"You were my first and only love."

I just blinked a couple times, fumbling around in my head for something to say back. Something. Something. Anything! Nothing. "Oh.. really..?"

"Yeah.."

"But it's been 2 years since-- and me, I've changed... I'm sure you have too.."

"I'm not talking about now. Back then, I loved you, I know I did, and I just never.. stopped. I thought about you a lot, you know, but I thought you hated me for, well, leaving."

"I..." couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was ridiculous. "...never hated you. I mean, I understood why you had to leave, it's not like it was your choice.."

"I know that now."

"Yeah... well, when you-- if you come back to Davie, we'll see.. what happens."

Robert might be coming back to my school. He really wants to. I really want him to. But he's scared of approaching his mom and telling her he wants to leave her and his siblings to go live with his dad... but he really wants to, and it'd be a lot better for him, and I.. really want him to.

But.. it's weird, that he says he loves me, because I've changed so much in the past two years. What if I disappoint him now? I don't know.

On a different note, basic school shit has been happening. I have good grades, all A's and B's and one C in chemistry but that's going to be a B soon so sucks to that.

Last saturday we went to school to "paint your path." Basically, each club painted a chunk of sidewalk at school. Naturally ours was the best considering, well, we're Art Club. Here's a picture of the finished product, that the rain efficiently ruined the next day. We spend nearly four hours on it. For nothing. Fuck.

Oh well.

I just finished a chem lab report. I did a helluva good job if I may say so myself, so I'm really hoping I get good marks on it.

Not much to say... sorry I've been neglecting you all, I've just been busy. Always tired but always having so much to do. I'll try to keep up more.

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I know I've been neglecting my NuTang horribly, but a lot has been going on. However, the most interesting of this lot has been contact with this guy, Robert. He was my first ever boyfriend, only we were in like 6th or 7th grade at the time so it's not like we were really going out in any other way but the title.

Though even after we "broke up," we remained pretty tight friends until he left the county towards the middle of the 8th grade. I remember crying. It sucked.

Anyways, he's been trying to contact me for some time and he finally got ahold of me through this chick who knows my sister. So I've been talking to him pretty much all day trying to catch up the past 2+ years, but something tells me we'll need more than a day.

However, we have time, because we exchanged myspaces, phone numbers, email addresses, and MSN screennames. Something tells me we'll be talking a lot.

Anyways, I have to sleep now, but I promise I'll make a full update sometime soon.

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You guys!

I have so much to tell you. However I have an AP Psychology paper to write and chem homework to do first, but it'll come eventually!

What I need to update you all on:
1. What happened last saturday.
2. What will happen this saturday.
3. The real reason Kyle suddenly thought "we'd make better friends."
4. Random other information that isn't nearly as exciting.

Look forward to it.

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I think my weird Kyle dream had the opposite affect on me than it was supposed to.

He annoys me now. In lunch, everytime he said something, I was entirely uninterested and found myself trying to hold back an eye-roll.

Perhaps its the way he is so obsessed with making himself out to be this huge apathetic asshole when I know he's not really like that. Okay, I like being teased, but when all someone does is relentlessly mock you and then makes a point of pointing out that's all he does, it gets really old really fast.

He even once said to me that he was an asshole to people just so they'd see him like that. But that was when he actually had a soul. Dumbass.

On a different note, I saw Mr. Santana today during a firedrill (I hate the first couple weeks of school) and of course we immediately starting ranting on about the fact I'm in Creative Writing 3 and Mr. Kiger (the teacher of said class) and such.

I told Mr. Santana that Kiger has ADD (I didn't think it would be so appropriate to mention my actual theory, that he's on drugs) and explained the sock incident. Which I don't think I told you guys, so anyways.

We're sitting in Creative Writing the first day of class and he had finished explaining the contents of the class and whatnot so he asks if anyone has any questions. My friend Tricia raised her hand and about three words into her question he pulls his leg into the air and exclaims, "You guys like my orange socks?!"

Of course, that's not all that lead to my druggie theory. He has had many equivalent outbursts. But that's not it either. One day he was telling us about some of his writing habits and he mentions, "Sometimes I get really hyped up on.. caffeine, and write right through that buzz, then I revise when I come down."

After which I said, "Sure, caffeine," loud enough for this guy, Richard, to overhear. Thus sparked what would inevitably become countless classes of neglecting our writing to engage each other. He's pretty cool and he laughs at the same dumb things I do, hah. Plus he's got the mind of a writer, squee!

Speaking of new people, today I took the liberty of talking to this new kid on my bus. His name was Jorge (I think). He was pretty cool too, and it turns out he lives down the street from me. He had previously gone to our local school before switching to my school, he has a sister in college, and he's incredibly smart. And polite, oddly enough.

His house is closer to the bus stop than mine, so when we had to part he smiled at me and was all, "It was nice to meet you."

This, of course, took me by surprise 'cause you don't hear stuff that like very often anymore, so I managed out a, "Oh, yeah, you too."

I've also been trying to get this new kid, Jeremy, to talk to me more. He's new to the school too, so he's pretty much staying relatively quiet, but I'm determined to break him out of his shell. Considering he's in 3 or 4 of my classes, I think I'll manage. And I know he has the same lunch as me because we have the same second period, so maybe I'll get him to come sit with us.

So walking to my bus today I saw him and we smiled at each other, so I was like, "Hey!" with an attached giant grin, and he responded with the most adorable shy smile and a, "Hi." It was so cute.

This year is pretty awesome. I've gotten all good classes and I'm getting closer to a lot of new people.

Anyways, I experienced one of those amazing moments that makes you love life a little today. My locker is pretty jammed with shit at the moment, so my History book ended up being stuck in there. So, seeing as I'm locker-challenged, I just sat there for a couple minutes trying to yank it out of the corner from different angles until I heard laughter from behind me.

I turn around and Danny is leaning against the wall directly across from where I'm fighting with my locker. Immediately after seeing him, I buried my face in my jacket partially out of embarassment and partially out of the fact I have a habbit of hiding my face when I smile.

"How long have you been there?!" I demanded as he walked up to my locker to help me get my book.

"Basically the whole time," he said, still laughing at me. Then he started mocking how I looked trying different angles of my locker, of course resulting in me laughing to a point of tears.

At which point, Casey (from Biology last year) walks by and sees me laughing like that and starts laughing too, shaking his head at me. So I go (when I could manage words), "Bring back memories, Casey?" because in Bio last year he was always making me hysterically crack up.

He just kept laughing and nodded as he walked to class.

Meanwhile Danny (seeing as he actually has common sense) had removed my History book for me by pulling out my Psych binder for a second.

I don't know why, but it was just one of those truly amazing moments. It made my day. Which was needed, because the night prior I had decided to make myself a Hot Pocket for dinner and ended up brutally burning my lip to a point where a chunk of skin got ripped off. I now have a hideous blotch on my lip. Eh.

No worries though, my dad said it would heal in about, hm, 10 days.

Gack.

Speaking of which, how sad is this: I burnt my lip yesterday, everyone has known what happened and seen it and commented on it, then I saw my dad for a couple minutes today before he went to work and he asks me what happened to my lip.

I actually see so little of my father despite the fact we live in the same house that he was the last to see I was damaged.

Double gack.

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