for everyone who read what this entry said before, ignore it. it was written when i was really pissed off and everything was blown out of proportion. im sorry for scaring you, erin, and anyone else i scared when i said i might hurt myself. i wont because i know you all love me and i dont want to fuck that up. im sorry that i made mention of gino when i dont like him anymore. all i have to say is this:

ian merril is the sweetest guy i know and i love him like crazy

im really sorry about the entry that was here before. please forgive everyone

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first of all, i have to say this.. FUCK YOU DYLAN YOUR A MOTHER FUCKING FLAMER! WHO EVER FUCKING DUMPS SHAWN FUCKING GARDINER IS FUCKING RETARDED AND OUT OF THEIR FUCKING MIND! SHES GORGEOUS, NICE AND FUNNY! BUT I GUESS A HOMOSEXUAL LIKE YOU DOESNT FUCKING UNDERSTAND! SHES TOO FUCKING GOOD FOR YOU ANYWAY BITCH!

i love you shawn. dylans a faggot queer man.

anyways.. ian merril :-) yes there is a lot of love there. im totally crushin on him. what a fucking hottie lol. cannot wait for the dance concert ::wink wink:: well have some fun....

anyways again.. this weekends thanks giving weekend. i am thankful for my sanity this year cause it takes a lot of it to put up with an abusive mom, a passive dad, crazy bitchy girl situations, faggot boys, and getting out of cutting. i am also thankful for all those people who were just mentioned because they made me happy at one point or another. and im most thankful for SHAWN CAUSE I FUCKING LOVE HER BIATCH!!!! :-)

might go to steve AKA dj lemm's house tonight.. with justin smith. havent seen them in forever so we should have fun. also if you want to make plans lemme know. you have the numberr


later foolllllls <3

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short entry, i know. i wrote a song (about JF) but i wont post it right now. im too busy working on the purevolume. :) yay!! im so fucking excited for this band. our first practice ever is this saturday, all day, at my place. then shawn and i might go to ians lax game idk yet. but the bands this:
me/shawn-vocals
jake-guitar
fkat-bass
THIS IS A CALL TO ALL DRUMMERS!! we need one lol.

http://www.purevolume.com/inthecut

thats right.. were called in the cut. its not about me cutting. its about being just good enough to make it. like being the least you can be but just barely scraping by. get it now?

oh and also great concert at the recher on december 19th. adelphi, all time low, japan 4, and underscore. doors are at 6. FUCK YEAH EMILY TYSON AND LAUREN BROWN!!! THIS IS GOING TO BE THE MOTHER FUCKING SHITT HOLLLLLLERRRRRRR!!!!


much love xoxo

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**determined**


yes i want to loose weight.. yes yes yes. i need to loose 10 lbs and work on my abs cause i want them sexy. lol god im a loser. anyway, heres my goals so i dont forget 'em:

1. run 3 times a week
2. veggies every night for dinner
3. drink ONLY water
4. do more workout sessions
5. no breakfast/lunch

damn fuckin weight gona be goon in no time. :)


probably ice skating tomorrow with elise. its at northwest rink (call if you dont know how to get there). its 8 to 10 30 bring $8.50

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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today was boring. 1st pd science, ms turner wasnt there so we did busy work. oh yay. then 2nd pd gym we had to run for soccer:-/ its too cold outside to do that. 3rd pd english was boring. stole daves watch. thats always fun lol. 4th pd french sucked. i hate having shawn mad at me. but after we talked everything over and things are better?? idk let me know if they are lol.

so now im home. bored too. and troubled (lol big mature word). whatever i feel worthless. again yeah:-/

if you have the password for my private entries, then read it

tonight taryns playing at the myerhoff (s/p?) for all honors. jazz band is going to be playing in the lobby. i want to see them but not really. everythings weird between me and gino. we dont even talk anymore. i dont really want to see him..

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