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Blind to the gemstone alone

bauhaus
Age. 33
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Asian
Location ,
School. Other
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Friday. 6.4.10 2:01 am

So I was going through my old e-mails and saw nutang! I think I changed so much. I like how I wrote all my true feelings on nutang. Last year, I felt lonely and depressed. But this year was something else. I'm much happier. All because I joined the Culinary Arts program. It changed my life. It turned me into a different person. I'll start blogging again tomorrow because my mom and sister are sleeping. Don't want to be loud. Need a new keyboard.

I saw that movie SPLICE at a special advanced screening on Tuesday, June 1st. At first I didn't like it, but it was well made. Great graphics, interesting story and characters. It was that one scene that made me dislike the movie. Go watch it and you will know.

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deleting facebook soon

Sunday. 7.12.09 2:32 am

It's time for me to grow up. I want to delete my facebook, but I'm gonna wait a bit. Facebook is annoying and getting in my way. There is no good reason to have it anymore. It's lame. People on my friend's list isn't even my REAL friends. So why have friends on facebook when we never talk? right?

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Monday. 5.4.09 8:07 pm

I think I'm a pretty good friend. I share good things with my friends. When something cool happens, I always tell them. I don't tell good things to people who aren't my friends. I sound weird writing this, but it's true.

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Thursday. 4.30.09 7:36 pm

I made some new friends. I think it's amazing because we came from different backgrounds and yet we have so many things in common. She reminds me of my old childhood friends from far away. I told her that and she said, "It's the connection." I'm happy because she's the first friend who cared to talk to me. I've never had a friend like this before. It's something different. She's actually happy to see me unlike the people I met in high school. I barely have anything in common with high school friends. College has been great.

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Wednesday. 3.11.09 9:22 pm

It's no use complaining about the same subject over and over again. I complain a lot lately. It's been really stressful. I have to learn to let go.

Eversince I entered college, I made some friends/acquaintance with people who are at least 5 years older than me. Mostly guys too. I'm not liking that very much. I want to meet people my age for once. I feel so old. Always talking and hanging with old people.

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Friday. 3.6.09 8:21 pm

It feels depressing to know that I don't belong in any culture. I was born in Asia, and grew up in the United States. I came here at six years old. I barely know anything about my culture. I have no stories to tell. Everyone's dessert project has some meaning and tradition. I have nothing to say about my dessert really. The way I said it sound ridiculous too. I said, "I eat a lot of cake with my family even when it's not special occasion. My dad buys cake all the time." What kind of story is that? While people tell stories that actually relate to the food and their culture. I made a cake that did not come from my culture. I don't know how to make the dessert from my culture, and I never really had the real thing. I feel out of place.

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Currently

[Mood]

[surfing] nutang
[listening to] Sopor Aeternus & the Ensembles of Shadows

Current Lyrics

Equal Ways

So the circle cannot fade
It turns in endless ways
It turns its endless days

So this window offers views
Of endless loves and fears
Of endless moves and stance

We turn in rest and dance
Scoff at our arises and falls
I won't stop wonder
I will never stop wonder

They walk in flowers
They walk in shorts
They win the nothings
They win awards

It makes no essence to me
I walk the flowers
I win the nothings
So this circle cannot fail

It turns its endless ways
It turns its endless days

Scare the dower
Rises and falls
I won't stop wonder
I won't ever stop wander

We turn in equal days
So let's live in equal ways
We turn in equal ways
So let's live in equal days

Favorite Links

Macmillan Dictionary and Thesaurus [link]

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"I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day." ~Vincent Van Gogh

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