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Mini Me Mod


jinyu
Age. 37
Gender. Female
Ethnicity.
Location Denver, CO
School. Other
» More info.
Sprocket's Training Milestones
Came home (Aug 2, 2014)
Asked to go outside (Aug 5, 2014)
Slept 4 hours straight (night) (Aug 5-6, 2014)
Crane Count
7/3/13 - 8
7/4/13 - 30
7/5/13 - 36
7/10/13 - 54
7/11/13 - 57
7/18/13 - 67
2/17/14 - 83
(cumulative)
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Moon Mod!
CURRENT MOON
To Read:
- Carrie
- Dream of the Red Chamber
- Time to Kill
- Scent of the Missing
- Stiff
Nano mod!
Thailand
Thursday. 6.9.11 11:23 pm
There is a moment when you go to the large temple in Chaing Mai and turn left. You cross the white marble floors and over to the balcony that looks like something out of a Disney movie that you turn around and you see a little branch. On that branch will be little orange berries perfectly contrasted against the bright blue sky and you think to yourself, "God went overboard on this place".

My Thailand Trip so far:
Gnawed on by dogs
Attacked by ants
Helped mix cement
Talked about ESL
Helped with Homework
Visited Temple
Bought a Ton of Stuff at the Market

How are you today?
I am feeling like I just walked into zanzibar's garden and it all just does that naturally. Thailand is AWESOME

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What do you want to be when you grow up?
Friday. 5.27.11 9:19 pm
I've asked this question of myself and other people a lot over... well my whole life. As I sit here now, savoring my last days in Korea, it occurs to me that this is a rather silly question. I imagine there are some people who will ask me, "Did you always want to be an EFL teacher?" and I would have to say, "well... no". Go back a little ways in my resume and someone might ask, "Did you always want to draw people's dogs?" and I'd have to say, "Well... of course not, no." Then you dig a little deeper and you say, "Did you always want to make professional webpages" and I'll say double no to that one.

Maybe I will become a writer and then I can say, "Yeah, ever since I was a little girl", but I imagine that there are a whole lot of careers I'm going to fall in and out of besides that... and that suits me just fine.

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Nosiy Neighbors
Sunday. 5.22.11 4:25 am
So, I have these noisy neighbors and, I'm going to start out by saying that they've gotten a lot better. When I first moved in, they used to scream at each other and then have loud moaning sex every single night. And through... some passive aggressive knocking lightly on the ceiling on my part (no, not exactly proud of it either), they got the picture. The thing is that I can still hear them. I just hear these subtle little grunting now and these subtle tiffs raging overhead and... right about now I just want to get over it.

I mean, is there some kind of self-hypnotism that will allow me to stop hearing them? Or maybe I can give myself a cookie every time I hear them so I start feeling a sugar rush every time I hear it? It's just awful, because it's not like my neighbors aren't trying (you should have heard the week where they tried nailing stuff into the floor. That was a looong week.

Oh well, I only have two weeks left. Maybe I can run every appliance in my room until its time for me to go.

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I feel foggy today
Saturday. 5.21.11 12:18 am
The fog clouded the sky in a deep white in the way that it usually clouded the hills and the streets in my native western American. I was set up in it in my eighteenth floor apartment looking down into the beautiful and misty fog. I have always liked fog and foggy pictures. I was just talking to a friend of mine about how the fog rolling in and out of the bay was one of the most beautiful things that he had ever experience. When I was in college, I had a picture on my wall of a line of trees that petered out into fog.

To me it was a symbol of how I needed to be comfortable with the unknown and as the years great on and the poster never left my wall, I did just that: become more comfortable with the unknown. Now, the fog has lifted over my little Korean city, that place which has become so familiar to me in the recent months and I must let it go. The box of things I�m leaving behind looks like Christmas and I am waiting, waiting quietly for the day that I continue on into a new adventure. Till then.

-Me

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No Plans
Friday. 5.20.11 10:20 pm
My friends always tell me that I'm too much of a planner. Well, I'm leaving Korea in two weeks and I am growing to the conclusion that I need to drop any plans. I'm going to still work on my novel, when I get back, I'm going to talk to that friend of my moms, maybe I'll make flight arrangements for Bolivia, but I want to spend most of my time trying to figure out how to enjoy the precious seconds I am living through right now. Which means, although I do have to pack, I'm going to listen to awesome music, watch movies and listen to books on tape. It also means that when I do my laundry I'm going to permit myself to hum and that when I teach classes I will always find time to teach them the things I actually find interesting, like the relationships between houses and apartments and how talking like a computer relates to math.

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Postponed witty comebacks for all things righteous
Wednesday. 5.18.11 8:38 am
When I was... I can't remember, 8,9 or 10, I was sitting in a Fazolvi's, a cheap 'italian' restaurant that me and my family had never really frequented before. Everyone started talking about what they thought heaven was going to be like. As I heard it, a chill settled all over my skin and a flaming heat right over my bones. My heart seemed to clamp down on itself and my stomach started flashing green for "vomit". I threw up everything I ate, the meatballs swirling in the bottom of the toilet. I flushed the toilet and tried to think of pink fluffy bunnies until all of it went away.

Even now, I still can't help feeling this way whenever someone starts raging about 'the end'.

I was sitting in the car with my students when Ryan turns to me, firey and angry and asks me, "Do all animals die?"
"I suppose so," I replied.
"But we're animals," he said.
"Well, sort of," I amended. He was silent.
"Everything dies, Ryan," I said cautiously.
"Does that mean we're going to die?" he asked incredulously.
I looked him straight in the eye and thought about it. I didn't know any answers except the truth. I nodded.
He was very quiet for a while, but then a little while later, someone started up another conversation and it was over.

This Sunday, the speaker comes up, just as fired up as my little seven year old. He explains, like a petulant child, that he does not understand why people don't like talking about the end times. He said that if we truly believe what we believe, than we should welcome the coming of the Lord. Meanwhile, I was sitting in my little coffee table chair thinking, in incredulously overwrought biblese, "Has he no fear of GOD?!"

People keep saying that kind of stuff, in Christian music and in the haloed company of bible thumpers, I sit quietly and listen to them drone on about the 'glories of the day of the lord' and I just have to sit in awe at the arrogance... It's sort of like, "Oh, so you really think you're going?" And they pull out John 14:6 "Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'" and Ephesians 2:8 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God" as though those are suppose to be answers.

Nothing gets me more than people who spit verses out at me like ticker tape. Have they not read, Matthew 4? Even the Devil can quote scriptures. Have they not read about the wives who miss the bridegroom, or the servant who buries his gold in the sand? Or Haggai? Or any of the prophets? Have they not read about how God tears down cities and nations and even whole worlds? Oh, and you are supposed to tell me that you aren't afraid? You aren't afraid of the God who's face will kill anyone who sees it? GOD IS TERRIFYING!

At least that's what I think, but then again, maybe I'm "just afraid". Well how about THESE VERSES:

Pslams 2:11
Serve the LORD with fear and rejoice with trembling.

Proverbs 1:7
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

Proverbs 8:13
To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.

Proverbs 15:16
Better a little with the fear of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil.

Ecclesisates 7:16-18
Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise-- why destroy yourself? Do not be overwicked, and do not be a fool-- why die before your time? It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. The man who fears God will avoid all extremes.

And maybe for me?
Isaiah 8:12-13 Do not call conspiracy everything that these people call conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it. The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread,

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