft
spot for music and punks.

I�ve never met anyone like Max, and I�ve never met anyone who
didn�t like her. She was more than a roommate, more than a friend.
As her sorority sister, I admired her.
She reminded me of what our sisterhood stood for. She was a
shining example of what we believed in. She was exactly the type of
person I believed the sorority represented.

In the academic sense, Max was outstanding. She had a strong work
ethic that extended to her extracurricular activities. She worked hard
toward everything she hoped to achieve. And she was a valiant
friend. She had a great sense of humor that was complemented by a
radiant smile and a laugh that made you grin. She would fight for
those she cared for and would fight for what she believed in.

Lucky does not come close to how privileged I was to know Maxine. I
was honored. She left a great mark on our sisterhood, and we will
always remember that touch."



Maxine, I think of you, I miss you, I love you. May you be at peace.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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