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42/14
Sunday. 9.7.14 4:55 pm
It is (close to the start of) Week 5 now (Week 4 for some) and... let's just say that I'm almost close to dying with the workload I have for all my mods.

I've been trying to find good places to study at [a consistent pace; productive enough to get at least some things done] and I realise that my (un)productivity probably stems from some/thing(s?) psychological rather than anything else.

Tuesdays are turning into awesome days though.

Alright it's probably time (with 1/3 of sem gone) to detach myself from all these and just take pride and interest in the law. There's a performance though before that is possible. And I daresay it was probably be my swansong performance (for real). Times have changed, and it is right to let younger and better peeps take my place.

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41/14
Monday. 8.25.14 8:50 pm


Frustration = the feeling you get when you sit around anxiously twitching your fingers wishing/praying for something (a seemingly simple act?) to happen. It's like a cliffhanger which refuses to resolve itself.

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40/14
Tuesday. 8.20.14 12:27 am
To be honest, I've had fleeting thoughts of things to post here but invariably these motivations disappear almost as soon as they'd materialised.

Here goes nothing then

1. Cliques are but a means to an end, and not an end in themselves; the whole underlying point of why people group together in the first place is (mainly, imo) to seek shelter, solace, comfort: in other words, company. And this can be easily achieved be it with a lot, a few or even just one other person. They can be from different 'cliques', but still, they constitute company. I realise that at last, this is what makes me sane/whole/alive: being able to hang out/chillax/tcss about anything/everything.

2. I've had the privilege of knowing a lot of people this holidays and even up until just now: an impromptu supper jio with a group of Easties. Also, people from that other law school (haha, hi) as well as our own juniors and some of the freshmen. I cherish every single relation - it is what makes l.school a less scary/foreboding place.

3. I'm very glad that I've been able to make a positive impact on others' lives these few weeks. It is very flattering to have people look up to you; makes me strive harder in order to be the best person I can be. Still, it is a good start. Lastly, I must say I have never regretted spending the last month of the hols doing Rag/Float all over again instead of more internships (because of point 2, above).

4. Maybe the past year wasn't in vain after all...

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39/2014
Monday. 8.4.14 11:51 pm
Today was... an eye-opener in many ways.

It is the day when I realised that - people have many stories to tell, and that first impressions/assumptions aren't always everything. Surprised myself in many/other ways - one of which is, to put it simply, like hitting the jackpot but then realising that the reward is potentially fool's gold.

It is difficult for all the stars to be aligned, but when it seemingly does, is it possible for it to be so perfect to the extent that it becomes unreal, i.e. detached from reality? Cliche as it may be, it sounds quite possible to me (not personal experience sorry y'all can release your collective breaths now).

Hope the ppl in Korea are having fun. Hello ^^

And it's now the season when all our friends are leaving us one by one, slowly but surely. Have fun on exchange guys.

[Personal memory marker] choices; hindsight; other more mundane but exquisite choices. Standards, decisions, inferiority complexes; pressure, pain, expectations, reputations.

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38/2014
Sunday. 7.20.14 2:16 pm
Living like a hobo:

Watching Test matches through even though there was work the next day;
Then it was the World Cup month, more of the same;
And in a bid to counter the withdrawal syndrome that came with Germany (hahaha I guessed it right) winning it was more NatWest T20 Blast.
Now that TI4 has commenced, bye nights and hello to 9am sleeping times.

Meanwhile as I snooze in the morning/afternoon, the rest of the world just moves on in their own little ways. Stories would be told, memories forged [like the juniors doing float in school ;)] and many times the biggest enemy you'll ever face is yourself. Then that's where confidence and mental fortitude comes into play: Confident enough to take on each successive challenge and believe you're good enough, and not letting the past commit a jurisdictional error and haunt you.

There needs to be an oasis of serenity where you can just turn to when everything else threatens to spontaneously combust (I believe I'm on to something here. Either that or it is just a mirage haha). Have to find it "outside of school", so to speak. A 'home away from home' if you will.

Prof X to Magneto in First Class: "There is so much more to you than you know. Not just pain and anger. There is good, too. I felt it. When you can access all of that, you will possess a power no one can match. Not even me."

(that was a good show btw, watched it on Sunday and it shows how lag I am when it comes to these things)

And then you look at what's going on around you and realise how minutely insignificant you are in the grand scheme of things. Who cares if you have done this, or that, or is like this. Often we yearn to "be just like him/her"/"what if... I was like that?" People come and go, but you're stuck with your life. The hardest fight to win is that with yourself (the struggle for your sanity, rationality, personality) - everything else is just a bonus.

Symbols are powerful and serves as a link between the past and the present. Anything can be a symbol as it is personal to each individual - even an innocuously looking toy.

A cousin shared this on fb, and it sounds quite legit (I'm waiting for charms to probably say its rubbish but oh well busy woman is busy working. Until then hahaha): http://thoughtcatalog.com/allison-pardys/2014/07/why-500-days-of-summer-is-the-truest-movie-around/

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Friday. 7.11.14 11:27 pm
Can't say this enough, but EUIV is really awesome if you are a wiki/history buff like myself.



Meanwhile the Indians are cutting the English down to size at Nottingham.

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expects
Tuesday. 7.8.14 10:53 am
I was looking through fb and came to the realisation that my art and craft skillz isn't as awesome as I thought it (relatively). It is like 班门弄斧 y'know. Oh well, there's no chance in hell I will get something that exquisitely unique (cos no one makes them now; or rather no willpower to actl go down source for materials). No biggie about birthdays anyway, though admittedly it is a good chance to sieve out those who care and those who don't... We shall see.

First day of my holidays (at last!) got off to not a bad start: spent longer than expected (until 3am?!) catching up with old classmates. Memories getting fuzzier about a decade on; people have moved on with their lives and all, doing different things.

Like what jas said (sorry jos this is the obligatory once-a-year quote on my blog): ten years down the road you will look back and realise there are things that are more important that a sec school clique.

I am very lucky and honoured to be part of your lives at one stage or another (for the good reasons and memories) no matter how the friendship either fizzled out or ended abruptly or just died. These are all experiences exclusive to each of us - no two friendships are the same; the dynamics, context and shared memories.

There comes a time when one has to accept that some things in life (incl the co-relation between grades and effort!) are irrational - and that we should always prepare for failure and the lowering of our expectations.

Thank you

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jar of scars
Monday. 7.7.14 4:25 am
Memories may fade, but alas, impressions remain etched deeply in the form of irremovable scars (exception being through laser treatment, but that's beyond the point)

It has been a most interesting few weeks - with random conversations about everything with almost anyone I'd met; being able to htht with the juniors etc.

I've realised through everything that nothing's ever as straightforward as it seems to appear on the surface - everything has an underlying cause/story/motive - it's not unlike a grundnorm where every other idea can be traced back to a single, basic norm (lol).

All quiet on that other, other front, but FB doesn't lie. The intent is painfully clear, and it doesn't imo, bode well for the future. What's with truth and reconciliation if both parties stay within their comfort zones and pretend nothing has happened? It's like an ostrich sticking its head in the sand isn't it?

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