"Why are we touching each other?"
"...I don't know."

If you don't understand this, that's okay.

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So I'm trying to upload a video on youtube right now and it's taking forever. I'm not sure if this is the normal timespan for uploading a video or not as I've never uploaded to youtube before..I have a strange feeling though that it'll turn out to be one of those things where it says its loading forever and then I'll check it in another hour and it'll say my video wasn't the right type or something. Meh. I'm tired.

I decided that I'm going to Western. I really wanted to go to Columbia and maybe eventually I'll transfer, but they didn't offer me any financial aid for this year (they wanted my mom to take out a $34,000 loan for this year alone.) redic. So now I'm going to Western and I'm actually pretty excited about it. Now I just need to figure out what my major will be. When I originally applied to Western, I did it with the intent of majoring in PoliSci but there's not a ton I could do with that major..that I actually want to do. Out of my career options with that major the only slightly appealing one is becoming a high school teacher but teachers just don't get paid enough. I don't want to have to struggle with money. I'm not saying I want to be filthy rich or anything, but I just want to be able to live comfortably. I'm sure I'll figure something out. Oh and bonus! I don't start school til September 24th now. =)

I went to Blabathon last night and today. (Actually, the video I'm uploading is from it..I'll post it if it's ever finished.) Basically Mr. and Mrs. Blabathon, Justin crying, Paul Willis and duo swaps are my favorite things in the world. If you don't attend Federal Way High School you probably have no idea what Blabathon is and I'm too tired to explain it. Maybe I'll do so in the morning.

Okay I'm too tired to keep typing and there's not much else to say that I can really think of right now so I'm going to bed. I guess I'll just have to leave my computer on for that damn video. G'night.

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You know you've taken slacking to a whole new level when you call your mom on your cell phone who is only 20 feet away from you in the living room to get you a glass of Arizona green tea.


Oh, and I want in James McAvoy's pants. Now.

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I fucking hate calculus. I refuse to study for that stupid ass test tomorrow. Or technically, today. I've failed all the other ones and I'm somehow still passing, how bad could this one be? I have some other issues with that class but I'll keep them to myself for now. Too tired.

I think I'm going to go to Columbia..but I'm still pissed as shit that I have to decide by May 1 because of Western and I have yet to receive either school's financial information. a;sldkjf

I am clearly not a happy camper today.


p.s. When I was just writing 'happy' I started it out as 'hammy' haha oh and earlier today when I was trying to write 'Ashlee Simpson' I wrote 'Asslee Simpson'..I kept it as Asslee. =)

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So, I finally got my tattoo. I'm not sure if you can tell in the picture or not but it says "believe" and "lie" is in purple. A lot of people have asked me why I got my tattoo the way I did and I'm never really sure how to explain it to them..but I guess I'll try to do that here. Not many people know, but I battled severe depression for years. It never got to the point where I was suicidal..but it did get pretty bad at times..and when I was at my lowest point and felt like nobody understood and that I couldn't talk to my friends I turned to music. I've been listening to Fall Out Boy since Take This To Your Grave but it wasn't until I was at my lowest of lows that something just clicked. When I was down, their music was there. I know people are probably like, "What the hell, Fall Out Boy sucks blah blah blah" but I just couldn't care less. Because they are who I turned to. Their music made me realize I needed help and I asked for it. I took prozac for a couple of years and it really helped me overcome my depression to the point where I don't take medication today. So I guess back to my point, I got "believe" so as to continue believing in myself, believe that I can get through the toughest of times, and keep believing life is worth living. "The best part of believe is the lie.." -Fall Out Boy. The "lie" is outlined for my dedication. I will keep backing Fall Out Boy because in a sense, they kept backing me. I don't want to think what might have happened if I had not had their music and I'm just so thankful that it and they as people exist.

I'm happy.

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Oh hey nutang. meh.

So if I go to Western I have to make my decision real quick. Western, however is not where I want to go...it's where I can afford to go. I want to go to Columbia College Chicago so bad and after having visited it, I know I would fit so perfectly there..but it's so expensive and that scares me. I just wish scholarships weren't so hard to find. I understand that I'm white, I'm probably palest of the pale but that's beside the point, and that most scholarships have restrictions based on race and such. But honestly? I've been raised by a single mother who works at a job that doesn't pay near enough nor treat her right but she works there for me and my brother, for our benefit. She's tried time and time again to get a different job but for most if she were to transfer she'd be starting at an even lower salary than she has now. So what the fuck am I supposed to do? I can't change the color of my skin but I am in need just as much or moreso of scholarships that are restricted to African Americans, Asian Americans, Hispanics etc. I don't know, I'm ranting but asd;lfkj. Yep, that sums it up.

I've officially decided that 8th grade was my favorite year in my educational career so to speak. It was so chill and just plain fun. I miss how simple it all was and all the good times in Victor's class. Plus, it was the first year of RRK, a great thing indeed.

I got my tonsils taken out over Spring Break. The ideal age for that is 7. Yeah, I've got 11 years on that. Anyway I had 3 terrible bouts with Strep Throat within a matter of 5 months..and the doctor basically told me in simplest terms that my mouth was fucked up. All I can say is, I'm happy they're out but recovery is hell and completely disgusting. I threw up 3 times..throwing up, having shit come out of your mouth the opposite direction of how it's supposed to come in when you're not even allowed to eat solids yet your throat is so fucked, is the worst thing on the planet. Well, maybe the scabbing trumps that. Mmm Graphic.

G'night.

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