Another tired day!!!!!

I hardly got to sleep last night, and nearly oversleep this morning, it was luck that I normally set two alarm clock, so I wake when the second alarm rang, I had no idea with the first alarm but I think I turned it off by myself. Then I quickly made my breakfast and lunch, and rush to tram station, but I forgot sunday timetable is different untill I reach the station and saw people waiting, so I prayed to angels to let me arrive on time, I got up the tram at 9:45am, and I arrived at 10:05am, thanks angels.

We did some healing exercise to ourself and to others today, and I think I was really tired or the music made me real relax, I nearly fall in sleep whilst doing self-healing.

And we had two angel readings from different partners, in the first reading, one person sat against the wall, the other person first put hands on her shoulders and tune in, then sat opposit to the person and saw her auras, spirits and angels. I couldn't see much in this exercise, but when I put my hands on her shoulders, I asked which archangels are with her, and I quickly get a name of Rapheal in my mind, and I sense a strong feminine energy at her left hand side, so I guess is her grandma or mum; I felt some other 'people' at the right hand side, but I couldn't figure out who they are. Then when I sat oppsite to my partner, I think I saw some colours around her head and that should be her aura. Then we swap, my partner told me that there is a woman at my right side, since I dun have any female releatives passed away, so I dunno who she is, and two archangels with me, as I remember is Cherubim and Ariel, for helping me with communication and close with nature. But what funny is, she saw lots of black cats surrounding my feets.

The second reading done by a expertiser who is going to be a teacher of this course soon, we hold hands and do reading for each other, I couldn't see much but I think her energies are strong so I eventually see something. I see her aura in green and blue and an advice for her to travel and writing. However, she told me she saw many Goddesses with me, from Jewish, Egypt, Celtic, Chinese and many other, and these traditions are releated to my pervious lives. My grandpa with me happily, and I have a blue dragon as guidence surrounding me. The messages for me is I will have my women circle very soon, I'm happy with this, I always want to form a women circle, to teach and bring more women being spiritual and get ready for 2012, but I must first do more practise and learning before I can do this.

It was an fun day, but I guess I am too tired, I couldn't remember the details.

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I'm sooooooo tired, did hips of energy work today!

I still couldn't see the physcial images of angels, I need to work more on clairvoyance exercises.

During the attunment, I can feel the energy moves from my left arm through my body to my right arm, it is so powerful, and the vibration is so strong whilst it came through me, it was amazing, but it is pity for cannot see in physcially.

And due to my undevelop clairvoyance, I couldn't see auras too, but I was told that I have some white light surrounding me, it is said it happened to people who did lots of spiritual practise. OMG! Yes, I do spiritual practise many years, but I am rather lazy, that's why I always want to take aura photo, and if I keep picturing that, it will be easier for me to know the process, and courage me to work regularly. But, I don't know where can I find aura photo taking in Adelaide, I only see ads for selling aura camera.

I also did my first automatically writing, diffeent to other people, I didn't hear voices, but I do see images and I sense it, however, the images were rather abstract, and I could hardly guess right the meaning, especially for the long writing, and it won't move away unless I can get the correct/enough messages from the images, so that makes some difficulties.

And each time when we work with guidence angels, I always see two of them stickly together hands-by-hands, one is being active, always hold my hand and work with me; the others just stay behind and being passive, they both lovely. However, Elisabeth, my tutor said we only have one guidence angels, and what I see is one angel in two perspectives, so it confuss me, coz I ain't sure it was due to my reading of Doreen Virtue said we have two guidence angels hence I made up this image in mind but I eventually have only one, or I really have two guidence angels and my case is special. But my finding is close to what Doreen Virtue describe, each of us have two guidence angels, one is being active pushing us forward, and the other one is being passive and comfort us when we are sad. But, doesn't matter, I see two and I'll work with both, that is.

Sophie, the gal I know in lesson told me that Doreen Virtue will have the Angel Intuition held in November at Queensland, I really want to go, but it is the exactly same day as the exam week starts, what I should do? Could my angels solve this out? I really want to join, I have been reading her books for a year, it opens up my eyes and changed my life, it would be wonderful to meet her and learn from her, and that is what I always wanna do. Show on her website, this course will only held once this year and its in Australia, I wouldn't know when and where it is for next year, but I probably leave Australia and start my career at that time, then time will not be that easy to arrange anymore. But if I see it the other way, I will have a secure financial support once I started my career, spiritual lessons worth that prices but I still need to say they are expensive, to maintain a real life and spiritual developing is the harder thing to most Lightworkers, especially a student like me. Would it be a sign for me that I'm not ready to the workshop until I earn my own money? I dunno, I know everything are safe in God/dess's hand, he/she will give me the best than I could imagine, maybe I should just leave it and see what happens.

Anyway, tired tired tired tired tired tired tired ...

Have a nap after dinner, I know it is unhealthy, but I'm damn tired. So no mood to sleep now, but I still have another lesson tomorrow from morning to evening.

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I am very busy this weekend, because lots of reading. They were reading from last week, and I should not be lazy, now I have to finish two weeks reading in one weekend. (Crying)

However, there is a passages that I¡¦d like to share, it is about the transformation of Goddesses dominate to Gods dominate; the book is called ¡§The Sacred Executioner¡¨ and written by H. Maccoby. And for the transformation, it needs to talk in three stages.

1 Very early stages
Human society depends on the earth for its sustenance, they get food by gathered and killed animals, they weren¡¦t doing any cultivation or forethought (that mean they are stupid or naive). Therefore the thought processes of mankind are like those of an infant at the breast, and the forms of religion centre on the MOTHER.
Hence goddesses dominate in this stage.

2 Early Agriculture Stage
The food sources changed in this stage, the role of man in fertilising the female and working the earth attains more recognition, and the Gods appear as consorts of the Goddesses.

3 Late Agriculture Stage
Technological advanced in this stage, it minimise the importance of magic and enhance male confidence, the era of subduing the female begins, the sky-god, fertilising the earth with his semen or rain, rakes over the leadership of the pantheon. And Gods domination started.

At last, the more confidence man attains in manipulating the world around him, the more the male predominates, since his physical superiority ceases to be overawed by female magic.

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DO you know there're four stage of sleep? You may possibly heard this but forgot, let me remind you:

Stage 1: Light Sleep. Our brainwaves move from Beta to Alpha, that is from awake frequency to relaxed level. You can be woken easily or you may denied that you haven't ever sleep, this stage normally last for 5 to 10 minutes.

Stage 2: A Deep Sleep. Our brain frequency reached a Theta waves here. You start to plot a dream with no clear images and ideas. Have you ever flet jerk but unable to shake yourself awake? Yyea, this is the stage which it happens. And have you ever heard of REM (rapid eye movement) sleep? In this stage, you eyes move back and forth ripidly beneath closed eyelids, and if you wake at this time, your dream is usually remembered. This period usually last for few minutes.

Stage 3: Deeper Sleep. Brain frequency in Delta waves that is slow wave. And Delta waves produce us deep but dreamless sleep, and you are hardly awake in this stage. Delta waves often last up to an hour before we turn to stage 4.

Stage 4: Deepest Sleep. Our brains in active stage. You are actually impossible to wake at this stage, and this stage is important to infants and children, because of the increase of hormone growth, that is for restore body tissues. Your dream occurs and your first REM starts, the first REM last for 10 minutes, then you go back to stage 4, then back to REM, stage 4 and recycling until you wake. Your final REM can last for one hour.

And you may ask we sleep at least 8 hours per day, some maybe longer, 10 hours  like me, and these four stages are approximately 100 - 130 minutes, so what is happening to the rest of time? Yea, a normal adult may complete 5 cycles in a night, so you know how many dreams you have in a night.

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HAVE you ever waken by a feeling of lack of support and grounding? I did, and many many times, mostly you are in dream of falling. DO you know there is a myth about dream of falling? If you dream that you hit the bottom in a falling dream it means that you will have died in you sleep, wow... blimey!

If you waken by this lack of support feeling next time, try to bring yourself back to dream, think of how you fell, and where you fell, because dream of fall often indicated that you feel a little of uncontrol and insecure in real life. And there must be a reason for your fell, were you been pushed, or jumped down? It may pinpointed out that you can't cope with someone or you are escaping.  And can you control your landing in a fall, if you can, it could means your real life is not as difficult as you imagine!

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HAVE you ever experienced that you aware you're dreaming whilst you still sleep? Or you were telling yourself don't be afraid or sad because it is a dream? Or you're familiar with your dream perhaps you have had it before so you decide to change its ending? That means you can manipulated your dreams. This kind of state or ability is called LUCID DREAMING, and I could do this sometimes when I ain't too tired.

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DO you found hardly remember your dream, even you just wake up in the morning? There're some ways can help you: 1 Tell yourself that you want and need to remember your dream before you asleep. 2 Do not move when you just wake, don't turn around and  don't open your eyes, tell yourself to think your dream(s) once time, and write it down a.s.a.p. You may keep a book beside you in this case.

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CAN you remember that your dreams are in colour or black and white? The fact is most of our dreams are in colours, but it soon turns into black and white and within 10 minutes the dream fades out. However, some dreams can last for half and one hour. Moreover, if you suddently awoken up in a dreamless sleep stage, you'd possibly feel confusion and lack of co-ordination. 

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I felt very tired today, I woke up at 7:30 this morning, and attended 9am class, then come back home, maybe home is a place too confort, I almost fell to sleep. Because no totuials in the first week, so I only had three lectures today.

I've got Classical Myth at 2pm, and it wasn't go very well, coz I couldn't understand the lecture's accent very well, a few times he said page 26, i'd heard 36, and when he said 24, I'd heard 54 etc. and I ain't good at dropped notes, so nothing much I've wrote. But I still understand what he said, that's luck for me.

Media engagement class was hugh, people took all the sit, or perhaps the lecture room is too small for our class, it was exactly same thing I've learnt in diploma, but I ain't daresay I can get good marks. And I was so sleepy in class.

I went back home after school, I ate some food (actually my lunch and dinner) and I've a nap. In dream, I was in a peaceful place, I met those two girls I met in the first day of Uni, one just told me that "you can't make friends here, coz of you pretend to be cool." It was strange, I was complaining dreams don't sent us message in a direct way, and today I've got a very direct message. I dunno am I really pretending to be cool in school, but I dunno any one still, maybe it is just the first day.

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Someone asked me why I don't take Voice major in University this afternoon. I tried to explain for myself, media is a good choice, and music industry is too complex. And in case I want to change job, a B.music cert wouldn't allow me to do so.

However, I just couldn't help to think tonight. I like singing very much, I like performance on the stage, I like everyone look at me, I like to call attention from people, and I specially like to touch people by singing. I could still remember at the beginning I had been criticised that I was sang without feeling, and later people come to me and said they were moved by listening my singing.

And I just couldn't go back, as I've had explorer the other world already, there was no reture. Two years diploma of communication course had opened up my eyes, I find my world was too small, all I know was singing and some high school science. It is always happened like, the more you know, the more you find you can explorer; but if you are self-centre, you'll remain unchange and though you know everything. I am not saying people the other people are all self-centre, and try to praise myself, I am just saying my case is like this, and this is because I have too many interests in life.

I have not decide what I want to work in the media industry, because there is something I'd like to work on, but I definitely don't want to work on the same area of job for my whole life. Perhaps I haven't meet my favourite yet. If someone told me that singing'd be the career for my rest of life, two years ago, I'd be very happy! I was planned to go performance school instead of university two years ago. And now, I am more than sure I still like performance, but there are much more in life. I may feel lost when I know people chose voice, or performance as major, because this reflected I don't like singing as I love my life. (life is to explorer and adventure)

And I know I am not talent enoguh. I always think, a talent'd be famous since they are little, and don't even need to get into univeristy. Since I don't like to teach for the rest of life (sounds terrible for me), there is no reasons for me to choose music or performance in university (in fact, you have not much choices).

I have made a more than right choice, I don't feel sad, but a bit lost.

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