i spent 2 1/2 hrs washing my car today..... wtf? i love my car and all but damn... that took awhile. got couple more cds. yellowcard and lost prophets. good cds. i like them, abit more up beat than i'm used to, good music should help improve my collection from angry music to something alittle more balanced.

have any of you ever loved someone and that love not be returned to you but that person still wants to cuddle and all that but won't date you? that sucks doesn't it? i mean come on, quit dragging it on, either love me or not. be my friend or my lover, or be both, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!! but just stop making me hope, and telling me not to get my hopes up, its destroying our friendship.. now theres someone new someone my age, my intelligance, someone who likes the way i speak with passion, but yet she is just like you, not wanting to date yet... wtf? is there no salvation from this? from females who are confused, i know what i want..... why can't they? i thought they were supposed to mature faster than men?

i just wish it was alittle easier.... i guess asking to make a patienct person all those times really screwed me over..lol, at least i can laugh at life and all that entails..... come to me my future love... show me that you are there.... lol... later on

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once again the bell curve has hit and i'm on the down slope but its cool cuz its better than it used to be. life is slowly improving probably b/c i'm not all depressed and being all moody. twy is off to college (i'm proud of you for it too), jess is there with her (watch over her jess, and for the sake of life have some FUN!!), Kushiel is still here in tx and no, i haven't heard from her since i saw her, how usual of her for that. happy late b-day to heather,(i know i already told you but :P) ummm..... emt school is almost over, i can't fucking wait to get out of it. i hope i pass the national registery exam, that way i can tell me command "up yours for not believing in me and supporting other sailors but not me" oh well, i kiss no one's ass....we'll i'll kiss whom ever happens to be my lover's ass. thats just normal for any guy, but even she won't walk over me... umm, talking to a chick in el paso, not going so well now.... things change... going a bit more south this weekend to a friend's family b-b-q. gonna meet some of his relatives and their friends (its about time i got into some sort of social scene where i can meet people,...mainly females) well neway, thats the update for this week.... later on.

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GO SEE AVP, it has got to be on of the best movies i have ever seen!!!!!!!

ok, onto other stuff. so, i meet this chick through the online personals. she lives in el paso, and we've been talking on the phone and everything seems great there, but you know me....

i went to the mall today spent around $200 and am not even worried about it!! now thats a great feeling, it was just a couple of cds i'd been wanting, a new cd case (my old one is full to the max and then some), got Kill Bill2 (haven't seen it yet, well, i saw a bootleg,lol) and a couple of books that i've been wanting too, got spanish for dummies too, i just want to learn it, it might come in handy down here in south tx. might even get me laid.lolololol probably not though.

so, i'm in south padre mall(in corpus cristi) and i see a hot topics, so i go in and i see this chick working the register, she's got her back turned to me but i can see that she has dreads down her back and i'm immediately interested, i've got to see the front cuz the back was just.....damn, i'm at lose for words. she was one of those nice, really slim girls..looking all delicate and all, but due to her additude she seemed so self capible.so, i walk around the store, which is full of teeny boppers (this makes me want to scream, curse, and start dropping kicking guys who think their cool cuz of how they dress. i mean come on!!! i heard this one guy say "Drop Kick Murphies?!? What kind of crap is that?" i was out-raged to say the least, but i let him live cuz i'm not a violent person....anymore) i get a look at her from the front and nearly died. beautiful in all aspects of the word.... neway, i've decided that i'm gonna go to mall a little more often and talk to her the next time i go.. the store was really way too packed to be able to get a number or even start a conversation. i'll catch one day though...

i had this talk with a person very close to me about how i feel about her and how she acts toward me. i talked all about mixed signals and asked her what was up, what am i supposed to think. i told i think she really wants to be with me but is a little afraid of feelings that deep.. and she said she didn't know, which didn't surprize me she is only 16 turning 17 this year. but i would still date her. considering i'm celibate, i could date someone that younge and it would be ok cuz we wouldn't be "sleeping" together. neway. i've got age limits though not under 18 for now. but not older than 25, but i would go 3years younger but not more than 5 older. so if your in that limit holla at ya boy!!! lol, what kind of shit is that? i just holla..lolol oh well. i'm gonna go home and watch kill bill2 and eat and talk on the phone and whatever else. later on.

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day i had a great fucking weekend. i got to see Kushiel. i got to talk to this chick from el paso. i'm finally getting a feel for tx. getting to know people. damn i feel great, alittle nausea but hey other than that..... i'm doing great.... later on

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emt school is nothin more than a review of what i learn for 14weeks in corpsman school and it puts limitations on what i can do on the civilian side cuz they suck ass. other blah.... Kushiel's in tx, i'm praying to see her. it would be a wonderful break from the norm. also, gonna start working at the single sailors place this week, like six bucks and hour and its a pretty cool job, just sit back do whatever and help who wants to buy tickets to whatever. other than that. nothin's happening here. got another contact on the online personals. hoping i'll be able to talk to this one on the phone,.....i tire of email quickly, i like to hear people's voices when i converse with them, the voice holds soo much in it that written word does not. neway, until later.....

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i stole this from bremma who stole it from ikmashokie who stole it from someone else

SECTiON 1 ABOUT YOURSELF…
+ Full Nayme: Milachi Cassiel Park
+ Sexuality: Male, currently straight
+ Age: 19
+ Location: the blazing heat of Tx
+ B-Day: Oct 14, 1984
+ Ethnicity: does it really matter?
+ Religion: Pagan/Spiritualist
+ Height: 5'9"
+ Shoe size: 10-11
+ Hair color: brown
+ Eye color: hazel that turns emerald
+ Style: me and no one else, so piss off
+ Fears: pink fluffy things (i'm joking, my fears are my own)

SECTiON 2 HAVE YOU EVER...
+ Peed your pants?ummm, i'm nearly 20.....so no
+ Cheated on someone? unfortunately
+ Fallen off the bed? a few times, but she pushed me!
+ Fallen for a relative? ummm, i'm from kentucky......and no i haven't, asses!
+ Had plastic surgery? nope, don't need it, i've got a good 7inches. lol
+ Broke someone`s heart? a few of them, but not proud of it
+ Had your heart broken? a few times, .... sometimes it still hurts
+ Had a dream come true? no, i have no dreams
+ Had sex? umm, lets see 1,2,3,4,5,6 yep sure have
+ Gotten a lap dance? oooo yes, a few
+ Done something you regret? i regret nothing
+ Cheated on a test? sure, gotta make the grade somehow
+ Been raped? umm, that none of your business
+ Broken a body part? yep, my right foot, wasn't in anyone's ass though

SECTiON 3 CURRENTLY...
+ Wearing? tight gray shirt with funny pic and saying, over shirt (gray and black, loking kind-a preppy today) kaike's(transline) some skating shoes, red boxiers.
+ Listening to? the hum of the ac
+ Eating? nothing, but will have a steak later
+ Feeling? lonely, affection deprived, and slightly horney
+ Reading? now-this screen later- the hagukara (yea, i know its spelled wrong but its a long word and its japanese)
+ Located? in tx, in the single sailor lounge, where i am the only person here, fitting name huh?
+ Chatting with? bremma, waiting for stormy
+ Watching? the cursor on the screen
+ Craving? do you really wanna know? a slim, fine, small medium breasted, semi long to lond haired, sexy eyes/face/bodied woman
+ Should REALLY be doing? my emt homework

SECTiON 4 DO YOU...
+ Brush your teeth?of course, what am i? a member of the army?
+ Like anybody? wouldn't be me if i didn't
+ Have any piercing? left ear lobe, thinking about repiercing my left nipple, thinking about doing both this time
+ Driving?where to? of course i drove to tx from va
+ Believe in Santa Claus? nope, i don't celebrate x-mas
+ Ever get off the damn computer? at8pm, when the lounge closes
+ Smoke? nope, its really unhealthy
+ Drink? presently quiting, no more booze for me ::tears up alittle::
+Got a cellphone? yep, damn electronic leash
+ Got a pager? ummm,.... you still use a pager, how 2000

SECTiON 5 THE LAST PERSON YOU...
+ Hugged? Kushiel
+ Kissed? ummmm, i think it was nichole
+ Gave eprops? not lately, nutang is waaay better than xanga
+ IMed? bremma, still waiting on stormy
+ Talked to on the phone?to my mother for like five sec
+ Yelled at? its been awhile, having yelled in a long time
+ Checked out? this chick who came into the clinic where i work
+ Tripped? a couple days ago, coming up the stairs to my barracks room, made me feel kind-a stupid glad no one say it

SECTiON 6 PERSONAL...
+ What do you want to be when you grow up? a chaplin that owns a tattoo parlor and runs a small computer graphic company that develop programs for graphics and uses those programs to make graphics
+ What was the worst day of your life? hold on gotta think on that one, have had sooo many
+ What is your most embarrassing story? forgetting this hot chicks name while talking to her
+ What has been the best day of your life? can't remember
+ What comes first in your life? my Kushiel
+ Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? a crush
+ What are you most scared of? ::refers you to the entry near the top::
+ If you had an extra set of eyes were would you put them? ummmm,... thats a hard one, i'd probably make an exchange with my own so i can have 20/20 vision (damn glasses)
+ What do you usually think about before you go to bed? i try not think
+ Did you lose someone you really loved? lost as in?dead?orjust not with you anymore?
+ How many times have you fallen deeply in love? 3times, never again though, NEVER
+ Love your family? my family consists of my close friends and my mother, you figure it out
+ Love your friends? ::refers you to the above entry:: can't you read jackass!!
+ Have you smoked? aloooong time ago
+ Have you drunk? yep, quite a few times, spent my 10grade year drunk
+ Have you fought? alot of times, i used to love to fight, still do, thats why i don't
+ What are you addicted to? Sudeki, damn game is freaking hard
+ Want to move? nope, tx is fine, like to have some property in Scottland though

SECTiON 7 FAVORITE...
+ Movie: too many but number one is "Devil's Advocate"
+ Song: "Running Blind" by GodSmack
+ Group:GodSmack, System of a Down, Varies trance dj's
+ Singer/Rapper:singer-ummm....does Avril count? rapper- got to be, ummm... don't now
+ Store: the porn shop, what? i'm a sailor and a guy, you do the math
+ Shoes: vans
+ Relative: i only have one relative, my mother
+ Sport: tie b/w boxing and pool
+ Vacation Spot: Atlantic City, NJ...you remember those nights don't you?
+ Ice Cream Flavor: Vanilla
+ Fruit: grapes, hey i was raised by italians
+ Candy: i dont eat candy unless she's fine as hell, hehehe
+ Food: ba gol gi (i think i spelled it wrong, but its a korean dish, props to Mai)
+ Car: my fav or what i drive? fav- nissan 350Z drive- 2004 Cav LS
+ Class: EMT,..waitoooo you mean fav?..ummm,...yoga?
+ Holiday: Samhain
+ Day of the Week: weeks suck, time is of no importance
+ Color: midnight blue, blood red, black, maybe night purple...
+ Magazine: Hustler is a good one, but i think i perfer Pent House, but then again...
+ Name for a Girl: Nishall -means 'night'
+ Name for a Boy: Milachi -means 'my messenger'
+ Favorite spot for a date: somewhere we can talk and have an interesting conversation, like a coffee shop or a poetry club
+ Favorite spot for an anniversary: a meadow at night, with no moon
+ Favorite resturant: ummm....twy's house
+ McDonalds: they suck ass
+ Burger King: good fries
+ In and Out: never been to the west coast
+ Wendy's: alright
+ Quote: "Dance as if no one is watching, Love as if you've never been hurt, And Live as if each day is your last."

SECTiON 8 DO YOU...
+ Like to give hugs? yeeeeaaaaa!!
+ Like to give kisses? if they know how
+ Like to walk in the rain? sure
+ Sleep with or without clothes on? sometimes
+ Prefer black or blue pens? GREEN!!!!
+ Dress up on Halloween? i dress up every other day of the year, so i take the day off.lmao
+ Have a job?duh? i'm in the navy
+ Like to travel? sure, join the navy see the world! (says it with LOTS of sarcasism)
+ Like someone? yea, she's fine
+ Sleep on your side, tummy or back? is someone sleeping next to me?
+ Think you're attractive? yea, i'm cute enough
+ Want to marry? maybe someday
+ Have a goldfish? goldfish suck as pets, but good as bait, "glub glub glub"
+ Ever have the falling dream? only when i'm fallin out of the bed
+ Have stuffed animals?only two, a pillow made by Nishall and a beany baby given to me by a friend (you know who you are)
+ Go on vacation? not really, i normally don't vacation

SECTiON 9 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT...
+ Abortion: sometimes
+ Bill Clinton: good speaker, gots that charisma
+ Smoking:how many times you gonna ask this?
+ Eating Disorders: you mean like, not having enough kechup? lol, sorry that was wrong, not a good thing to have. people should be stonger willed
+ Suicide: i hope everyone fails at it, to only realize why they should live
+ Summer: good times
+ Tattoos:have 5 now, gettin another pretty soon
+ Piercing: had a few, would like to re pierce my labra
+ Make-up: i'm pretty good at, ....don't ask

SECTiON 10 THIS OR THAT...
+ Pierced nose or tongue? niether, well.....maybe the nose
+ Single or taken? single of course
+ MTV or BET? MTV and BET
+ 7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek? neither, they both suck ass
+ Sugar or salt? whats cookin?
+ Silver or gold? Silver, duh, gold sucks, but looks goood on some poeple
+ Chocolate or flowers? flowers are sooo much more romantic (i sound like a pussy!!!)
+ Color or Black-and-white photos? i don't take pics, their evil...unless its porn..lol
+ M&M's or Skittles? I DON'T EAT CANDY, ALITTLE REPEATIVE AREN'T WE?
+ Stay up late or sleep in? i have imsomina you figure it out.
+ Hot or cold? cold, got excuse to get close
+ Sun or moon? moon
+ Left or Right? both
+ 10 Acquaintances or one best friend? one best friend, but 10 acquaintances can be better for the hook up on stuff
+ Mustard or ketchup? Ketchup, i like red
+ Spring or Fall? neither, cuz winter is the best
+ Give or receive? why not both? enjoy both sides of the coin
+ A year of hot sex or a lifetime of friendship? well, i've had the year, hell i had two years, and got the lifetime of friendship out of the deal, have the best of both worlds.
+ Happy or sad? can't tell which
+ Wonder or amazement? i wonder at stuff, and am amazed when females find me attractive
+ McDonald's or Burger King? didn't i already answer this?
+ Mexican or Italian food? i'm in tx but am alittle italian, so both
+ Lights on or off? very dim light, like moon light, sets the mood and seems to make everything much more sensual
+ Candy or soda? ummm, soda. duh.
+ Pepsi or Coke? Surge, bet you dont remember Josta now do you ya?

and this is where it ends...kind-a odd place to end

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