reality checklist:

1. fear of future
2. clueless
3. messed up priorities in life
4. probability of losing a friend
5. bad skills at making him happy (nothing much in life to talk about)
6. still feel screwed up about muaself

i think that's enough for now.. don't want to traumatize myself..

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just earlier, i went browsing through friendster.. i found the person who has hurt me in the past.. i went on further to look for evidence that proves his relationship status after me..

i found it.. it didn't hurt anymore.. just the realization that we weren't a perfect fit and glad he found someone that made impact on him.. it is really time to move on... i don't know why i had the thought of looking up on him.. maybe it's fate.. and a sign that i have moved on...

oh well.. i'll give myself a pat on the back~~

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for many people, they start a relationship because they felt something different with that special someone...

will these feelings be true and exist throughout the life?

are these feelings a strong enough factor to start a relationship?

are these feelings a good enough reason to like someone?

why do some of us fear these tingling feelings and run away from it?

what do we do when these feelings are not returned?

what do you do when you feel something when you're in a committed relationship?

i heard it helps women stay prettier... :P

but honestly... do feelings matter so much?

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suddenly,
i miss you...
i wanna hold you...
i wanna talk to you...
i wanna share jokes with you...
i wanna whisper in your ears...
i wanna laze around with you on Sunday afternoons...

i just want you to be here now...
do you feel the same way too?

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i am back in this quaint little town.. it's been 2 months.. but things have changed.. relationships between humans have changed... it's not a big change but i felt bit weird... just wanted to stay in my cocoon and not see anyone..

first week of internship.. and it was fine.. i now firmly believe that kids are monsters.. although sometimes they are angelic, but no... they are all monsters in disguise...trust me...

looking for jobs is not easy.. should i get a break or not after my internship before plunging into the working world? i'm still putting it off...

i felt as if i have an emotion tap.. i could turn it off and on when i'm in different places.. isn't that cool?

a guy read my palms... said a few things that were quite true... i asked him to go bit more with the detail.. but i dun have any specific questions... i didn't feel like knowing.. i used to believe in fate.. or destiny or whatever u call it... but now.. i'm not really into these things.. it's somehow magical when they're able to say things that are accurate... but well...

my life is my own... if i make a decision, and it doesn't work.. then i'll call it fate or destiny or whatever they call it...

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went karaoke with a bunch of hooligans.. was the only gal there and was the target to be drunk... puked in the empty beer jug... disgusted with myself.. one of the guys kept stroking my face.. guess he thinks i'm drunk... hafta keep pushing his hands away.. damn.. i am never ever going out with them... and i had to kiss a gay when i lost in the game.. my crap even smelled like alcohol the next morning!

well.. lesson learned.. ALWAYS PRETEND TO HAVE ALCOHOL ALLERGY/ BAD ALCOHOL TOLERANCE...

and to myself... no alcohol for another 2 years... if i can avoid..

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