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fake friends vs. real friends
Tuesday. 9.19.06 4:00 am
fake friends vs. real friends

fake friends - never ask for food
real friends - are the reason you have NO food
fake friends - bail you out of jail and tell you what you did wrong
real friends-would sit next to you sayin uhm we fucked up but that shit was fun
fake friends- borrow your stuff for a few days and then give it back
real friends - keep your shit so long they forgot it was yours
fake friends- know a few things about you
real friends-could write a book about you with direct quotes from you
fake friends- would knock at your front door
real friends- walk right in yelling IM HOME
fake friends- will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you
real friends- will knock them the fuck out
fake friends-say Love Ya without the love
real friends- say Love You with all their soul
fake friends- NEVER HAVE SEEN YOU CRY
real friends- CRY WITH YOU

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can't sleep..what's new?
Monday. 9.18.06 4:50 am
mood: who knows?
listening to: q.lazzrus - goodbye horses

just been sittin here thinkin alot about shit....got my brain going a mile a minute. so im tryin to calm down some so i'm listenin to some goodbye horses and imagining steve doing his little dance for this! lol..man..that would be funny...ok

gotta slight "buzz" going on thanks to a painkiller..and im still sittin here thinkin about what to really rant about..i want to write everything im thinkin but i don't know if he'll ever read this so im not so sure what to write..ok now im rambling..i have a very bad habit of doing that..lol...ok...uhmmm i think maybe i should just lay down but im afraid i won't wake in the morn so he can have a cig before he has to go about his day.....so maybe i should just like go into my room..write my friend lily who could probably use a letter from me..yep..im outta here..nite

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no title for this
Sunday. 9.17.06 12:30 pm
i honestly believe everyone should have some faith in others...but when you get constantly screwed over by someone you have lots of faith in..that person needs the shit kicked outta them! i have been going thru a shit ton of heartbreak and everything else as of lately...last night it was worse...i've had a lot of heartbreak..honestly i have...but never have i felt the way i did last nite...to see my best friend breakdown and cry over someone who treated him like dirt was the hardest...to see his heart break absolutely killed me inside....yes i can be honest and say i wanted them to break up and never speak again...but not in the manner it happened...she hurt him beyond disbelief...she tore apart what friendship they had and it really didn't effect her til today???!!! what kind of friend is that? what kind of girlfriend is that? i promised him she would not be hurt by my hands...and he wanted me to promise not to let our other friends hurt her....it's a promise i don't want to keep....i want to hurt her as much as she hurt him times 100....the damage she did to my best friend...i will never forgive her for that...i think everyone should be forgiven, but im not going to forgive her for all the heartache and pain she caused him...i want to go to her house while she is sleepin...kidnap her and stick her in a basement for a week...smack her around, hit her a few hundred times and let her go in a field out in the middle of bumfuckegypt where she has no clue where she is and make her find her way home..with the promise that if she ever spoke or hurt him again..i would finish her off...that would bring some pain relief but i know it won't fix my friends pain...i just feel so horrible knowing there is nothing really i can do for him to help ease the pain, but be here for him...i love him and i would die for him. he is my world and right now his is crashing and it's killin us both.......i just wish there was more i can do...im so worried about him right now...im so scared of what he could possibly do....

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....
Thursday. 9.14.06 9:23 pm
mood: worthless
listening to: blink 182 - adamns song

ok..remember the book i said i was going to write..well yea..im going to write it when i go to prison..im about to go on a killin spree or lose my mind..not sure which one yet....ok..maybe lose my mind then kill...yea that sounds like a freakin plan...

i honestly would like to know what is wrong with me?! i know i don't have perfect looks or im not all that skinny like every bleach blonde out there...but im a nice, caring ect. person...to mean completely nothing to someone really fuckin hurts...how does one fall out of love? i hate this life

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WTF?
Thursday. 9.14.06 5:20 pm
mood: great then to shitty
listening to: blink 182 - adam's song

OK TELL ME WTF?!

a girl (who totally loves a boy) tells this boy, I Will Wait For You...boy smiles and blushes..couple days later a different girl says to this boy I Will Wait For You..he asks her out........

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the day so far...
Thursday. 9.14.06 3:06 pm
mood: uhm, ok
listening to: jojo - too little too late

had 4.5 hours sleep..got up at 430am and watched some cartoons..later today my friend and his mom wanted me to ride with them to the hospital so she could get her tests done..then went to lunch...came home and my friend hooked me up with some stress reliver so i came home and had a hot shower and took some painkillers and now im feelin pretty ok...got so much shit to say on here..but will have to wait til i can think of it all..lol..im so going now..going to sit on porch with bubby and i dunno...watch traffic?

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