Wow, it's been a while since I've felt compelled to write anything..and I guess there's not a whole lot to say these days. Thanksgiving we headed to Ryan's mom's after work. They'd already eaten, but the food was still warm. After eating we headed over to see his great grandma. We took her a plate of food. She was in a good mood, which is always a plus. She has Alzheimer's, so it's a hit or miss usually. The home she's in has done a lot of good for her, though, and she's generally in a better mood than she was before she went in.
Black Friday was insane. I was exhausted, and between two jobs I was scheduled for an 18 hour day. Left the airport a little early to come home for a quick nap before heading out for my first day at the Picture People in almost two years...on Black Frickin' Friday! I did passably, I guess. Nothing spectacular, but nothing horrendous. When I went in yesterday they had me do nothing but shoot, so I guess they didn't have any serious complaints. Admittedly I'm a perfectionist about my shooting, but when someone says, "wow, you're a really good photographer" on one of my shittier sittings...I get concerned. Anyway, moving on...
Saturday I was wobbly and sore, but we still made it out to Reading for a mead tasting. I picked up a few oils I've been needing, and we drank some pretty tasty mead. We then decided that we hadn't found our Yule gifts for this weekends ritual, so we drove out to Dover to pay a visit to Bell Book and Candle, which is an amazing little store in many ways...and not at all invalidated by the fact that they sell Sandman graphic novels. Found our Yule gifts, made an adult decision against our wills not to buy anything for us, and headed home.
Sunday I worked another ridiculous double. I signed up for 4 hours OT, got extended for another 4...I know we need the money, but geesh! Two in one week!?! I made it, though, and got through all day Monday. After work we headed to Franklin Mills for a few new crystals for our door grid and some Christmas presents. Five Below had DVD's for $5, so we got a couple movies and headed home.
Tuesday I had to work at the mall, and it went alright. I was never really out of a sitting for more than 10 minuites, so I got home in beat up shape. Ryan wasn't home, so I bummed around and napped until he came home to wake me up. We wore each other out, made some soup, and watched a movie. It was a wonderful night...er, early morning. We passed out at the end of Knocked Up somewhere around 5am and slept until yesterday afternoon. All we really did yesterday was go to target for some new sheets, afew groceries, and some Christmas presents. It was a nice, lazy day around the apartment...something we don't get very often.
Today I woke up and ended up flat on my face three times in ten minutes...it was NOt a day to be at work. I've gotten a few things done, but mostly I've slept. Not a great day, but not the worst I guess. At the moment I'm trying to work up the energy to make meatballs for sauce. Meh. The life.

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..at least this year we have functioning heat and hot water.

It's been an extremely tiring and trying few days. After 2.5 days of cleaning, a new bookshelf, grocery shopping, and a few suppressed explosions, Cat and Nicky arrived in time to help us finish up preparations for our week early Thanksgiving dinner. By the time Ryan's family showed up I was almost our of order, and I hadn't been out of my pajamas in almost 48 hours, so I showered while every one ate and found myself a place to sit. Everyone seemed pleased, and the night rolled on as well as it possibly could have. I finally got to take in a little dinner around 8pm, after I'd gotten notice that I'd been adjusted to work at 430am the next day. By then I'd been stumbling into walls and screwing up pies for hours. This was NOT going to happen. Most of the crowd filed out, and a few of us started a round of poker while we drained a large bottle of Jameson. As soon as we started to set up the mattress for Cat I lost use of my legs and began to spin inside my head. I got upstairs just in time to throw up the plate of food I'd managed to keep down earlier in the night and stumble to bed. Not as bad a day as my whining makes it sound. It was great to see every body, and it really makes our place feel like a home when we can welcome into it those we consider family (minus a few faces). We want all of our close people to know they are always welcome here.
Yesterday we went to the Please Touch with Nicky. I did my best to stay upright for the short time we were there, and Ryan kept me on my feet when I couldn't do it on my own. We wandered around playing in the Alice in Wonderland maze, rode the carousel, then headed to Olive Garden for soup, salad, and breadsticks before coming home for a nap. The game of the night was Munchkin, which I'm terrible at, but it was still a good time with friends and some wine to send me to bed in MUCH better shape than I was in the night before.
This morning was a little rough, but we made it. I got Cat and Nicky to the airport and wandered around Center City before heading home where I've been thrust back into the reality of sickness without distraction and bills we can't pay. I miss them already. It reminds me of when they left Philly. I still feel a little out of sorts, but I should be in ok shape for work tomorrow and Wicca 101 on Saturday. Still, there's a loneliness in the house being suddenly empty. The money situation is really starting to run us both down, and we're so close to breaking even...it just never happens. I need a nap. I need a hug.

I need.....something.

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After a 13 hour day Thursday and a full day Friday I had a feeling Saturday would be a bad day. Luckily, I'd gotten the call Monday to inform me my FMLA status had been approved. Small victories and all, I made sure to cover my tracks and asked my trustee union rep what I needed to do to use said leave, and he told me all I had to do was mention I was using it when I called out of work. Sounds easy, right?
My fears were confirmed about midnight Friday when I lost all control of my faculties and crashed out. Not only was I not making it to work, I was pretty sure I wouldn't make it out to Delaware. Around 2am I gave in and called my hours in. 515 I get a call asking why I'm not at work. No one had checked the messages before they were having sweet dreams of no-show paperwork. 530 I get a call that says I never mentioned I was using FMLA, so they didn't know if it would apply...therefore I was likely to be terminated. What do I do? I called said union rep, who told me as long as I'd told them it was FMLA I was fine, and I should contact a supervisor, so I did.
Now, here's where things get hairy. Supervisor on duty told me she listened to the message and that not only did I never say my name, but I also never mentioned FMLA. She told me she thought I was somebody else and that all I said was "I'm not feeling well today, I'll call you later." My words verbatim were, "Hi, this is Jenn. I'm going to use my FMLA hours today, and I will call you later today about tomorrow." End message. When I told her this she said, "Well, I just heard (UNION REP) tell you that. Of course you're going to say it now."
So, now the gyst of it is that I'm waiting a judgement...I've already been advised by a few trusted sources in the legal world that it's an easy case in my favour if they fire me.
In any case...
Although I was in a lot of pain this weekend, we decided to go anyway. Besides, classes don't require me to have legs. I worried about having to stand the duration of a rather long audience ritual, but I sucked up the energy and hobbled myself to the circle. The ritual itself was fantastic, although I know find myself in the good graces of, and almost pally with, a pretty potent deity. When I prepared for my audience I never expected the blend of good advice, blessing, and jocular revelry (?!?) I received. I guess you never can tell. In many ways this weekend was exactly what we needed. We got a chance to reconnect with our spirits, the earth, and each other. We've been so stressed and busy lately we've forgotten to take the time just to be at peace. As much as it was an opportunity to expand and learn, it was also an opportunity to rest. We absorbed more than we're conscious of yet, and that's a beautiful feeling. Last night we came hom,e played some Worms, and rested in each other's arms discussing not the next step this time, but the current step, the exact moment of this journey we are both on. It's a little muddy, a little rocky, and slightly dark, but this step is still one we walk together...and it's imperative to the journey. For a sleeting moment....peace.

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so I'm blogging on Halloween Weekend...which means two things..one, I have to work tomorrow at 7am...two, I can't sleep..so here's a quick Boo Day Review:

Yesterday I carved a bunch of pumpkins while Ryan was at work, managed to lock myself out of the house JUST as trick-or-treaters started walking my block...which meant the candy was locked inside, too. I ended up climbing the back fence and coming in the back door. Ryan called and informed me he was at his mom's house because a deer jumped less than a foot in front of the car. Kris picked me up to transport me to Zak's house, where I drank myself into a light toast before taking a nap in his roomie's bed until we headed home.

Woke up a few hours later and headed out to Springfield for Wicca 101 workshops and Samhain ritual number 2. It was a gorgeous day outside, and I can't thankt he powers that be enough for whatever strings were pulled to get my all day LWOP for today. The ritual itself took a lot out of me, which isn't normal...then again, this ritual wasn't normal for me. Long story. Let's just say it was very um...touching. I was also running on half sleep and not feeling well on top of it...thank gods I have my appointment Monday to see what the tests said. The plans were to hit one or two of a few parties, but I knew I wouldn't make it...so Ryan went to Zak's without me.....lame...so now I can't sleep...

well...fuck,

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For those of you who don't know..Samhain is NOT Satan's birthday, no matter what you were told as a child. We won't get into the "how can I worship or celebrate a being who was created by a religion started AFTER mine had been in existence for several centuries" conversation now, but there will be no ice cream cake or Jesus pinata today. The day is, however, the Wiccan (or similar nature path) new year. A time when we celebrate those who have gone before us, seek their guidance and wisdom, and prepare for the coming winter and the year ahead. It is also a time to shed the baggage of the past year, and begin healing and cleansing. Moving on.


So, a new year turns this week. A lot has happened in the last year, and there has already been a lot foretold for the coming year. Mainly, decisions and challenges. At Mabon we learned of these decisions. The advice I was given was to follow my heart, not lose my head, and be prepared for any decision I make to be at a cost. I was given hope, however, that I will not be abandoned to make these decisions on my own, but I will have the responsibility to make them. At Samhain last weekend I was told by someone who has passed on before me not to make the same mistakes she did. With my current health situation and the coming challenges ahead, this is a rather significant piece of advice. But what of the second visitor. She was voiceless, but she was inspiring. The embodiment (or disembodiment as it were) of my spirit guide? I will not be alone. She looked into my eyes and I knew things...things I don't even fully understand myself yet. A couple spreads later I had both hope and the promise that things may get worse, but they will also get better...That I don't have all the information yet to make my decisions...That if I keep my faith and courage with me, I will pull through this.

Winter comes, and with it a time of preparing for the spring, of planning, of introspection. I was told to plant my seeds in winter instead of spring. I just need to figure out what those seeds are.

But first! A celebration! A new year coming, a holiday season approaching, a party tonight, and I get to go to my classes and a larger Samhain ritual tomorrow! This makes me a very happy witch.

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Ok..work work work...
So, I'm still fighting the FMLA fight...one line filled out wrong and my claim is denied again...so Monday we try to fix it. I vent to a coworker only to find out that the people I work with have never advance past junior high, and have been talking about me behind my back. Come on, people, act like adults. What's worse is that it's all about how I'm sick but I'm always asking for people to cover me for "vacations". You want to know the real story? Honestly I ask for my "Wednesday" off because I can't work more than three days straight, and this way I can cover most of the week without being completely immobilized on my day off. I took a four day trip that had been paid for already, not by me, and would've been a slap in the face not to take after we'd been given such a gift. The rest of my time off? Believe me, NOT a fucking vacation! I'm sorry it's none of your business as much as you like to think you know what you know about me.
We were supposed to have a shoot and hit a pumpkin patch yesterday, but the rain kept us in. Samhain was absolutely wonderful, and it was nice to be started in my participation. I turned in my letter of intent to join a specific oven last week, and yesterday they accepted me warmly and asked me to help out. It was a very good feeling. The event itself was intense for both of us in good and slightly speechless ways. It left us in deep though once we got home, which led to a synchonized case of insomnia, so we grabbed some cards and headed to the Ridge to grab some grub. Unfortunately that meant not a lot of sleep before getting up for today's event.
My friend, Liz, hired us to shoot her wedding. We beat every one by about a half an houe, but the place shaped up beautifully. The Dames Mansion in Center City was absolutely gorgeous, and the outdoor ceremony was wonderful. It was wonderful to be able to catch up with Liz while I worked, especially shooting the prep time in the dressing room. A little down time, a little sitting getting her hair and make up done, and a little "AAAHHHH!!!", and we had one of the most stunning brides I've ever seen. These jobs give us a lot of ideas to cut costs and personalize our own wedding. Today's was elegant but very budgetable. I loved it!
However, I am now more exhausted than I've been in a few weeks, and I'm looking at a 13 hour day tomorrow. We're hoping to be able to get out to a pumpkin patch sometime this week, preferably with Lyam in tow. I have a date Wednesday with a girl I've been talking to for a while, and I'm a bit excited. We've had a couple successful couples, but never just a girl,, and DEFINITELY not a one-on one.

On a slightly more disgusting note..the cat caught two mice today. One she killed on the spot, the other she crippled then tortured for two hours or more before she finally killed it. My cat is one sadistic little ball of fluff!

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