did not have her baby. she came home and was at work today. she is so stubborn. the doctor said if she doesn't have it by next friday on her own, he's gonna start her, so i will definetley have another nephew by next friday or saturday. then ryan kendall will stop asking me, "hey did your sister pop yet?" haha

oh, i couldn't take Lindz O's advice. i want to, but i can't for some reason. but man, that boy is just.. precious. aw, and someone told her about us and said that they think it's so cute, and i want to know who told her that!! we're not going out or anything, we're just.. haha, very obvious with each other without actually saying it. in our memoir project for english, he's making a topic all about me. i'm glad he considers me a part of his life. he's a sweety.

nothing else happened today.. other than i cried in english because he and jeff made me laugh so bad, and he's like, "oh my gosh i can't believe i'm witnessing you crying" and then summer told him that i do actually cry sad tears sometimes and he looked at me like summer was crazy, but he gave me this look that was kind of an, "i like it." look. oh i dunno, he's just great. someday. someday i will take Lindz O's advice.

sleep deprivation due to a pregnant sister that keeps calling you is bad. i'm going to take a nap.

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i'm sorry that i have this layout now too, but looking at your page made me miss it. don't worry, i never keep layouts long, so this will probably be gone within a week.

anyway, i feel accomplished. i am on chapter 22 of a book we are supposed to be on chapter 6 or something in. it's a very good book. everyone should read it. Something Wicked This Way Comes. borrow it, or something. it's neat.

oohhhhh god, everytime i see him i just want to melt. i can't even describe it. i could stare at him forever and just.. DAMN. he walked by today and didn't see me, but of course i was just in a daze, and i managed to run myself into Miss Nelson's door. it was pretty funny. i don't see how people can get embarrassed about that stuff, i found it quite humorous. i think i will go write him a private entry..

..but first i must replace the lightbulb that just blew.

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where dreams can happen.
i wanna find a love who'll take me there.
and in your eyes i see a vision,
that makes me want to care.

there'll be days when things go wrong,
but i'll be there to keep you strong.

yeah, i wanna be your love.

well so last night mike read yesterday's nutang. at first i didn't want him to see it because i was scared of what he would think, but then i realized that he wanted to know, and he is someone i can tell ANYTHING to, and he is always supportive. i can't stop thinking about him, and how we might still be together from when we dated in February, but Shawn was involved then, so it was awkward. however, shawn is no longer, and i could totally see mike and i together. mom said i'm allowed to ride places with him wherever and whenever i want, and that is a big plus. yeah, shawn might have a nice body or whatever, but ya know, he thinks he is better than everyone and thinks he could kick everyones ass when he can't. all shawn cares about is looks and strength and that is very immature and wrong. i'd like to see shawn TRY to bench what mike can. ha. plus shawn was a big pothead at one time, and ya know, guys in school right now might think it's "gay" to be smart and CARE about grades, but when they are out of school and can't get a good job because of how they messed up in high school, they will care. mike, he knows how he wants his future to be, and he will go after it, and that's a good thing. he's just great, and i hope something becomes of him and i again.

god, i wish i could come right out and tell him how i feel, but i would rather tell him to his face, and that is why i cannot wait until we hang out again, because i have to tell him. it's killing me that he does not know everything i am feeling and he keeps trying to get me to tell him, so i will when we hang out. chances are that won't be until Saturday after my detention. god, i miss him.

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we start school, then within the first two weeks i am sick with hay fever. it sucks, and i hope i get better for tuesday so i can actually have fun in school and not be miserable and having to sneeze and stuff.

shawn seems to think i care about him and tab, when i don't. i no longer feel jealous that she has him and i don't, because if they last a long time like he and i did, she will start to realize that he really isn't all that great. what i did to him with the mike thing was wrong, but i was sick of him always expecting me to be home and he never let me do anything. mike is very sweet and would never do that to me. i've known him forever. i think i'm falling for him again, and vice versa, but that's okay, because i know that this time, shawn wouldn't get in the way of mike and i's happiness. he's just too fantastic. so, shawn can kiss my ass because when him and tab don't work out, and he comes crawling back, i will not be there because i am not putting myself through all his bullshit again.

..he's so incredible.

** EDIT @ 11:54 pm **

i talked to my katie webster tonight. i miss her so much! she has such power to be able and make me do things i am scared to do, like tell mike everything i feel. telling people things like that is actually EASIER for me to do in person than over the computer, because then they know my TRUE emotions and i know theirs.

Mike. he is so.. precious. i can never get mad at him even if he does make me kind of upset, i could never yell at him, or anything. he is too damn sweet. he has got to be the most genuine guy i have ever met. he is so understanding and i am going to miss him so much when he goes to college. at first, i thought i only liked him to make myself get over shawn, but it's much more than that. he's just, amazing. i never really get embarrassed in front of him, and i can be myself with him and his parents, and they are also very nice. dating someone doesn't just mean liking them, but their family and friends as well, and his parents are awesome. god, for no one being perfect, i'd sometimes like to say he is an exception to that. but he's definetley VERY close to perfect. *sighs*

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my fucking annoying allergies would go away. they are making me sneeze and sometimes i feel like i have to sneeze but i can't sneeze which makes my eyes water and it tingles my nose. i hate them. hate is a strong word, but i really do hate them.

i wish we were in school so i could be dominating Trig class and blowing stuff up in Chem, writing my pasko memoir for English, and being smarter than everyone in my Accouting class. i hate being home, i would much rather be in school.

well, so i talked to mike from the time i woke up which was around 9:30, which is unusually early thanks to allergies, and then he left at like 2:30. he is just, oh i don't know, he makes me smile. i want him to get done being confused because he's so much more fun when he's being himself. before MRJ's closes, i am going to talk him into going to play mini-golf with me so i can get that awesome feeling of kicking his ass. he's pretty kick-ass at every single sport there is, but i still think i could beat him. i will somehow force him to pick me up from my saturday detention and take me to get a cappichino because i will need one after the awful stress of being in a room with mr. brann for three hours.

well, haha, wonder what mr. keaton riley is going to say to me when we return to school on the 7th. he told me he was going to ask gavin about what erin and i were talking about in english class, but i don't think it would phase him if gavin told him, i'm pretty sure he already knows.

i have to talk someone into taking japenese with me next year. amy told me today that next year is one of the years that the Japenese class goes to Japan for two weeks and according to her, Japan is awesome. maybe maggie would take it with me, she's pretty awesome like that. if not i'll probably still take it anyway.

a m a z i n g.

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troy is sucking already. haha, maybe it will be like last year and we'll lose every game then win the Old Shoe, because that would just be cool. yeah i went down by the field and the score was fucking 0-20 in the 3rd quarter. yeah, we're fucked. i can't believe it because we have a new quarter-back that can actually throw the ball, and a receiver that can actually catch the ball. our offense is pretty good, so that leads me to the conclusion that Wellsboro's defense is fucking kick-ass, and/or their offense is better than ours.

we made a shitty chemical reaction thing today that smelt so fucking bad, and i didn't "wift while you woft"(mr. harold thing) and i smelled it directly because i couldn't smell it any other way, and oh my god it smelled like shit and made me so sick to my stomach. gross. but chemistry is cool and i aced my elements test thing. ha.

keaton knows, but it's alright. i saw pasko today and damn i feel bad for that boy with his neck all fucked-up and stuff. keaton and pasko are just so damn sweet, and i love that. starting the 13th mike is giving me rides to school and oh i can't wait because i will make him stop at Red Hen so i can get a cappichino. and he's nice that like so he will. he's a taurus just like me, no wonder why we get along so well. ha.

oh my god, today in directed study was so hilarious. nick may was sitting next to me and he is trying to give me money. i'm like, "what's that for?" he goes, "i give you this and you flash me." i was like, "uh, no." haha and mrs. mondock, i swear she heard him but she didn't really say anything. you had to be there, but it was pretty funny. i cannot wait until tuesday. i love bullshitting with everyone at school.. it's a good time.

..he is the definition of phenomenal.

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