So This past weekend was super busy, but a lot of fun!

Friday I picked up Janice from school (thats her nickname). We went to Vinnie's and then to the baseball game. Her and I have actually gotten closer since I went to school, which is awesome. She will forever be my little sister, and I have cheerleading to thank for that. I seriously love her, she hasn't made the best choices in life, but she is trying and thats all that matters.

While at the baseball game, my radiator blew in my car. My wonderful car that I just got in December and the warranty ran out at the end of March. Yes, I am slightly perturbed about that. I guess its going to cost around 200 plus labor and towing charges. I can't believe my luck sometimes.

Something else at the baseball game slightly distressed me. I was getting ready to pull out of the parking lot(in my mom's car) and my ex bf and his dad drive by. They both just kind of stared me down. Then I see Bob (the dad) pat Seth on the back and then they talked about something the whole ride home. Now it could have been about baseball since we lost and Seth didn't play particularlly well...and i may be being a little self centered...but I can't help but think that it was all about me. This is frustrating because I have tried to have some sort of relationship with Seth for the past year. He seriously avoids me at all costs and pretends like I don't exist. I have yet to figure out why we broke up in the first place and I do admit that I would love to somehow find a way to get back together. He has made it clear that it won't happen. So now I have started to hang out with someone else (more on that later) and it now seems like that bothers him...which bothers me. I could be making a lot over nothing, but I tend to do this often.

Anyway, saturday I met with my old cheerleading coach, Angie, and she offered me a job at the ice cream store. This excites me, I now have a summer job. After that I met Ryan at Simply Terries and we ordered his tux for prom. Then I went back to my house where we were having a party for my cousin, Derek. He is going into the Army National Guard as a military police and he leaves today. Derek and I are 3 months apart, we grew up and graduated high school together. I am just sad he is not going to be around for 5 months, and then will possibly have to go over to the middle east somewhere.

Then, I went to the mall with Ryan...aka, new boy.
Everything is very complicated at this current moment, so nothing is going to happen between us anytime soon, but its nice to have someone to just hang out with and have a good time. There are many complications. One- he just got out of a relationship with one of my past friends. ( We were once good friends, but due to things that are both directly and indirectly related to Ryan, I wouldn't consider friends anymore) This was Ryan's first real relationship and to top it off, he also had sex with her. In addition, Ryan is like best friends with Seth, my first real boyfriend and someone who I still have a lot of feelings for. Ryan has asked me to go to his prom, which has already cause a lot of issues...so I don't know if anything will ever work out between us...who knows. I am thinking about texting Seth and seeing what his major malfunction is and getting everything cleared up before prom, since we will be around each other all night. I am also just debating letting Ryan handle it. Most likely option A will win, because I won't be able to talk to Ryan until late tonight or tomorrow.

Anyway, my weekend ended with me and the rents going to Williamsport to get my phone fixed and then bringing me back to Lock Hell. I am already chomping at the bit to go back home...Friday cannot come soon enough.

Well my roommate will be out of class soon and that means lunch time. More on everything when I get the chance.

Comment! (2) | Recommend!

so I haven't written since September, and a lot has changed since then.

I have 3 weeks left of my freshman year in college, and I can't wait for them to be over. Next semester I am transferring to Mansfield University, which is like 15 minutes from my house. Lock Haven is nothing like I thought it would be. The only thing I love about it is living with Kelly, but she is also transferring, so Lock Haven's only plus won't exist. I never thought I would go to Mansfield, but I have become one of the million Troy kids to do so.

I have just changed as well. The best way I can describe it is like I heard my grandma tell someone else, "She's changed, not for the better or worse necessarily, she has just changed." Like most freshman, I have gotten out of the high school mentality that I must look as perfect as possible. I have also figured out who is important in my life and who is not. I realized that I am not over my ex boyfriend, and for the first time, I am actually dealing with that. I have realized that my parents aren't worth me stressing over, and that one day I can leave and not be under their thumbs anymore. I have come to the conclusion that I have just grown out of my parents. I know anyone the reads this that is older will just want to smack me, but I have become more mature and more intelligent than my parents. Its the truth, they just can't control me anymore, honestly don't know how. I have also realized that in the near future, it will be best for me to just cut ties with the extended part of the Estep family. They are not worth my time anymore. I do not need to be put down and insulted by family, thats what enemies are for. With of the this relationship stuff, I have come to the conclusion that if you want someone in your life, you have to work to keep them there. Since I am a good hour and fifteen minutes away from home, I am constantly texting friends and family to stay in touch.

I can't believe that so much time has gone by. I look outside and its sooo nice out, and I can't believe that 3 weeks from now, I can go home for good. I never realized how much home meant to me. But Troy is such a part of me, and I am just not ready to leave it behind. My entire Rogers family lives in the same small neighborhood. They are my foundation, why would I want to live anywhere else? I can't believe how far I have come. I look back to last year and remember what I was thinking and can't believe that I ended up here. I guess I have just grown up. I no longer think about getting far away, I think about saving money and hassel by living at home. I realize that "the college experinece" is not something I need, because that mostly entitles getting shitfaced on a nightly basis.

I guess this is pretty much all for now, I plan on writing more in detail about things of the past school year, but they really deserve an entry of their own.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

So today it has been exactly two years since my grandma rogers lost her battle with cancer. So i am taking the time to reflect on her life and how much she impacted mine. To this day my grandma is the strongest person I have met. To fight cancer three different times is such a stuggle...i am not sure if I would still have faith like she did. And when she knew it was her time, she was not scared, she took it with dignigty and grace. She is the inspiration for my faith in God. She brought me back to Him and He has made my life what it is today. People still ask if it ever gets better. And the honest answer is no, it doesn't. There are still days when I want to talk to her, to see her, and I can't. There are times when she should be here. It killed me to know she wasn't in the audience for mine and Derek's graduation, or my final Cobblestones concert. I know she is so proud of me but i would just love to hear her say those words. And just to hug her...its an indescribable feeling. But I know she is up in heaven watching over her family. And I know she is knocking on God's door screaming "What the hell are u doing to my grandkids?" everytime something bad happens to us. And as long as I am alive, she will live on, for I carry her with me where ever I go, and I never forget the incredible woman that she was.

Anna Myra Rogers
April 4, 1936-
September 2, 2005
The first date said with joy
The second with tears
But the little dash represents
All those Amazing
Inbetween Years

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

wow it has been a long time. I don't know why but i haven't felt like writing...which is weird. But tonight I got online and I was like you know what I want to do, write on my NuTang...so here i am.

Since Graduation, I have just been trying to have a really good summer. I have gone to several parties, mostly grad parties, hung out with alot of different people and have just been having a good time.

I have hung out and been talking to alot of different guys, who all are just friends, but its really nice to be able to hang out with all of them, they are such nice guys and most of them I lost cloesness with when I was dating Seth so its so good to be good friends with them again. I have decided that right now the single life is the life for me, so i am not really looking for anyone and don't plan to start looking when I get to college either.

I am still helping my show choir with choreo this summer. It honestly still feels like i am one of the group because I just graduated so I still am really close with all the members. its been alright so far, I just recieved a new challenge with it. The other person that was helping with choreo quit so now i am sole choreographer again. Just means i have to work at it a bit more.

I am still helping Mrs. Grantier every now and then. I am trying to keep in touch with her as much as possible, even though I am no longer dating her son. She is still one of my favorite people in the world and she is the one of the people that made me want to become an English teacher, so I am hoping we will always be in contact, even if her son still aviods me at all costs.

So this week is the Troy Fair, which is the biggest thing to happen in my little town all year. I have gone all three days so far. I just go and hang out with people and walk around. Its just a nice place to meet people and catch up. I also LOVE fair food!! Thats why I walk around the fair all the time, to burn off all those extra calories.

I am also slowly getting ready for college. Kel and I already have gone to orientation. And now I am starting to buy things every time i am out. I was just making a list earlier of all the stuff I need. I am also getting more excited everyday. I am ready for something different. But i am going to miss my friends here. I have gotten alot closer to some people over the summer and its gunna suck when we all go our separate ways. Kelly and I haven't been hanging out as much. But I really don't think thats a bad thing since we will be living together at the end of August. Everyone keeps telling me that we won't be friends after rooming together, but I hope that is not the case. Kelly and I don't have any classes together and we prolly not see each other on weekends (she plans on coming home as much as possible to be with her boyfriend) so its not like we will see too much of each other.

Anyway thats pretty much what I have been up to...hopefull i will feel like writing more now.

Comment! (2) | Recommend!