My email to my mother about five minutes ago:

"This Sunday is Riverside Park's Spring Event. I am going to volunteer. Do not tell me to finish my schoolwork first because there is nothing left to do. I am not going to sit on my hands everyday doing nothing.

There is a Live Jazz Performance at the Museum of Natural History this Friday. I am going to go and Mommy is welcome to join me.

I am also looking into Bloomberg's MillionTreesNYC since April is MillionTreesNYC Month. I am not afraid of getting my hands dirty and want to help in the effort to plant trees."

There is also the Park to Park Swim coming up in June that I want to volunteer for. *sigh* There's a lot I want to do. I've been waiting for a very long time and now that it has come...so close...I have no idea where to start. Volunteering is as good a place as any.

And no, I still haven't found that job. I've circled a couple in the classifieds, but I'm really not looking for an office job. A gallery or museum, perhaps.

I'm looking for that cafe&books I saw somewhere. You could take the book right out of the place! Now where, oh, where...

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I need a job, I need a job, I need a joooooooob. ;_;

Plus, I've got a performance in abut a week and I have no idea what I'm doing and since I have no idea what I'm doing, I can't get a costume, do rehearsal or get the music if I need to because I'm trying to make my decision on what music I do have here at home or else I have to choose without it and get the music from school...

Or I might just have to choreograph a whole new dance all together and then I'd have to get new music.

*siiiiiiiiigh*

Did I mention I need a job?

And that I still have to arrange my li'l overseas trip for my year off. Did I mention I'm taking a year off?

hoo, boy...

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and yet I have no plans, no places to go. This sucks. I really want to travel, go do something. A cruise, roadtrip, anything!

Oh, and something might be changing in my life. I'm not sure, but I'll tell ya'll when I'm certain.

Sorry, I don't have much news. My life is boring.

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Did you ever walk down the street, meet an old friend or an aquaintance, and find that they know specific details about you (your schedule, activities, events) that you had only told one person?

Well, I don't want that to ever happen. So far I have managed to avoid it, but I know it is possible, I just had the luck not to meet them yet. I know that my mother has told people things, my personal business which I believe is no business of my mother's let alone their's!

If I tell my mother something, I expect it to be just a conversation between a mother and daughter, not the ears that come after. I don't expect to hear it from others' mouths next week. I don't want my personal conversation to be gossiped and go down a game of 'telephone' or 'operator'.

Right now, I can't help myself, I can't do anything. I'm just watching my mouth and my actions a little more. I'm not used to regulating the words out of my mouth so it is uncomfortable yet, but I expect to be good and silent when my eighteenth birthday comes.

Perhaps I shall give an ultimatum that day or sometime around then or maybe not say anything at all. She should be fine with not knowing anything beyond the basics of my life. A cell phone number is good enough, no?

If I stay in the city, I want my own place. I need to get away, the two of us need ROOM, SPACE. We need it and I'm gonna find a way for us to get it.

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