Yup... gotta love medicine. Not only do good pain killers get rid of the pain... they get rid of almost everything else too. ^-^ They make me happy and they make me want to sleep. I say this cause I need one {pain killer}. My jaw's really been bugging me today, it's locked almost shut. I kinda want to go in and get the surgery now just to get it over with. Plus if I get it now I should be brace-free by senior year. My mom's really thinking about taking me in to get it checked out cause it's never been this bad before... but o well, maybe a good night's sleep will help some and I'll be able to eat tomorrow when I wake up. I can only losen it by gently pushing on the joint or by laying on my left side for a while.

But anywho... things have been pretty good up until today. Just... good fun. And on Sunday (15 months together) we went to Crystal Palace and skated for a few hours. It was really nice. I haven't gone skating since before I left Fla... my 14th birthday actually. We're gonna start going more often now cause it felt really good to be back on wheels and Anthony said he'd like to go more often too <3. But, cause the rental blades skrewed up my leg nicely, I'm gonna be saving my money to get my own pair. Plus I can get around quicker then... and I might even be able to do some 'tricks' on them again. I haven't done any of that, though, since 6th grade when black widows invaded the boots of my blades. But hey, why not take a risk?

And, ya know what??? It's really hard to believe that the summer's gone so quick. It doesn't even feel like school's starting soon. We go back in 8 days. I'm kinda happy about it too... have stuff to do again and get to see my friends. I still need to do some shopping though, but that can wait. Friday's gonna be fun - freshman bbq up at school... Anthony, me, and a few of our friends are going so we know what we've gotta deal with next year. It should be interesting.
Anywho... I guess I'm gonna go and play some games or something. Goodnight ^-^.

Always,
<3Singe

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

I don't feel like figuring out a subject thing for this... all it is is thoughts and I know I've used that before.


Today I ran into the girl who was by best friend in 5th and 6th grade when I'd first lived out here... boy has she changed. She was looking for a job and one of her friends was w/ here... I think we were at Vons??? Well, anywho... me and Anthony were there w/ Jean, and since him and I'd been walking around he had his ICP hat on. Well apparently Jenn's friend is a 'lette... she asked Anthony if he was going to the gathering and when he said no I could hear how upset he is about it. Thing is... I think it's kinda my fault that he's not going. I know how "after-parties" w/ his friends go... they drink their asses off and get high. And I kinda don't want him to go. I know he didn't go to the last concert cause of his cusin's graduation, but there's nothing keeping him from going to the gathering. And I know he can get money and a way to get there if he just askes... but... fuck.. idk. I feel like I'm a bad g/f cause of this. I'm mostly afraid that if he goes that he'll find some Juggalette and I'll be completely wiped from his mind of something. Cause I know I'm no 'lette... I'm nothing compared to a 'lette. And I know that's most Juggalos' dreams is to fall in love w/ a 'lette. Plus I'm hearing a bunch of chicks asking him if he's going... what if he does go and he runs into one of them? Who's to say what'll happen. I don't want to say I don't trust him... I trust him mosre than I've ever trusted anyone. But I was always told [and constantly reminded] that "anything can happen"... and thta falls under anything. And I don't want to tell him [even tho he's probably gonna find out now anyway] cause I don't want him to get mad at me... but I'm kinda tired of just sitting here crying to myself thinking of it. I feel so horrible for all this. He's probably going to hate me now, and then it'd just all......... end. DAMNIT!!!! I've just gotta stop thinking!

Comment! (2) | Recommend!

okay, my nutang thing is gay. I have to change the time and date every time I want to do an entry. The date idc about, but the time thing is annoying. Anywho, summer's still pretty boring. I've begun writing another "story." Though hardly anyone probably remembers my other on 'Bloody Thorn' that got stolen my freshmen year and I was really pissed. But that's pretty much the height of my summer. Or as one of my friends asked.... "So this stupid story thing is better than the sex!?" I couldn't help but laugh. After all, the story is the "sex". I've heard things similar to it be called 'fetish novels.' But oh well, it's whatever goes through my mind when I pick up a pen or pencil that goes down on the paper. I don't care what people think about it. And yea I know, my 3-set subjects are kinda weird. The last one I think was pretty obvious to pick out... well, to me it was. Death- was the rat dying (R.I.P. Nibbles 1). Tears - crying over the different losses that were all happening at the same time (mostly my friends graduating and saying farewell). And Bloodshed - the fight that was happening w/ the bitch that hates me as it is... not to mention that tshe hates me more [probably] because Anthony and I are together. This time it kinda is, but it's not. Idk how to put it. I guess it's cause it's all kinda tied into one main thing, not a bunch of stuff like the last one. I guess I'll put it kinda in order -> not by the title tho.

Smiles -> we went to petco and decided to get another animal only that it'd stay at his house this time. His step mom would freak if she knew. We got a dwarf hampster at first, but he was a little satanic puffball. He kept biting me when I tried to hold him and quite often I bled. Well we got him on the 3rd... on the 5th we brought him back. We figured that he wasn't a good pet - he was too mean. While we were there we got another small rat. She stood out amongst the rest of them (I picked her out). She's solid black/ dark brown except her pink paws and nose, and she has a thin white stripe down the center of her stomach. She's smart too... she knows to go back in her cage to use the bathroom when she's out on Anthony's bed. And she's a very curious little rat. Oh, and we named her Nibbles 2 cause Nibbles didn't have a very long life. Okay, um..... where was I? Yea... and then later on today me and Anthony are going to try to go to the movies to see Pirates of the Carribbean<3 It's been over a month since we've been to the movies, so I'm happy. Plus I'm going swimmin later while I'm babysitting. And this weekend he wants to go to the Adventure Dome for a while. Okay, where was I? Oh yes:

Jewelery - as I said she's very curious. If I take my engagement ring off and put it on the bed and she's out running around, I have to find her before I can put it back on cause she takes it and chews on the band. I thought that was funny.

Ribbons - today I wore a shirt that's kinda.... "kinky" I guess you could say. It's really tight, black, laces up the front, catches your attention kinda shirt. Well, anywho... we were laying on the bed and she was running around. How I lay on my side, she likes to hide under my arm. Well, the ribbons were hanging down in front of her a bit and she apparently saw them. She took one of the ends and started pulling on it. I didn't even realize it till she'd already untied it and was almost pulling it out some. I couldn't help but laugh... she looked like she was trying to fight it. And when I tried to get it back so I could retie it she started this kinda tug-a-war thing. It was funny. Okay, well that's pretty much all that's new, so I guess I'll go and see if time speeds up any since it's almost 6am and I'm still not tired.

Love,
<3Monkey

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

Well, where to begin? It's been forever since I've updated - my mom got me hooked on this game site (Pogo.com) and I haven't been doing much more than that when I get online now. But I figured I'd swing by and see how my nutang's holding up. Obviously a bit has gone on since the last time I updated & I'm trying to determine how far back I can go without boring anyone with mindless rambling. Well my birthday was nothing very special - yay me! I'm 16 now!!! And that brought my sister out to visit once again - and we went to the Adventure Dome for one of the days she was here. I'm still in shock from that because my mom went on the roller coaster as well and that's like a death leap for her. But just the week after started testing/ final exams. I swear it doesn't feel like summer. That week went too quick. That whole school year went too quick. I spent days crying because Candice and Danny were to leave us once the year closed. And yes by Danny I mean my ex who crushed me so my freshman year. The week of testing flew by and I didn't get all of my farewells in to those who, though not graduating, will not be returning next year. Those who were graduating I would see the following week, so I wasn't stressing over finding them. And those who I would only be kept from over the summer never seemed to appear so I could get in one last goodbye for the next few months. I'd gotten a rat as well - a bit before school ended. She was kept secretly in a box in my room so my mother wouldn't find out. Sunday (the day before graduation) I ended up sick & in bed all day... which sucked. Monday I awoke and let Nibbles (the rat) out onto my bed as usual, and went to get into the shower. When I came out I discovered that she had died in the half hour I'd been gone, so my day started off pretty bad. We got to the graduation a bit late, I felt like I was going to pass out in the car cause I forgot to bring water, I cried through every speech that was made by one of my peers (especially Kathy's). The graduation ceremony - handing out the diplomas and turning of the tassles did nothing to my tear ducts. Afterward saying my goodbyes to those who succeeded I was simply smiles and hugs. Yet, while waiting for our ride to show up we said our final farewells to Danny and Candice and I cried for almost an hour between the time they left and the time we got back to Anthony's house. We went back to the same place for another graduation (Anthony's cousin's) two days later and that night at dinner I tried sushi. It's actually pretty good. It's not really chewy and slimey like I'd expected. Since then nothing much has happened. Sometime between today and Saturday we're going out to get another rat though - this one's going to be kept in a luxury cage over at Anthony's house; hopefully she doesn't pass as well. I spent a few hours last night fighting with some bitch because she doesn't like that me and Anthony are together cause I'm not okay with her. She thinks that they're really good friends or some shit, and he even told me he was only ever nice to her cause she was with his best friend. I think that's the main reason that a lot of us were nice to her. But now they're not together anymore and she's realizing that no one really likes her. Unfortunately I was the one she decided to question. From what she said I was so pissed I was shivering and my eyes were crystal blue. Those who know me really well (mostly those who know me from middle school chorus) know that that's really fucking hard to do. Well....... that's the basics of the past month and a half --- the first half of May was really nothing special at all, so I'll waste no time on it. I'll try to update a bit more often to keep the few of you who care filled in. Love Ya! <3

Another one of the World's Pawns,
Singe de Minuit

Comment! (2) | Recommend!

I dream again... but I don't know what to make of it. It's a strong dream, I know that. But I hardly have an idea of what it was about once I've woken up. It's strange... it's confusing.

Comment! (2) | Recommend!

yesssssss! It finally came to me!!! I know what I want it to me now. I think I put an entry on here describing the first tatoo (and probably most painful one) that I wanna get; the {extremely detailed} cross for my dad on my right side. Well I finally know what I wanna get as my back-piece, or at least the basic layout of it. I want a pheonix. Its head on my right shoulder and it's tail in the left {bottom} corner of my back - in the shape of an S. Beneath it I want blue-green flames reaching up towards the bird; as a pheonix bursts into flame to die and is reborn from its ashes. The shape of the pheonix (the S) stands for my survival. The story of the pheonix will show how I've helped myself to change from how I was not even a year ago, and how I've been {pretty much} reborn as myself. The flames being blue-green, as opposed to the usual red/ orange/ yellow flames, show the uniquness of my recovery and the {actually} quickness in which I forced my recovery. I think it'll look really nice. I can't wait. I'm going to try to talk my mom into letting me on my seventeenth birthday as by then I probably have admitted to her about my lip ring.

------ Do you think the tatoo will look okay?

Monkey

Comment! (1) | Recommend!