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memmorys are lost...
...to your own emotions

one year and counting.
Friday. 6.30.06 9:30 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

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a gothic love story...
Sunday. 2.12.06 3:38 pm
if i were to let go of you love it would be suiside, if i were to just let you go, i would lose it all... there is nothing in this world that would kill me more then to see you leave. i would not let it be, i would not just let you go like that. fuck that. i dont need to lost you to somthing like this. to death do us part and i live by that, no matter what. im sorry that things have happend the way thay have. and i expect to fix this shit, i sould have never put you thow the bull, that i have congerd up so well. i have broke 2 of the bigest pet peaves that yo have i cheated and i lied. i sould have never done ither of them. im not going to come up with some exuse. oh your 300 miles a way. no i did it cas i thot i could get away with it... but i could not get away with it, and in doing so i almost lost you. the best thing that has happend to me and i just about lost you. i saw the other side i dont like it. one mans heaven can be a nother mans hell. haven will never be what i want it to be with out you. you are my heaven... you are my dream... my reason for caring. if not for you then i dont think i would be were i am. im glad that you have given me this opertunity and im glad that you have fogeven me for the pain, in such i will promess you one thing and one thing only, you will always have my heart, no matter what happends. no matter how much you may hate me you will always have what i have always given you, and that is me.

for ever yours
Terry Lee Carlson

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yayayayay six months
Saturday. 12.31.05 1:44 pm
happy six months, my love im so happy that we have been together for six months, i hope there is so much more to come, you just meen so much to me, and everything, i love you so much, i remeber when we first met you was all nice to me, and shit. you sead that you dont usily tolk to people, especily guys, so i felt special, . and then we started to get close, and you sead that you liked me, and you wished that i was closer so you could know me in rl. i was like wow think you, and then we started to get even closer and you called me one of your best friends, and i was like wow, i think that is when i found that i loved you, we started to open up to each other and we found more and more greatness in eachother, but you sead that i lived to far for anything to happend. but i understud that, and respected that, but then i moved away, and i was with some one i was not to fawnd of, then i was able to tolk to you again, and we both aged so much and became so much more matcher and you sead that it was nice to see that you was not forgoten, i was like omg she still rembers me and she still considers me as one of her closest buds. you that day made me feel loved, and you had gaven me the same feeling as you did six months befor, i still remeber to this day the things you sead to me, and the little romatic things we did to gether, even if we were just friends, we still had so much fun together, and we were close as hell. and then i got the internet back after 8 months of not tolking we started tolking again, and you just sead that you didnt care about the distince thing, you just cared about me, and that you sead that you had found your self falling in love with me. i had never found my self feeling so happy in my life, you sead that yes even thow there was a distence thing there, you didnt care about that and that you would date me even if we were so fare apart. you just didnt want somthing like this to pass you up, i was like oh my god i think i have gotten what i wanted. and then we found out that we could actily become somthing. and when i first met you in real life the first time i ever saw you, you was in your sisters car and i was on my bike, you had climbed out of the car and i sead nothing i just gave you the bigest hug in the world, it was 3 days befor our first month aniversiry and it was the greatest moment in my life. to hold the one i love for the very first time. it was a dream coming true. and then we just grew even closer and closer, and found out that we didnt just want a boyfriend, girlfriend relationship, we found that we actily are just the same and my some day wish to get married to eachother, and everytime we have tolked about it it just brings us closer to eachother. and then you came out the secont time, and you asked me if i realy did want for you to become my wife, and i remeber the way i sead it and i looked into your eyes and just sead, "yes". and all you did was smile. nothing eals just smiled, and as time continued we tolked more and more about it, we have come to the conclustion that we love each other, and we both want to live together, and die happy in eachothers arms. all i know right now is that i love you with all myheart and that will never change, you mean everthing to me, and that is the reason i wake in the morning and continue to breath throw the days, that you are out there in love with me, and that i want you to make me happy, and i want to show you that your are the greatest persion that lives. I love you Arline Cervantes, with all my heart and all my soul. think you Arline you have done so much for me, and i want to repay you for everything that you have done for me, by helping your thow your life with me. i hope that some day we may die with eachother in our arms and each others love in our hearts. I love you!

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Tuesday. 10.25.05 3:27 am
me and arline are doing great i dont think i have been so happy in my live which is realy nice :D, she came down not to long ago which was hella bad ass, some picks i have thay are hella sweet i hope that worked if it didnt oh well just click it an it sould take you to the site, but yea it was hella fucken asome cas me and her spent the hole day together, from like 11am to like 1pm it was fucken asome, i loved it :D think you babe for everything your my everything, i dont know i guess every day i get to tolk to her i fall even more mad in love with her, its asome god i just love the way she looks thow she is so danm beautiful. i dont know i have never been attractid to someone as much as i am to her, :D she is just DANM!!! she is fucken wonderful, i love her to death, just found out that my BEST FRIEND IS MOVEN AWAY its not kool cas i have known him for so fucken long, i dont know, i would have to be gay to love him any more, he is like by brother, its going to be a great lose to us all chris, the slim family will never been the same with out you bro, but i hope where you go you find friends just like us, i dont know now that we all are getting older we are splitting up cas im probibly moven to SD to be closer to my babe, and finly be home were i belong, chris is goin back to colirto, i dont know its kool but yea, :\ peace bro forever in my memorys i will never forget the shit we have gone thow, and some of the shit that we have done to gether, the shit we used to give everyone, and how far we have gotten, ill miss you bro. but be kool, like you always have, lata, and have fun in colorato. well i guess that is it for now ttyl peace out all, latas ZerO out

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Wednesday. 10.5.05 4:45 am
Take the quiz: "Which Rock Guitarist Are You?"

Dimebag Darrell Abbott
you are the greatest fuckin guitarist EVER!there is NO ONE better!R.I.P. Brother Dime

oh yea look at them skills, every one check this im db :D, you were the greatest dime, for ever in our hearts and souls, may you be an insperation to every beging artest, i hope you playing your best show up there, ill be there soon, RIP DimeBag

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why???
Friday, September 30, 2005
i sould be happy right now being mine and arlines 3 month anivery, and arline just came out, just on sunday, but im not, i sould be updating with a happy note, but im not, i look at life right now and think in the back of my mind, what happend? ONE FUCKEN MISTAKE, WITH SOME ONE I THOT I LOVED, god why? i sould be happy but im not im losing the one thing that means my life to me, im losing everthing i have worked so hard to get, the only thing i would give my life for, the only thing that i have ever truly loved, and all for what, a kid. im losing the love of my life, cas i wanted to get a little happy, just for the hole 10secends of pleaser, i would give my life just to see her one last time. just to be with her one last time, i would give everything, i have just to be with you again, just so i could hold you again. its all becase of one fuck up in my life, and i guess that i have to deal with the consacuences of my actions, i just wish that i could have you by my side, to help me thow the pain, to shear the glory with me when i do good, to see the life i have given grow to be. and to make just the same as i have, to give one a life, and for both of us to be prowed with what we have acheaved and for the both of us to show each other that life is not as bad as it seams, and show eachother true love, cas you are the only one i will ever love again, think you thow for everything you have done for me, you have showed me what even in life ther is true happyness, but like i have sead ever good thing has to come to an end, i just expected it to be death that brings it to me, not life... well its better to love and lost then to never love befor, think you arline for everything you have done for me, but if this is the end then, i want you to remeber one thing, no matter what you will always be loved.

"im writing this as if it was my last, think you for the memroys and times we had, Remember me as if I never went away Because I see you all another day"

Terry,~Zero~ later all.

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