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And we are magic talking to itself, noisy and alone.
Anne Sexton
Let the truth blow like a hurricane through me.


joanieloveschachi
age. 23
gender. female
more info.
Deeper than bones.
Say shit, say death, say fuck the father,
Satan says, down my ear.
The pain of the locked past buzzes
in the child's box on her bureau, under
the terrible round pond eye
etched around roses, where
self-loathing gazed at sorrow.

excerpt from Satan Says by Sharon Olds
Life is not to fear...life is to enjoy


October 2008

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Current theme song.
song: Ghetto Gospel
artist: Tupac feat. Elton John

Hit 'em with a little ghetto gospel

[Chorus: Elton John]
Those who wish to follow me (My ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
and the red sun sinks at last
into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior
Without the sound of guns

[Verse 1]
If I could recollect before my hood days
I'd sit and reminisce thinkin of bliss of the good days
I stop and stare at the younger my heart goes to 'em
They guessed it was stress that they under
And nowadays things changed
Everyone's ashamed of the youth
Cuz the truth look strange
And for me it's reversed
We left them a world that's cursed and it hurts
Cuz any day they'll push the button
And all good men like Malcolm X
and Bobby Hutton died for nothin
Don't it make you get teary, the world looks dreary
When you wipe your eyes see it clearly
There's no need for you to fear me
If you take your time to hear me
Maybe you can learn to cheer me
It ain't about black or white cuz we're human
I hope we see the light before it's ruined
My Ghetto Gospel

[Chorus]
Those who wish to follow me (Ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
and the red sun sinks at last
into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior
Without the sound of guns

[Verse 2]
Tell me do you see that old lady, ain't it sad?
Livin outta bags
But she's glad for the little things she has
And over there there's a lady
Crack got her crazy
Guess who's givin birth to a baby
I don't trip and let it fade me
From outta the frying pan
We jump into another form of slavery
Even now I get discouraged
Wonder if they take it all back
Will I still keep the courage?
I refuse to be a role model
I set goals, take control, drink out my own bottles
I make mistakes but learn from every one
And when it's said and done
I bet this brotha be a better one
If I upset you don't stress
Never forget that God hasn't finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes I go blind and let the Lord do his thing
But am I less holy?
Cuz I took a puff of blunt and drink a beer with my homies
Before we find world peace
We gotta find peace and end the war on the streets
My Ghetto Gospel

[Chorus]
Those who wish to follow me (Yea, ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
and the red sun sinks at last
into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior
Without the sounds of guns

Lord can you hear me speak?
Accurate poem
Tuesday. 11.2.04 9:24 pm
Vanity
Kathryn Stripling Byer


Without hands
a woman would stand at her mirror
looking back only,
not touching, for how could she?
Eyelid.
Cheek.
Earlobe.
Neck-hollow.
The pulse points that wait to be dusted
with jasmine
or lavender.
The lips she rubs
rose with a forefinger.
She tends the image
she sees in her glass,
the cold replication
of woman,
the one
who dared eat
from her own hand
the fruit of self-knowledge.

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If you could save me
Monday. 10.18.04 9:00 am
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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busy as hell
Thursday. 9.23.04 10:30 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

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first time i ever took an IQ test
Friday. 9.10.04 8:28 pm
Congratulations, Michelle!
Your IQ score is 131

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

Take an IQ test!

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excerpt from the Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
Wednesday. 9.8.04 8:27 pm
But as he descended the hill, a sadness came upon him, and he thought in his heart:

How shall I go in peace and without sorrow? Nay, not without a wound in the spirit shall I leave this city.

Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Too many fragments of the spirit have I scattered in these streets, and too many are the children of my longing that walk naked among these hills, and I cannot withdraw from them without a burden and an ache.

It is not a garment I cast off this day, but a skin that I tear with my own hands.

Nor is it a thought I leave behind me, but a heart made sweet with hunger and with thirst.

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now that that's over
Thursday. 8.26.04 1:25 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

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