As you all should know, I am a devout patron of the classical arts, escpecially music. Thus, I have taken the liberty of bring you the famous statement Beethoven wrote, on which it's clearly evident of his great depression, sadness, and personal trauma.

Translation of the original German text
For my brothers Carl and [Johann] Beethoven

O ye men who think or say that I am malevolent, stubborn or misanthropic, how greatly do ye wrong me, you do not know the secret causes of my seeming, from childhood my heart and mind were disposed to the gentle feelings of good will, I was even ever eager to accomplish great deeds, but reflect now that for six years I have been a hopeless case, aggravated by senseless physicians, cheated year after year in the hope of improvement, finally compelled to face the prospect of a lasting malady (whose cure will take years or, perhaps, be impossible), born with an ardent and lively temperament, even susceptible to the diversions of society, I was compelled early to isolate myself, to live in loneliness, when I at times tried to forget all this, O how harshly was I repulsed by the doubly sad experience of my bad hearing, and yet it was impossible for me to say to men speak louder, shout, for I am deaf. Ah how could I possibly admit such an infirmity in the one sense which should have been more perfect in me than in others, a sense which I once possessed in highest perfection, a perfection such as few surely in my profession enjoy or have enjoyed - O I cannot do it, therefore forgive me when you see me draw back when I would gladly mingle with you, my misfortune is doubly painful because it must lead to my being misunderstood, for me there can be no recreations in society of my fellows, refined intercourse, mutual exchange of thought, only just as little as the greatest needs commanddisposition, although I sometimes ran counter to it yielding to my inclination for society, but what a humiliation when one stood beside me and heard a flute in the distance and I heard nothing, or someone heard the shepherd singing and again I heard nothing, such incidents brought me to the verge of despair, but little more and I would have put an end to my life - only art it was that withheld me, ah it seemed impossible to leave the world until I had produced all that I felt called upon me to produce, and so I endured this wretched existence - truly wretched, an excitable body which a sudden change can throw from the best into the worst state - Patience - it is said that I must now choose for my guide, I have done so, I hope my determination will remain firm to endure until it please the inexorable parcae to bread the thread, perhaps I shall get better, perhaps not, I am prepared. Forced already in my 28th year to become a philosopher, O it is not easy, less easy for the artist than for anyone else - Divine One thou lookest into my inmost soul, thou knowest it, thou knowest that love of man and desire to do good live therein. O men, when some day you read these words, reflect that ye did me wrong and let the unfortunate one comfort himself and find one of his kind who despite all obstacles of nature yet did all that was in his power to be accepted among worthy artists and men. You my brothers Carl and [Johann] as soon as I am dead if Dr. Schmid is still alive ask him in my name to describe my malady and attach this document to the history of my illness so that so far as possible at least the world may become reconciled with me after my death. At the same time I declare you two to be the heirs to my small fortune (if so it can be called), divide it fairly, bear with and help each other, what injury you have done me you know was long ago forgiven. to you brother Carl I give special thanks for the attachment you have displayed towards me of late. It is my wish that your lives be better and freer from care than I have had, recommend virtue to your children, it alone can give happiness, not money, I speak from experience, it was virtue that upheld me in misery, to it next to my art I owe the fact that I did not end my life with suicide. - Farewell and love each other - I thank all my friends, particularly Prince Lichnowsky and Professor Schmid - I desire that the instruments from Prince L. be preserved by one of you but let no quarrel result from this, so soon as they can serve you better purpose sell them, how glad will I be if I can still be helpful to you in my grave - with joy I hasten towards death - if it comes before I shall have had an opportunity to show all my artistic capacities it will still come too early for me despite my hard fate and I shall probably wish it had come later - but even then I am satisfied, will it not free me from my state of endless suffering? Come when thou will I shall meet thee bravely. - Farewell and do not wholly forget me when I am dead, I deserve this of you in having often in life thought of you how to make you happy, be so -

Heiligenstadt October 6,1802 Ludwig van Beethowen

For my brothers Carl and [Johann] to be read and executed after my death.

Heiligenstadt, October 10, 1802, thus do I take my farewell of thee - and indeed sadly - yes that beloved hope - which I brought with me when I came here to be cured at least in a degree - I must wholly abandon, as the leaves of autumn fall and are withered so hope has been blighted, almost as I came - I go away - even the high courage - which often inspired me in the beautiful days of summer - has disappeared - O Providence - grant me at least but one day of pure joy - it is so long since real joy echoed in my heart - O when - O when, O Divine One - shall I find it again in the temple of nature and of men - Never? no - O that would be too hard.

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This is a conclave Lansdowne Chapter had a while back, but I just never wrote up on it. Btw, this is for Demolay, which is an organization for young men aged 12 - 21. It's like a fraternity, but you can't drink. There's still lots of girls though, who are part of an organization called Jobies. That's the girl version of Demolay. If your still confused as to what Demolay is, it's the youth branch of Freemasonry. There. Now there's no way you don't understand. Still confused? Just Google it.
I have just gotten back from my very first Conclave, which is the provincial convention of Demolay, meaning there was us, Lansdowne, and Golden Ears and Ogopogo. Only one way to describe it: FREAKING AWESOME! It was almost as ass-whooping as Grand Sessions, but that's another blog. Here's what the hell went on at Kamloops BC Demolay Conclave 06:

Fri upon arrival:

We show up at about 4:30 after driving for like 4 hours. Hotel=nice. As soon as our shit was stowed away in our room, the pranking started. We jacked like 10 pillows from the other rooms, along with 5 huge blankets. Then we removed the screen from Troy's window, and put his garment bag with his suit hanging outside. That was funny. Then we had dinner, opening, blah. Blew time until 3 am, and prepared for bed. Somehow, we started talking about how awesome this was, ended with Brady throwing icecubes at my bed. Sleep: 4:30 am.

Sat:

Woke up at 7 for spirit breakfast. We (Lansdowne) did a strip show for the guests and members assembled. Business meeting for like 8 hours. When we arrived, we saw that we got pranked. In our room, one bed was piled onto the other. On top was chairs, our bags, the tv, ironing boards, and basically everything. The only thing that wasn't piled on top of the huge ass pile was the toilet paper and newpaper. Shreded newspaper and strips of toilet paper strewed across the ground, creating a "ground zero" look. Didn't clean up. Sleep: 4:30 am.

Sun:

Finally had to clean up, cuz we were leaving. Went to closing, really sad. Many tears shed, cuz of Nutty's outgoing as PrMC, and Mike's majority.

That was my Conclave. Can't wait til next year!

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As you can probably see for youself, my site is back online, blogs and all. Sorry for the inconvenience, and remember to come back as I continue to update.

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Currently, I am experincing technical difficulties on my site. It seems as though my blogs don't show up anymore. I am striving to correct this problem, and they should be back online soon.

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- Don't eat anything that's served to you from a window
unless you're a seagull.
People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of
Wendy's chili.

Hey, it cost less than a dollar.
What did you expect it to contain? Trout?


- Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with
their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better
description for these kids: lucky bastards.


- If you need to shave and you still collect baseball
cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of
your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.


- Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much
men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.


- There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a
whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that
watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want
flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's
your flavored water.


- Stop screwing with old people. Target is
introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label.
And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to
open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just
solved the Social Security crisis.


- The more complicated the Starbucks order, the
bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf
grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino,
extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh,
you're a huge asshole.


- I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from
sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the
amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again,
the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my
Almond Joy.


- Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in
it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass.
And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did
anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're
not spiritual. You're just high.


- Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the
seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive
Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too
damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're
already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."


- I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms If I'm extra hungry
for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.


- If you're going to insist on making movies based on
crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the
Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens.
Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first
place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.



- and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom
attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a
mint like I just had sex with George Cloony. I can't even tell if he's
supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want
to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.


- When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to
know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a
cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.


- If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a
job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce
or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around
saying" Do you want fries with that?"

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