I have my good days, and I have my bad days, with you.
I feel like I make all the effort to see you. I feel unappreciated sometimes. I just...I don't want to make you heighten your expectations and feel you HAVE to do something when you don't want to.
But I will not lower MY expectations, for you, either.

My mom did a brave thing today. She got some bad vibes about the guy she was seeing regularly, about him lying to her, going out and not telling her, stuff like that. She'd tried getting out before, but she kept getting sucked back in because of his charm. Finally, I told her that she's going to keep getting sucked back in if she doesn't take action, now. She deleted all messages he sent her, and deleted him from her phone.

I'm proud of you, mom.

>.> Harumph.

I wish there were a few more weeks of Summer. Just like, maybe one or two more weeks. That'd be great.

Birthday in 5 days. :-D

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I almost put a link to NuTang in my AIM profile for the 20 pps.
Not that that's a bad thing, but I kind of like keeping NuTang a bit exclusive.
I like the tight-knit community aspect, plus the privacy is better from peers I see daily.
Plus, I know Katie would kill me. x.x

:-D

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I really like going to the Post Secret pages and reading new secrets.

I want to get one of the books, soon enough.

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But, I did indeed get the header image that I wanted.
A little more playing around with the template HTML coding should do the trick to make my NuTang page "exactly how I dreamt it to be in my wildest fantasies" (a quote from Dave on his Nutang Style Sheets Tutorial).

Haha. Ha.

Ahh. My birthday is a week from today. I don't have any plans what-so-ever, except working. Harumph.

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I got my restricted, today.
As I'm sure you read in the shout box, heh.

Man, it was so awesome today at the pool when Britney received a phone call from Katie telling her she was back home. She totally freaked. It was awesome :)

So my birthday is in...11 days.
Wow.
Another year older. Yay?

LOL :-D

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I suppose I could start admitting to things I've done, instead of trying to make up excuses on how I rarely do them, anymore.

-shrug-

I'm getting quite annoyed with one of my friends. Ex-boyfriend, to be exact. It has been...10 months since we have broken up, about. Yes, I've dated two of his friends. Yes, that was most likely bad on my part. Yes, I realize all this, and having people rag me about it doesn't help, thank you. But...I am getting fed up. He makes tiny smart-ass remarks, keeps making me feel guilty by bringing the breakup up in random moments, keeps trying to make me feel jealous because he's in college now and I'm still in high school for two more years, and tries to be best friends through my mom.

To explain that last part, my mom and his mom are pretty good friends. Lately, any time he wants to spend "extra quality time" with me, he would ask my mother to volunteer me to do something with him. If I have plans or work, I have to change my schedule around. He laughs, I get fed up. Like, for example, I was going to have to help him move to USC the other day, when I had work. Mom told me to move me to a later shift. Fortunately, I had to take a Driver's Ed course all day.

Reading over everything I just wrote, I realize that it makes me sound very shallow. Who knows, maybe all of this makes me shallow. He wants to stay friends, and he is hurt, because I've hurt him, and I can't fix it. So I suppose I can take the guilt-trips and small remarks without complaint. To an extent.

It's just...that kind of stuff isn't going to make me want to hang out more. I will not hang out with him out of pity. But I'm not going to want to continue to be around him if he will continue to act like this.

I guess I have to make some changes to my attitude, as well.

My birthday is in 13 days. If I pass the test, I get my restricted license on Tuesday. Twilight comes out 3 weeks before originally intended (Old date: 12.12.08 New date: 11.21.08) I am obviously excited about these things.

And, I guess you could say I'm excited to start school. My butt is going to get whooped this year because of full IB, but I am going to try my best to pull through with decent, satisfying grades.

This morning around 6:00 AM, I woke up to a huge thunder/lightning storm. I could hear the wind outside, too. I honestly thought a Tornado was coming, but that I was too far from the emergency siren to be able to hear it. I was so scared that I almost went and slept with my mom. But I sucked it up. Yet...after a while, I was able to fall back asleep to the sound of thunder.

Hm. Maybe I'm getting over my fear. I just...know that storms cause destruction, sometimes. And that's what I'm always scared of. And I don't want to let my guard down, and then something horrible happen.

Of course, that's what happens, sometimes, when you let your guard down.

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