"Due to rights restrictions, this part of the programme is currently unavailable"

ARGH. Now that Singtel and Starhub have split the football pie between them (Oh the wonders of deregulation and competition!) where can we find a cheap fix now?

Online's not an option - the authorities have been pretty successful in cracking down on free streams. So, have to be contented with previews and reviews on the BBC.

They only have the rights to showcase that cricket matches that are played in England. Even that option is gone now that the Ashes and ODIs have ended. No more quick fix over the internet.

Then again, even World Service programming is far superior compared to the ones we have locally. There are even cases of DJs getting the sack apparently because they aren't American enough - that has totally turned me off local radio, bar the occasional Morning Express on Class 95.

Had long days for the past two days. Currently stuck on BBC 6 Music while 5live and sports extra showcase the footie.

What I would give to be living in England man. Maybe that's why I prefer going there over the US if given the choice (If I'm that lucky and able, that is).

Back to doing more Maths. Yawns.

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As I left the hustle and bustle behind, I know for certain one thing - it is not my time anymore. It has been so long, and it feels alien just to be there. I smiled when I see the kids indulge in their youthfulness and adolescence. The unbridled joy - the full range of emotions on show just kept reminding me of the past that could have been. It made me yearn to be one of them again, unburdened by whatever trivial things; being able to enjoy life as it presents itself, one day at a time, with friends that will last.

I was a fool. The price I had to pay was to forfeit all friendships that could have been. I thought I was indispensable. Ha. What a fallacy that was. Stubborn fool indeed.

The reality really hit home when I saw him along the level 2 walkway earlier in the evening. We said hi - and proceeded to search each others' face for something to talk about. There was none. And we just parted ways. A tinge of regret hit me instantly. That's just a microcosm of how far things have deteriorated.

Sarah told me that she had left her past behind her. I should too. Yet there is still a part of me that fears the same old story will happen once again when we graduate.

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Many things made headlines today. On the Chinese papers everyone was going ga-ga at the so-called 'wedding of the year' between Fann Wong and Chris Lee (both of Return of the Condor Heroes fame and he of drink-driving notoriety). The English papers were spammed with articles on how Miss Singapore World Ris Low stepped down after a series of laughable debacles and the uncovering of her not-so-innocent past. *boomz*.

On the world front, much maligned British PM Gordon Brown has come out fighting at the Labour conference in Brighton, earning rapturous applause just mere seconds into his speech; Germany is likely to get a gay foreign minister now the the Free Democrats are partnering Mrs Merkel's CDU in government. Police fired at 50,000 opposition demonstrators in Guinea turning it into a bloodbath with over 150 dead. Oh, and there has been "concentric circles resulting in little squiggly lines caused by human-like shapes hitting that long green skinny one down there" both in Samoa and Sumatra. And is the caste system in India a violation of human rights? That was up for discussion on World Service yesterday.



Today the 1050 students of HCI (College) got back their GP scripts today. With the highest mark at a humble 32/50, it was a day to forget for many. We managed to summon the Tsar of the English Dep't Dr Robert Wilks (who is a great man in his own right - author of GP Matters, Word Power, The Right Word and other GP related resources easily available at a bookshop near you - who has resided in HCI for the best part of a decade or two) to exhort us to bear more fruit in the actual exams. For we were the most atrocious batch he had ever seen from HC, and he only shows up when the going gets tough (i.e. when the teachers are all at a loss on how to whip us into shape).

(Naturally during his speech we were all amazed at the wide range of words he used. And his pronunciation was so exquisite, it would have put Ris Low to shame - Ok he's much better than that).

So I'm a freaking noob.



3.5/16 for AQ and Summary. I totally owned myself (Then again how do you own yourself?) I'm hard-pressed to find anyone with lower marks than this. I knew it at that instant my total wasn't good - it was rubbish. The mere saving grace was that there was a '2' in front. Highest in class is 26. The rest averaged 22, 23. So we now officially have a tendency to self-destruct in major exams (after Shyam-gate last year).

We went to take out our feelings on each other at the LAN shop after school, and continued over DOTA at night. Sy, William and I hacked and slashed our woes away on the clueless A.I. T'was it will only be but temporary relief, like Panadol or Strepsils. It made us all drunk with exhilaration, indulging in the sweet aroma of double-kills and triple-kills, thrusting aside the ignominy of suffering our worst results for GP ever (if it was William it would be EVARRR~)


sY the pro owned again as usual. =D

Ok, maybe I should take O'Level English again since I can write narratives better than summaries and about whether children should have legal rights.

Maybe I'm just venting my frustration at myself with this post.
Perhaps I should have read more, asked for another piece of paper to draft the summary.
Or rather, I'd paraphrased so much that it went out of point.
Likewise.. I could have bought my refill earlier so that I did not have to change pens 3 times during the paper.

Its the last GP paper I'll ever do in HC. And to end it all off on a lousy note. It seems like everything I've been taught was a waste. From the highs to this.. score that would have made Ris Low proud. (Sorry, couldn't resist that one).

On the 1st of October, which is tomorrow, the 1050 chosen ones will be handed their essay scripts back. They will be sorted out into groups and thus judgement will be passed that very same instant by the higher power. Whether the believers could ascend to cloud nine or else be sunk to the pits of despair lies in the hands of the tutors. What would be the end result? How many of them would lose a sister, a brother or a friend to Thor's hammer/Zeus' bolts/William's singing (just kidding) or whatever similar imagery? Would they be able to scrape passes and save their butts? Stay tuned...

I feel like a loser for failing GP.
Yet we mustn't give up! (: I doubt my other subjects would give me much to cheer about though. Haha!

42 days to GP A's. 4-6 more GP lessons. Let's all do our best (: And make our parents, tutors, the Tsar and the school proud. So that he doesn't have to use 'The Scream' to depict our results next March (:

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I was down with quite a bad sore throat, flu and fever at a most inopportune time - the last day of exams, resulting in me not being able to fully indulge in the overbearing feeling of relief and gladness after an exam period that lasted for 4 weeks.

Struggled throughout the paper as my train of thought was constantly disrupted by coughing, wheezing and grabbing a 3-ply tissue from the two packets that Judy so nicely lent me. Those two packs would have gone for 67 cents elsewhere going by the unofficial market rate of 3 for 1 dollar.

As such I had only shaded 24/40 questions when time was up after leaving a few blanks here and there. Brain not working properly enough to do the ionic equilibria questions. What a bummer =/ Thankfully Mrs Lee pretended/genuinely did not see me desperately shading like a possessed freak while she was collecting. Was quite lucky that this paper was conducted in a classroom.

The few of us went to Wisma's Food Republic for lunch. Was quite uneventful - except when an uncle called tpy "crazy fool" in Chinese when he screamed from the other side of the road after we abandoned him by going the other way. Hai.

Had a good rest at home (: Feeling much better now.
Jtay said we should have a class outing soon, an idea which I seconded. We couldn't come to a common consensus though - maybe Marina Barrage is a good idea.

Received an invitation from the Navy to.. well, join the Navy. Can't imagine myself in that though. *Cue a few sniggers all round*

Lobsters are nice =P Just don't let them snip at you with their pincers. Haha.

Getting back GP later. Maybe the following video will help in revision =D

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I am now blogging from the school library, where just typing alone is unusually noisy and potentially disruptive to the people around me

(This keyboard is just plain noisy and irritating, coupled with the fact that my typing speed is annoyingly slow (typing with both hands is a skill that I could never master, alongside stuff like hand-whistling and touching your index finger with your pinky over the back of the two fingers in between.)

(And the people who had been mugging around me are now back after a break. Hope this doesn't irritate them.)

Granted, the library is pretty deserted at this point in time. Maybe its due to Prelim fever having wound down somewhat, or we can hypothesize that 'the number of muggers mugging in the library following a normal distribution' as n is large.. Or maybe the figures will just rise back to its peak after we get back papers (after next week) a la the J-curve effect.

I am currently trying to while away time while waiting for our quintet rehearsal to start at 4 as Redlight is now having lessons, and later a CT session with representative from the 3 local universities.

Speaking of universities.. I decided to put that though on hold after I had been traumatised thoroughly by the sight of our tutors smiling as they slaughtered us to a man [the CRPs and smart ones probably got saved due to their superior power (Work done/time) and Intellect (they are probably magicians in Maplestory)] <- and why does square brackets remind me of maths and the rather screwed Paper 2?

May the markers awaiting Christmas, snow and winter holidays at the University of Cambridge have mercy on us.

'Screwed' is such an overused word in this blog - so much so that it has lost its impact.

(And now I'm alone in my section of the library. I wonder why..)

If you had seen my recent Twitter update and wondered why the sudden reference to Gaddafi and Swine Flu in the same sentence, I was on 5live while studying and realised that the Colonel was making a rather interesting speech to the UN General Assembly. While most are focused on reducing nuclear arms and on Iran, and Obama's maiden speech, he was more intent on lashing out at the UN "Terror Council", tearing the charter and on random conspiratory theories on the origins of swine flu. A true maverick indeed. He, JI Kim and Mahmoud A. can be brothers. May not really be the axis of evil but certainly the axis of quirkiness and eccentricities.

Granted, some of the points he made are actually rather apt (like the unprecedented power of the Security Council as well as the perceived inequality in the UN). Yet his outlandish style and flair don't do much to enhance his credibility.

Here's the speech - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/8272330.stm

And its now 3 plus. Getting ready to warm up somewhere (maybe the terraces or else the people in the Audi will be irritated by the noise/sound I make.) Whee. Oh, as well as waiting for a welcome distraction from people stuck in bomb shelters. (:

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Today was supposed to be the second day of a long weekend. Yet I've done nothing of note in the past 2 days.

Instead I was fixed to BBC Radio 5 Live Sports Extra (again..) as England played Australia in the final One Day International as they seek to avoid a 7-0 series whitewash. It was very entertaining, and everyone was quite surprised that England managed to restrict the Aussies to 176-all out and managed to scrape a win with 4 wickets to spare.

Shortly after was the Manchester derby, where the red half downed the blue upstarts with a late goal 6 minutes into the 4 minutes of added time (No, you didn't hear it wrong). Nonetheless, its a 4-3 win for the Red Devils, and a massive shot of confidence (though the defence was atrocious).

Man Utd boss Sir Alex Ferguson: We gave three goals away today. It could have been an embarrassment - we could have won 6-0 or 7-0 today. But in the end we still we won one of the best Manchester derbies. We have a neighbour, and sometimes neighbours are noisy, but we showed our power today and we get on with life.

Not very humble eh, but who can blame him after all the mind games and war of words over the past week.

Oh, and I went for MAF on Saturday. Full post will be up as soon as Jtay uploads the photos on Facebook/anywhere else. Haha. (My camera ran out of batteries after 3 photos. I knew I should have brought the GC along.. to act as a source of batteries).

BBC World Service ftw! (: Its on 88.9FM in SG. Find out more here
.

And its a holiday in-lieu today. Better get down to doing some serious work - namely Physics and Maths. (Seems like we're one of the laggers still having Prelims) =/

Something to entertain you guys.. Ms Cheong said I had a fetish wit Kim Jong Il. So..





The Onion ftw! (: Been watching them for nights on end. Maybe that's why I did do well for the papers. I'm getting ready to blame this and Twilight. (Ok, joking!) Haha.

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Wow, two updates in a row. I must really be quite sick of Maths/Chem/Physics. I did not find Maths 'surprising managable' (: LOL. Its more of.. 'unsurprising unmanagable'.

A big shout of 'thank you' to Tiantian who gave me my present on Monday (: Happy belated birthday to her too! xD

And then I realised that some people never wished me at all.
I guess someone should know who they are.
They are the ones.. that I had scared away or scarred.
The people that I can never look straight in the eye ever

=/

That's what happens when you are immature and commit to things rashly. That's what happens when you lack self-control, long-suffering and sensitivity.. like a newborn vampire only paying heed to its own thirst.
Its not good to let your heart rule all the time.

And somewhere deep within, the pain still stabs as the fires rage on - unable to destroy every regret, every action, every hurt I'd caused others.

The haze must be getting to me. Here I smell it again >.<
Time to move on. Maybe they just forgot. I think I can live with that. Haha.

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I was quite surprised as I woke up just now to find myself tagged in a note.. by Alena! (: It was an interesting post about 'The Tale of the Crucified Crook' by Max Lucado, and I felt led to post it here (:

***

The Tale of the Crucified Crook
('No Wonder They Call Him The Saviour', by Max Lucado)

�I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.� - Luke 23:43

We create false value systems. We say that you are valuable if you can produce. We say that you are valuable if you can slam-dunk a basketball or snag a pop fly. You are valuable if your name has a �Dr.� in front of it or a Ph.D. on the end of it. You are valuable if you have a six-figure salary and drive a foreign car.

Now please understand, this is man�s value system. It is not God�s. His plan is much brighter. God, with eyes twinkling, steps up to the philosopher�s blackboard, erases the never-ending, never-repeating circle of history and replaces it with a line; a hopefilled, promising, slender line. And, looking over his shoulder to see if the class is watching, he draws an arrow on the end.

In God�s book man is headed somewhere. He has an amazing destiny. We are being prepared to walk down the church aisle and become the bride of Jesus. We are going to live with him. Share the throne with him. Reign with him. We count. We are valuable. And what�s more, our worth is built in! Our value is inborn.

You see, if there was anything that Jesus wanted everyone to understand it was this: A person is worth something simply because he is a person. That is why he treated people like he did. Think about it. The girl caught making undercover thunder with someone she shouldn�t � he forgave her. The untouchable leper who asked for cleansing � he touched him. And the blind welfare case that cluttered the roadside � he honoured him. And the worn-out old windbag addicted to self-pity near the pool of Siloam � he healed him!

And don�t forget the classic case study on the value of a person by Luke. It is called �The Tale of the Crucified Crook�. If anyone was every worthless, this one was. If any man ever deserved dying, this man probably did. If any fellow was ever a loser, this fellow was at the top of the list. Perhaps that is why Jesus chose him to show us what he thinks of the human race.

�Any chance that you could put in a good word for me?�
�Consider it done.�

Now why did Jesus do that? What in the world did he have to gain by promising this desperado a place of honour at the banquet table? What in the world could this chiseling quisling ever offer in return? I mean, the Samaritan woman I can understand � she could go back and tell the tale. And Zacchaeus had some money that he could give. But this guy? What is he going to do? Nothing!

That�s the point. Listen closely. Jesus� love does not depend upon what we do for him. Not at all. In the eyes of the King, you have value simply because you are. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are. Remember that the next time you are left bobbing in the wake of someone�s steamboat ambition. Remember that the next time some trickster tries to hang a bargain basement price tag on your self-worth. The next time someone tries to pass you off as a cheap buy, just think about the way Jesus honours you, and smile :)

I do. I smile because I know I don�t deserve love like that. None of us do. When you get right down to it, any contribution that any of us make is pretty puny. All of us � even the purest of us � deserve heaven about as much as that crook did. All of us are signing on Jesus� credit card, not ours.

And it also makes me smile to think that there is a grinning ex-con walking the golden streets who knows more about grace than a thousand theologians. No one else would have given him a prayer. But in the end that is all that he had. And in the end, that is all it took.

No wonder they call Him the Saviour.

***

Inspiring right? Haha. His grace indeed surpasses all boundaries. (:

Yet we cannot demean it to such an extent that it becomes 'cheap', or undervalued.

In the German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer's The Cost of Discipleship he defines 'cheap grace as 'the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline. Communion without confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ'.

I was reading comments on Youtube and it struck me at how fractured the Christian community still is, even amongst the megachurches. And one of them is about certain NCC members getting upset over Pst Kong preaching against 'cheap grace' and felt that he had alluded to them. Oh, and that he's 'jealous because Pst Prince seems to be more anointed than him'.

My jaw dropped in surprise. How do you measure anointing? Material things like size of congregation, or even the assets? Certainly not! 'Revelations'?

I have friends who are members of NCC, including some who had attended CHC. I'm not accusing NCC of anything as I'm not in any position to do so. I just feel that partaking in mudslinging will not do them any good - it makes them look immature. Hard-selling by direct condemnation will not sway anyone, just like how open street witnessing is unlikely to win many converts.

And then inevitably some disgruntled NCC members who are sort of pissed at Pst Kong's opposition to cheap grace 'by a Singaporean pastor' have to bring in the whole 'China Wine' boo-hah to slam the church.

Seriously, I cannot see what's wrong with the video. It doesn't even look racy to me - it looks like an ordinary music video. Even if Sun was a part of it which led to them saying it 'cheapens Christianity'. How ironic.. She's in the business of impacting culture and winning it back to Christ, of course she has to fit in to be able to influence artistes and audiences, just look at Daniel and the Babylonians.

So can I guess that NCC members did not know/attend the recent Festival of Praise? Since its Executive Director's a certain 'Kong Hee'. Haha.

Ok its 7am in the morning. I hope the haze isn't so bad today. More dry weather predicted over Sumatra. Perfect conditions for forest fires to rage out of control.

Here's hoping that the online furore will not follow suit as well.

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