YES! Today was fun. (and Ash... Gir is a character from Invader Zim) I got to see all my friends, and i walked to school w/ Kitty (Jen) again. When we got to school I was happy to see/hear Chris calling after me & walking w/ Erik. It's nice to wake up w/ a kiss... cause I'm never really awake until I get to school. However, tho he's alive Erik did attempt over the weekend -tear-. He said he'd been to the hospital ~> he lost too much blood. (he took in 2 bags) I feel really bad now, I freaked out and almost started crying over it durring Biology *second period* and Mr. Cooper sent me to the counselor. She told me she can't do anything about it... cause I don't know his last name or any of his schedule. DAMNIT! Erik just doesn't understand... yea, i might not wanna be in a relationship w/ him; but that doesn't mean I don't care about him at all. Right? Well I've tried telling him that, obviously he didn't understand. O yea, and my let-out... the whole me & Alex thing, I'm actually Alexa. I just wanted to be able to write whatever w/o certain ppl knowing so I created Alexa. The private entry that's in, I think, my second page on dkzmonkey gives it all away... the password is midnightmonkey. I don't know what else to put but: Erik if you're reading this know that I do care about you, and that I do love you. Maybe not the same as you love me, but love all the same. For you to go I'd be depressed beyond all reason, even the thought of it upsets me. Going to sleep not sure if you'll be alive the next day when I wake up, or when I get to school brings me to crying myself to sleep. I know that a lot of people have told me not to worry, that you won't go that far... but I won't underestimate you. Piercing deep into my heart is the pain of knowing that I really did ruin your life, and that you have come very close to your target; death. I just hope you do read this, cause I don't really have any way of getting through to you anymore... so I hope you read this and you understand that all of it is true.

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Yeah, another boring-as-hell weekend entry. I haven't done anything today xcept my homework, and right now i'm talking to Mike, Bryi, and Justin. The special thing about this weekend enrty is... GIR!!! He's the most awesomest cartoon character ever! Well at least one of the most awesomest. Today is a bad day for me, I gotz some sort of a stomache flu thing... and i feel like i'm about to puke . I really hope I get better by 2morrow, cause i don't wanna stay home. I wanna see Chris and Steph and everyone else... I also wanna make sure Erik's still alive, all the stuff he said Friday after school I'm really worried . Well I'm gonna go & look around some websitez a bit b4 I've gotz ta get off. <3 Monkey ((hugs)) ......... o yea! I have just one last thought/question-ish thing for all of the guys that might be reading this ~> and now a question for everyone/anyone who's reading this ~>

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Yes... another rainy & cold day. Only today the rain was fun, especially @ lunch. I wasn't hanging out w/ the usual group... I was w/ Chris (and yes, we're going out now), Laryna, Armondo, Krystal, and a couple other ppl. Well Chris decided it'd be fun to pick me up and bring me out into the rain and start a water fight w/ me... so what'd i do? ... I got my water bottle and chased after him in the rain. I'm really glad that I'm w/ him now, I just hope ppl don't think that I broke up w/ Seth just to be w/ Chris. But after school it turned into Hell, cause walking home from school Erik told me that I ruined his life and that he hopes I'm happy. Also that he hopes the rest of my life is good, and that he's bringing his to an end. I dunno if he's serious or not, I really hope he isn't... I dunno what I'd do if one of my friends committed suicide; especially one I'm as close to as I am to him. So life's great and it really really sux at the same time. Well I'm gonna go... gotta start gettin ready to go out. My sis is takin me out to the movies soon. Love, Monkey

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Ok, I settled my "problem." I broke up w/ Seth today after school... i couldn't actually do it so I gave him a note. I also found out today that my crush since a couple weeks after school first started likes me. ((hugs Chris)) And came back to school w/ all intentions of asking me out. He also told me that if I want... the offer's always open (unless he's got a gf). I'm not sure if I'm gonna take the offer, but I really want to. I'm g2g, night. ((hugs)) <3 Monkey

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i hate this!!! I'm so confused right now. The whole thing w/ Seth is really weird -> I just don't feel like I should be w/ him... but i'd feel really bad tellin him that when we've only been going out for 2 days. I guess it's cause we were so close when he asked me out, that's why i still feel like we're still just friends. I just don't know what I should do. And I was supposed to go to the wrestling match @ 6, but we were eating dinner so I couldn't.

On a different note... I'm mad at Ryan now (kinda). He told Seth a lot of the stuff that him 'n I did. And Chris was back today!!! -smiles- I missed him. I had told him what I had heard @ lunch the first day that he was gone... about him trying to kill himself and he said "Nah, you don't have to worry about that. Haven't I told you it's almost impossible for me to die? You can just consider me back from the dead." It's kewl that he's back, it just really sux that he's probably gonna be transfering schools. I don't want him to go -tear- I'd really miss him. And I think I bruised my wrist bone @ pe when I was playing volleyball. It hurts really bad... I'm never playing w/ my jewelry on again. I'm g2g for now. Nitez.((hugs)) <3 Monkey O... and don't ask. My banana man's kewlionessful!

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