rightttttt so gf tells me to call her at 2 30 am my time.. so that would be around 9 30 or 10 30 am her time... so i call her... number busy.. kept trying and trying and trying until 5 am my time.. by then i was too tired to continue and frustration and anger has taken over me and just went to sleep and didnt bother to keep trying anymore. only reason why i kept trying was because i thought there was a power failure or, someone was on the phone..

so then i get a message from her on the forums, telling me that shes sorry that i couldnt get thru to her cos her phone isnt working.. >.> *annoyed*.. now, dont get me wrong here, i dont blame her for this since its her parents fault for lying to her, telling her that the phone works, but i'm still annoyed. i kept trying to call her despite the fact that i was sleepy since i only had like 5 hours sleep that day and had to wake up at 5 30 am for work.. *sigh*.. sorry just venting.. since i really really wanna talk to her and hear her voice, since its the closet thing to phyiscal interaction.. but gah.. when you cant get into contact with someone.. especially if you really needed to talk to them or something, it really gets to you.. the distance amplifies by one thousand times and you just feel so helpless that you just cant even tell the person you love that you love them and that you missed them. meh. annoying distance.. just makes me wanna give up.

so like yeah here i am sitting here.. annoyed, missing her, and yet kinda pissed off at her.. and yeah my parents are still annoying the fck outta me.. annoying bishes.. and everything else around me is annoying me, im being stressed over things i shouldnt be stressed about and the only fcking time i actually feel happy is when i speak to her.. internet or phone. my dad came in earlier today... asking me how come i always look so sad on the computer now.. whereas before i was always laughing and in a good mood.. gee i cant tell him that im missing my gf from the otherside of the fcking planet. the gf part alone will do enough damage.

.. hey kan if your reading this.. so if i was really depressed, like in your dream; would you really fck everything and just come down here? ... am i not really depressed right now with everything going on around me? i wonder how much longer i can tolerate this.. what my parents put me through.. and how stuck i feel.

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o.o i r teh bored. *nods* gf is tryna help me fix this thing =.=

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