Today the circus came to town...and they all wanted pictures taken.
Yes, ladies and gents, the circus has returned, scheduled to run through our store like a bunch of wild turkeys until Christmas. Of course...today marked the beginning of the first DIGITAL circus i've had the pleasure to take part in, which has it's own, unique set of issues to handle. What to do when the trapezes freeze. What to do when the lion's roar wont upload. What to do when there just arn't enough damned rings on the floor or clowns in the car. Alas, we survived...for now. It was a long day, dear readers, but we survived.

When I finally managed to escape the circus, I found Chris and the car waiting for me in the parking lot. Huzzah! We got home, finally got our turkey (which may or may not develop some sort of poisoning agent because it won't fit in the fridge, so it HAS to defrost at room temperature), ordered some chinese (because we haven't spent enough money on food for JUST tomorrow), watched some Growing Pains, and buckled down to work like pilgrim shoes! We chopped, we sliced, we boiled, and we decorated. I must say, this place looks pretty festive. This is probably the most I've ever looked forward to Thanksgiving. Of course, our 6 has turned to 4...and we have enough to feed 10...but that means I get to be creating about how many different ways we can eat leftovers before we OD on triptophan.

Well, my eyelids are getting heavier and heavier...and tomorrow is gonna be a big day. I'm trying to not even think about Friday or Saturday....or the rest of next week. I didn't get my day off for Wednesday, which is something I'll go into further later. For now, goodnight, and Happy Thanksgiving! Count your blessings twice today!

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today was pretty boring...
but chris and i got lots of goodies for thursday...
my wallet is missing....hopefully i find it soon....i really have no clue where it is...
i almost cried at the store because they wouldnt take a check without id and my id is in my wallet with my check cards...luckily chris is he-man and he fixed it hah...so that was our adventure...
tomorrow were supposed to be getting a few things at the mall...which will be impossible without my wallet...
feck!

tomorrow i should know if i got the say off for my group interview next week. otherwise i have to find out who to contact about the next one. bah!

gah! work tomorrow....long day wednesday...then prep for thursday so i can RELAX!

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Guys just do it --Tell her you think she's amazing. Tell her why you think shes so amazing. Play with her hair. Talk to her in movie theatres. Snuggle, Hold her hand, and lightly KISS her. Hold her hand and walk. Hold her hand and run. Just hold her hand. Pick flowers from other peoples yards and give them to her. Tell her she looks BEAUTIFUL. Introduce her to your friends as "The most amazing girl I know''. Sit in the park and talk to her. Take her to the library, ice skating, playgrounds, and coffee shops. Tell her stupid jokes... Whatever it takes to make her laugh. Write poems about her. Walk with her, even if its just around the block. Throw pebbles at her window at night. SURPRISE HER. Do things that make her SMILE, make her LAUGH, and make her want to KISS you right on the face. BE SPONTANEOUS.. When she starts yelling at you, tell her you love her. Give her back rubs. Play football with her. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Call her even if its just to say hi. Call her back if she calls you. Jump on the bed with her. Whisper in her ear. Sing to her, no matter how bad you are. Carve your names into a tree. Get her mad, then KISS her. Push her on swings. Stay up with her all night. Leave her little unexpected notes.. on the car, or on her door, saying how much she means to you. Take her to romantic places and lay out blankets to look at the *stars*. Make up nicknames for each other. Show up at her work or apartment unexpectedly. Send flowers and dorky notes that only you two understand. Lend her your cds. Make her cds of songs that remind you of her. Write her letters. If she asks you to go to a show with her, go, even if it means a 5 hour car trip. Go on a road trip even if theres no destination or you cant be gone long. Listen to her favorite songs. When shes sad or sick, hang out with her or stay on the phone with her, even if shes not saying anything. Buy her ice cream. Let her take all the pictures of you SHE WANTS. Look into her eyes. Slow dance with her, even if the music is fast. Make her a romantic dinner for special days. Remember dates.. even ones like your first kiss or date and surprise her on the anniversary. Kiss her in the rain. Kiss her when she least expects it. When yOu fall in love with her, TELL HER!!!

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i cleaned my fuckin ass off today...seriously...but our apartment looks spectacular! all we have to do for thursday is the floors, and those can wait so they can sparkle! we got a bunch of wings from the new place on main st. they were awesome! ralph came over and hang out for a bit, and after the game we all went to party america to get plates and turkey-ish stuff for thursday. our apartment is going to look great! then we get to start on christmas! im excited that we get to decorate this year! last year we spent christmas eve at chris' mom's so there was no reason to really decorate anything. this year they're coming here. we get to get a tree and everything. anywho, once back here we wacthed a movie, and now chris is out picking up chad and getting pizza. heh sunday is no diet day.

so i've reached that age. the age where all my friends are getting engaged. today i heard about the 6th one in like a month. congrats guys! next year im gonna be a bridesmaid again the day before my bday...i really hope this isnt cursing me to be "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" cuz well...id like to get married before im 50...


*warning ranty section*
i realized today how much i actually dislike my job. now, i love the kids. i love photography. but i dont like people who assume because i work at the mall im either not a real photographer OR that it gives them the right to treat me like an idiot/slave/whatever. you know, im not selling you a shirt. im using skill, hard work, and creativity to take pictures of children youve already done something to upset. im sorry i can mindcontrol them, im sorry its your only day off, and im sorry "she's nevr like this", but im not a miracle worker....im also not a whipping girl, so dont make me the scapegoat to your shitty day. all this and i still do everything i can to make sure these kids have an enjoyable experience, that theyre happy to be there, and that i at least try to get them to smile. i feel like nothing i do is ever good enough for anyone there. my managers dont seem to have any faith in me, and honestly im starting to lose faith in myself. im tired of always struggling with it. not the job itself, just the fact that i cant please anyone, ever. ok...

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LOVE without COURAGE and WISDOM is sentimentality,
as with the ordinary church member.
COURAGE without LOVE and WISDOM is foolhardiness,
as with the ordinary soldier.
WISDOM without LOVE and COURAGE is cowardice,
as with the ordinary intellectual.
Therefore one with LOVE, COURAGE, and WISDOM
is one in a million who moves the world,
as with JESUS, BUDDHA, and GANDHI.
(Ammon Hennacy)

I like that piece...

anywho...work sucked but it was a short day. i didnt really mind. took the buses to king of prussia to meet up with chris so we could see "the nightmare before christmas" in 3d! he'd never seen it all the way through, so it was special! i love that movie! awesome! now, however, im very sleepy as ive been going since 8am...i get to get up at 745 to start it all over again tomorrow...gonna be a long haul tomorrow. gnight all!

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Invitation to a Beheading... by Vladimir Nobokov

This book is one of my favourites by Nobokov, and one I can sit and analyze over and over again. The firt time I read it was a few years ago on the plane to Oakland. Iread the whole thing...twice.

The main story is based around a convict sentenced to death. The only problem is that his jailors never tell him when he's to be executed. Instead they drag it on. He's given books, a friend to visit with, but he's never told when he's going to die; only that it could be that day or it could be years from then. In the end...he's set free. You see, the real punishment is always the anxiety over knowing something is going to happen. The event itself pales in comparison to waiting, to what we psyche ourselves into. It's the feelings of dread, the stress of wondering if each morning will be your last, and being forced to live everyday as if everything were normal. Everyone does this. I do, I know. It's human nature. Nothing's ever as bad as we imagine. Nothings ever as bad as constantly wondering how bad it will be or when.

The lesson....enjoy life. Live as if it may be today, but don't let it torture you.

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