haha!! i just read specizhen's latest entry. well.. its triggered a few thoughts in my head.

Do fairytales really exist and that it always end with 'happily ever after'?

well... lets just say, i m the type of person who wants to believe in the fact tat fairy tales exist and everyone will live happily ever after even though my behaviour and appearance doesnt say so. but as i get older i realised in life there is no such thing as fairytales. fairytales are tings tat onli exist in dreams and storybooks. no one lives happily ever after cos life itself is full of problems and shit. fairytales i believe, its just there to give innocent n naive gals like me maybe some hope n things to look forward to in life.

like specizhen i have many friends who think they are love 'gurus'. i noe i m in no shoes to comment abt such stuff since i aint no love sage myself n i haven been in a relationship in my entire life before. but i just wanna say tis, how much do tis "love gurus" noe abt love? how do they noe wat they feel for tat person is love and isnt lust? haha!!! love at first sight!!! i nv believe in tat! but i believe in lust at first sight, sad right?

no matter how much debate on love whether it really existed? guess we will nv noe the answers. so wat is the pt of speculating??? to pass time??? or to create more headache for yrself???

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finally!!! i get to write something here. i been itching to post an entry since tues but dunnoe wat to write. nv knew i will use tis blog as an avenue to express my thoughts and vent my frustrations. i been kinda sian with life lately. been having really bad appetite and i dunnoe wat is the cause of it. its either tat i m seriously sick of the food or i simply stress myself out too much. anyway, i simply force myself to eat everyday but each time i just feel like puking it out. just hope tis wouldnt turn into an eating disorder. n just tat my mum will stop trying to force food down my throat cos she tinks tat i m starving myself when i m not!

tis is one of the killer weeks, i had 2 ca in a week n pretty much noe how i would do for both which is veri bad. sian! guess year 3 equals to sucky grades. well... guess tis is one of those weeks when i engaged in self- pity... damn i m pathetic! despite the fact tat i m so busy everyday, i cant help it but wonder abt alot of tings, tings tat i nv used to be bothered with n i aint enjoying it at all.

first question:
does JOB+MONEY+CAR+HOUSE+CASH = PERSONALITY?
if that is really the case, then i guess without all tis the person is really pathetic cos he/she must really material possessions to give him/her a personality. just sad to noe tat ppl actually place so much emphasis on the possessions...

second question:
y is life so complicated?
i pretty much concluded tis after much tinking. actually, life itself is simple... its just the human factor tat makes its complicated. i guess... aint so sure myself

third question:
when is tis reflection phrase gonna pass???
i m sick of it already!!!!!

damn... been seriously tinking too much recently... life sucks!!!!!

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i noe its freaking late now, but guess i just write an entry before i hit the sack...

today, i practically dragged my pathetic fat ass out of bed just to attend the poly forum interview tis morning at 10 unholy hour!!! haha! anyway, i met up with specizhen who had to attend tis interview too except hers was supposedly at a later time slot but she met up with me anyway cos she wasnt veri sure wat time was hers. damn! i was really hoping tat she would be on the same slot as me! so i wouldnt be the onli one in my interview grp looking freaking stupid!

anyway, we were late so the both of us scurried down to the SAA office looking veri auntie. anyway, both of us were veri surprised to find out tat we were in fact the earliest amg latest, quite an achievement for me. n it just happen tat heaven was on my side today,the nice receptionist placed specizhen n i in the same grp. so i have company now. each of us were given a form to fill up and state the reasons y we tink we shld be selected to attend the poly forum and wat were our preferred topics for discussion. its was at tat moment in time, we pretty much knew which topic we would not pick n tat was politics and anyting concerning current affairs. honestly, we noe shit abt politics and current affairs!!! the best ting is we tried to do sm last min work, i tried to read today's copy of TODAY and specizhen brought sm reference bk of sm sort. we also had to list down the cca we had taken part in, i was so tempted to write tis: "we do not debate, we onli organised debate" b'cos my club's name is simply misleading.

well... the interview didnt take veri long n thank god! the facilitator for my interview wasnt my bd tutor if nt i would have made a complete fool out of myself in front of him! so i had lunch with specizhen. we tok abt alot of tings and laughed our guts out! i guess the both of us were pretty much similar in characters and i guess our mentality towards certain tings in life itself.

i pretty much concluded the followings by the end of lunch:

1. at the rate we r going, we r probably going to be left on the shelves.

2. we r LOUD people who r actually in fact pretty conservative inside.
contradicting eh?

3. birds of a feather flock together so tat probably explains y most of my really
really close frens are single.(well... tats my conclusion)

4. haha! i cant remember wat other conclusions i had made. well! who cares about
my conclusions anyway!

tats all for now i guess! its time to go to bed n try to look human for once the next day. i tink nowadays i pretty much resembled a walking zombie due to the serious lack of slp. time to get enuff rest so i will have sufficient energy to panick over my GM first and maybe fm tests tom! okay i shld really stop rambling... nites!

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hmm... just an entry before i go to bed...

is change always a gd ting? i guess the answer for me now is no...i just feel tat sm ppl ard me had changed significantly. sm changed for the betta whereas sm changed for the worse. but i guess everyone changes without knowing themselves and they have no wat so ever control on it at all. even i tink i changed in terms of my personality a little. i tink after the holidays, i had to admit i felt i had changed into a more selfish and competitive individual, nt a gd change at all...

in a few mths time, i will be having a change in environment b'cos in the next few mths, i will be graduating from sp. i will be leaving a familiar environment to move on to a totally new environment tat i aint accustomed to. i for one fear the unknown.

at tis pt of time, a few questions crossed my mind. will i still be in contact with the ppl who i seen practically almost everyday for the past three years? will we still have tat much tings to talk abt when there is no more projects or tutorials? or will the changes tat takes place all the time without us noticing make each of us a less desirable person? will i be able to adapt to the change in environment? damn! i tink too much!!!

haha!!! i dun tink i m making any sense here. guess i m just too slpy... or its just one of those days where i tink too much n aint making any sense at all. hmm... i shld just go to bed.

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i didnt expect myself to write an entry so soon. so now out of my busy schedule, i just wanna express how DISGUSTED with guys' behaviour sometimes! no no...its like all the time!

today, i was listening in the guys' conversation.after listening in, i was simply DISGUSTED by the their thoughts and behaviour! u guys must be wondering wat could have pissed me off so much. well lets just say i tink they treat gals like OBJECTS! YES OBJECTS! NOT HUMAN BEINGS! now i have the impression, guys are REALLY DESPERATE! some of the guys ard me had just fallen out of love and at a SNAP of a finger, they are on the PROWL again for their next victim. smtimes i tink they treat gals like TOYS! it is like after playing with a particular toy for too long, they will get sick of it and the moment a newer and more attractive appear before their eyes. VOILA!!! they will just ditch tat toy away n treat it as though tat toy nv existed before.n of course, they will start having fun with the new toy! its just one VICIOUS CYCLE!!! another thing is they can actually get HORNY over the slightest thing. tis is one real example, one of the guys can actually feel horny at the sight of a babe placing a finger near her lips. HORNY BASTARDS!!!! smtimes, i tink they are simply think with their ROD! no no !!! its not rod more like twig! they dun tink with their Brains at all!

i was so disgusted by their actions to the extent tat i just feel like "TOCKING OFF" their twig or in guys' term, their MANHOOD or FAMILY JEWELS!!! haha!!! i even thought of a few ways of wat u should do to it after "TOCKING OFF" and they are not in order of merit:

1. haha!!! u shld make the owner of tat pathetic thing pour acid over it! yes
ACID!!! haha!!! n make them watch it VAPOURISE right before their veri eyes!!!
haha!!!

2. u shld make them pour kerosene and light it with the match themselves. haha!!!
who noes they might be choked by the fumes emitted!!!

3. simply throw it into the railway track when the train is approaching!!!

well!!! the list just gets longer but i wont list all of them! oh yah! just a note! if u wanna "TOCK IT OFF" for which bastard. PLEASE DUN USE A SHARP BRAND NEW KNIFE! USE A VERI BLAND AND RUSTY KNIFE TO "TOCK IT OFF" haha!!! lets just say, the process is much LONGER and PAINFUL with a BLAND AND RUSTY KNIFE!!! for all u noe, that bastard might just die of an serious infection!!! haha!!!

haha!!! i guess most of u reading out there must be tinking tat i just got DITCH by a guy tats y i wrote this entry. well!!! the answer is NO! i just expressing how i feel.

a note to all gals out there, dun let guys treat u like objects! u have the right to say no to everything! dun let yrself be tools for guys to satisfy their sexual needs!!!

P.S tis doesnt apply to all guys! just tat sm guys are bastards! sm of my guy frens
are darlings n gentleman! haha!!!

~tats all for "TOCK IT OFF"~

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hmm... i noe i haven been writing in for ages... been really stressed out by projects for the past few weeks. haha!!! i m still veri stressed out too!

today, my sis passed me an envelope holding 2 pics, both pics were taken on the day we celebrated BEAUTY Chua's birthday!!!



tis is one of them! guess tis will be one of my favourite pic cos its my first black and white pic! all of my frens looks pretty much the same! of course! haha! we made serious improvements on our appearances too! no longer stuck with the "mushroom haircut"! and guys if u wanna noe my gfs, forget it! most of them are taken!

wah! after looking at the two pics and the msg written on the back of it! it just hit me tat i actually noe tis bunch of ppl since i was 13 which adds up to 6 years altogether! even though i haven exactly kept in contact with them after i left O'levels but we still get to meet up occassionally during the holidays! guess i m veri happy and glad tat i still have frens tat still remember me. haha! damn! i just made myself sound so pathetic!!! haha!!!

damn!!!! i seriously missed them!

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