Do you feel sorry for yourself?

I definitely do when I felt that I don't deserve to be receiving certain treatment from others or when i am having certain difficulties in life or when i felt that I deserve something better in life.. notice that all these feelings arise because of my comparison with others?

whenever i felt that way, i would lock myself up in the toilet and get on my knees to cry and talk to God about it... isn't it a act of cowardice to be doing that? a man crying and seeking help from above? I beg to differ... in fact, that's the problem with man... they don't know how to release their bad feelings in a normal way: to shed tears (oh come on... if man is not supposed to cry, we won't have tears gland to start with! :P) instead, they would turn to violence (to create a false strong front) or they would turn to beer (to drown all their sorrows and damage their liver!)

After my "lock-up" in the toilet, i am liberated... i will be able to put aside all the bitterness that arose from the unfairness in life and be contented with what i am currently having... sometimes, i would do this process of self-regulation in the park where the nature that God created has a soothing effect... :D

dwelling in self-pity for too long isn't a good thing... it will only make you sink further (like quicksand)... the more you do it, the faster you sink and no matter how hard you struggle, you will have more difficulties getting out of it! That's when some people just love to blame others and love to be pitied... even help from above will not do if we don't learn to let go...

next tuesday: let's talk about regrets...

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i enjoy the moment when people share their joy with me... here's a piece of good news that my graduated student cum physix rep texted me on my mobile yesterday evening:

Hiya mr chow! i would like to share my joy with u! :) I've got the 2nd place in the national student reporter competition organised by radion station FM 95.8! An interesting experience indeed... and now I'm also a student reporter under FM 95.8! An outstanding reporter, I think that's what i wanna be in the future. I'll try my very best! ;)

my reply:
Wow! Omg! I am so so happy for you! :) so glad that you won and so glad that you know what you wanna be! Thanks for sharing this wonderful news with me! :)

her reply:
No la, i should be the one thanking you, for being such a great teacher who has shaped me in all ways. It has been one of the most pleasant thing to be your student you know! and I am still a faithful reader of your blog! haha... a source of inspiration and motivation. From it, I got the courage to press on during the competition! :)

To all my students out there: if you have a piece of good news to share with me, please do! I would like to share it with the whole world if you are agreeable!! :D

To my student who was disappointed when the teams did not win anything in the competition: I am still very proud of you and I think that you have tremendous amount of potential to excel eventually in the area of debating! Don't lose heart! Learn from this setback to become even better! :D

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i was invited to be one of the "testers" by the different patrols in the girl guides in my school for their hosting badge... they are supposed to invite a teacher for a tea break and be hosts to their invited guest... that's me! :D

the invitation card was lovely, shaped as a 3 dimensional Egyptian pyramid and tied together by a silky string at the top. open it up and it showed the details of this afternoon's event.

the table was beautifully decorated with a yellow table top, with yellow plates (decorated like a sun) and small drinking glasses painted with sparkling paint of a pyramid and cactus. the cutlery were stored in a lovely box decorated like a miniature Egyptian coffin with the drawing of the mummy on top...

there were peanut butter sandwiches, egg burgers, banana and chocolate muffins and apple juice served to me by the lovely hostesses, who tried their best to make me feel at home.

the best part of the event came when we managed to strike up a conversation and talked about our interests and managed to know each other better... a further dicussion revealed that i was pretty "well known" among students as a caring teacher who loves teaching physix! :D

In fact, we enjoyed talking to each other so much that when i had to go, i realised that i was the only tester left to be still talking to them... it's really nice to be sitting down with students talking about things in life without any fear or front...

the thank you card was a lovely Egyptian mummy that is wrapped by a bandage and opens up to say a big thank you! for such an enjoyable experience, it's no wonder that i gave them a high score for their hosting experience! :D

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money? respect? encouragement? peaceful environment? appreciation? inspiration? purpose? time for ourselves?

i do need all of the above everyday but i realised through my children that they don't need the above as badly as an adult... from there, i realised that the fundamental and most important need for me or can i say people in general is this:

the human touch... a hug... that's it...

don't you realised how lacking that is as we grow older and especially among chinese or asians?

so this is what i would do everyday: i will always give my children a strong hug whenever i come home from work, peppered with kisses and the phrase "i love you!"

that's what they need the most each day (given my time constraint at work) and giving it to them allows me to receive it back as well... :D

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pul-chri-tude noun
meaning: beauty

beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. well, here's how beauty is defined through my eyes:

beauty surpasses the dimension of time as it has nothing to do with looks...
it has all to do with the heart...

i saw a beautiful heart in my wife, who is able to be so longsuffering towards me inspite of all my weaknesses...

i saw a beautiful heart in my little children, how readily they are able to forgive and forget...

i saw a beautiful heart in my little children, how they are able to laugh at their own mistakes, remains teachable and has the courage to admit that he/she has made a mistake...

i saw a beautiful heart in my mother, who is contented with the simple things in life...

i saw a beautiful heart in a teacher, who is able to look beyond the wrongs and see the hidden potential in the child, giving that child a second chance...

i saw a beautiful heart in one of my students, who is able to celebrate the victories of others as happily as if it was her...

i saw a beautiful heart in one of my students, who is still proud of his parents in front of others inspite of their low level of education and the less respectable jobs that they hold...

pulchritude... :D

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He was given the title of "Alexander the Great" for his swift and triumphant conquests in war but i think he deserve the title for the following life lesson that he offered before his death...

Alexander, after conquering many kingdoms, was returning home. On the
way, he fell ill and it took him to his death bed. With death staring
him in his face, Alexander realized how his conquests, his great army,
his sharp sword and all his wealth were of no consequence.

He now longed to reach home to see his mother's face and bid her his
last adieu. But, he had to accept the fact that his sinking health would
not permit Him to reach his distant homeland. So, The mighty conqueror
lay prostrate and pale, helplessly waiting to breathe his last. He
called his generals and said, "I will depart from this world soon, I
have three wishes, please carry them out without fail." With tears
flowing down Their cheeks, the generals agreed to abide by their king's
last wishes.

" My first desire is that," said Alexander, " My physicians alone must
carry my coffin." After a pause, he continued, " Secondly, I desire that
when my coffin is being carried to the grave, the path leading to the
graveyard be strewn with gold, silver and precious stones which I have
collected in my treasury." The king felt exhausted after saying this. He
took a minute's rest and continued. "My third and last wish is that both
my hands be kept dangling out of my coffin ."

The people who had gathered there wondered at the king's strange wishes.
But no one dare bring the question to their lips. Alexander's favorite
general kissed his hand and pressed them to his heart. " O king, we
assure you that your wishes will all be fulfilled. But tell us why do
you make such strange wishes?"

At this Alexander took a deep breath and said: " I would like the world
to know of the three lessons I have just learnt. I want my physicians to
carry my coffin because people should realize that no doctor can really
cure any body .They are powerless and cannot save a person from the
clutches of death. So let not people take life for granted. The second
wish of strewing gold, silver and other riches on the way to the
graveyard is to tell people that not even a fraction of gold will come
with me. I spent all my life earning riches but cannot take anything
with me. Let people realize that it is a sheer waste of time to chase
wealth.And about my third wish of having my hands dangling out of the
coffin, I wish people to know that I came empty handed into this world
and empty handed I go out of this world ."

With these words, the king closed his eyes. Soon he let death conquer
him and breathed his last. . . .

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