Justin
this'll probably be the longest one

>>well... what is there to say? I guess I'll start from the [second] begining. When I had to change my password for the five-millionth time on myspace I got really tired of it, decided no more myspace at school, and I decided I'd make a new account w/ my other e-mail... this way I wouldn't lose my friends list altogether and could go between the two for what I wanted to keep.

>>I took a day or two going thru my other friends list and re-requesting friendship on my new account. Most people just accepted... Justin sent a message... just your basic "hey what's up it's been a while" kinda thing. The message ended up going on for a few days and got longer than usual. Before then, since I moved outta the first apartment I lived in out here, it'd been about two years or so since the last time we talked. It was nice to catch up. Well... I got an idea and sent him my number and said that if he ever wanted to talk he was mre than welcome to call, figuring I'd hear from him maybe in a week or something. I didn't get my hopes up too high... guys usually don't call unless they as for your number. Little did I know, he was planning on asking my number when he got on the next day.

>>Around 5:30-ish [pm] I'm laying on my bed, watching tv half asleep and I feel my phone going off [I keep my phone on my bed and when it's on vibrate it makes my whole bed vibrate... since I never hear it when I've got the ringer on]. I jump and start looking for it. By the time I found it the light had just gone off and my little screen said one missed call. I figured it was Taylor or Jordan since Anthony was with me and checked who it was... w/ no real intention of calling back.

>>I opened my phone and hit the button to see who called... it wasn't a saved number, but my heart sped up when I saw the area code... "407" ... and called back, which I usually don't do if it's not a saved number. I think my heart stopped for a second when I heard the little click and then "hello?" I thought quickly about whether to ask if it was Justin... didn't want to offend him if it wasn't "hey... someone from this number just called my phone?" I swear I heard him smile when he said "Lori?" It was so nice... but I had to get off like 15 minutes later to eat dinner, and I told him I'd call him back in half an hour.

>>Okay, I'm not gonna put the whole conversation on here... we were on the phone for like an hour or two, and I'm not a phone person. We talked again the next day [I ate dinner early] from just after 5 until around 8:45. That conversation I won't give details about... he made me blush waaaaaay too much during that conversation. Shhh... he doesn't know that.

>>Well it's just really nice to be talking to him again after so long. I mean... we were close just before I moved out here... and he was the person that I talked to most the first year-ish that I was out here. He's also the person that I thought about most when we lost touch. And now, I just want to go home. When we talk he tells me about the party we're gonna have... and how he's gonna get me drunk and teach me how to skateboard. I can tell ya now... that is gonna be funny as hell; Anthony's tried to teach me when I'm perfectly sober and it didn't work. But I've chosen to humor him... plus there's a $20 bet on it between us. ^-^ I'm almost hoping he can teach me so that the rest of our compromise comes through, but I kinda doubt it...

>>I know, I could probably go on forever about little things... the smallest thoughts... bits and pieces of our conversations... all that. I could probably take up more time about him than Anthony to be honest... and I don't think that's a good thing. ... but it makes me happy... and Anthony knows. And even if I hadn't pretty much told him, he would still be able to tell. I go outside to talk on the phone w/ Justin, after we talk or when I'm thinking about what it's going to be like going home... I'm always smiling, and he's the only one that can make me blush that much and get me to admit to stuff that I try to get away w/o him knowing. He gets me to tell him by saying he's my conscience... I like that... idk, it's just... it's too hard to explain.

>>And I know what people will think, I'm horrible. But Anthony knows... he really knows. He knows Justin confuses me... that when I talk to him I don't really care about anything that's going on out here... I'm truly happy when I'm talking to him. And that it hurts when I don't talk to him for a while... he's my release from reality. He's that hidden laughter in me when I'm crying. He's younger than me... yea... but he's special to me... I cried when he told me he's planning on going into the military a few years after he graduates. ... I told him I wasn't crying... that I was thinking. He got the main point of it and was confused that I didn't want him to... I put it the only way I knew how. I basically told him I love him... that's why I don't like the thought of him being out there in war. I just wonder, sometimes, if he realizes that I really meant it. That that is my reason...
...............................

Malou
>>well now... where to start with Miss. Malou? I'm not going to type out the dream on here... not until I have her permission to put it public. These dreams are slowly turning into a really good story line and [with the second one] I've started writing them down. Or at least making an effort to remember them.

>>A while ago... I'd say it was around the time word started spreading about Grease that they began... back when we still had Mr. Martinez. I swear, the administration really fucked up some of the school spirit by letting him go... he was the second best teacher I've ever had. Anywho... I started having all kinds of dreams about her... some were just regular, like it was just another day at school... and others... wow... well, I'll just say that I didn't know I was quite that imaginative in my sleep.

>>The first one [dirty dream] I told her about a few weeks before school ended... and she was asking for details... stuff that I couldn't remember. She seemed heartbroken by it... and I fucking raked my brain to see what else I could remember. I ended up coming up pretty empty handed. Well, about a week or two later I spent my weekend the usual insomniac way. I didn't sleep until around 6 or 7 Sunday morning. Go figure Sunday morning and I'm having lesbian sex dreams. ... only me. When I woke up I found a pen and some paper and started writing while I was eating breakfast... while I was supposed to be studying for my period 1 exam.

>>To skip on all the stuff that would make this really long... I gave her the paper that I'd written out just of the begining of the dream. OMG... talk about a giddy girl. And I told her some more of it during passing from 3rd to 5th... it really is amazing how accurate my dream was about some stuff. Anywho, I'm waiting for her to send me what I wrote down [since I gave her the only copy] cause I really do want to finish it. When she gets to it I'll ask her if she's okay with me putting it on here... and I'll post it if she says yes.

spazzy day
>>back when Wait Until Dark started up I was kinda pushed to the side cause Anthomy was in the play... and he had to be at rehearsals, meetings, ect. Well I went to see it on the second night they were doing it and I thought it was good. I liked that him and Jennifer agreed that they weren't going to do the scripted kiss... it made me feel a bit better about it.

>>Well, I went with him on the 3rd night as well just to hang out. Ms. L handed me the camera and they ran a few of their favorite scenes so I could take pictures for the yearbook. It was pretty fun. I got to watch the play from up in the theatre tech place that's over the audience. There ended up being a lot of stuff that went wrong in the play that night... after the play as well [for us]. Seems that Nicole had been changing in the boys dressing room... at the same time as Anthony had. I saw this after the play when I went back to see when he wanted me to call for the ride. I have no idea what happened in the dressing room... and I honestly don't completely believe that nothing happened.

>>Anthony's not the "hun" and "sweetheart" person that I am. So I open Nicole's yearbook to sign it... just inside the front cover. I look over what a few other people have written just to get ideas and one catches my eye... the handwriting was familiar. I read it... "hey babe this year's been really fun. I'm gonna hella miss you next year. The play stuff was really fun too. Always Anthony"
....... BABE!? I honestly felt like screaming at him, hitting him... hitting her. I freaked out about it and stormed off to my 2nd period exam... crying. I can't believe I got a good grade on that exam... I could hardly read the questions thru my tears. I saw him after class and yelled at him about it, cried, pushed him away from me, and practically ran to my 4th period... forced myself to hold back the tears.

>>I got pulled into a group of friends and James made me talk. It came down to "is he really worth all this pain?" in my mind. When James got me to say that... I felt my lip quiver and I guess he saw it cause he hugged me really tight and I just started crying my ass off. I shouldn't have had to take my exams like that... but 4th period was nothing. I finished it and cried more.

>>It was hell... the rest of the day... through 4th period and after I got to Anthony's after school is a big blur; except that Trevor told me he'd give me a ride home.... and just before we got to the light at Commerce and Alexander I asked if he'd drop me off at Anthony's instead. I remember that he was still walking, not in his neighborhood yet and when I saw him I started crying again. I think his dad let me in... and I remember standing right inside his bedroom door w/ him for a really long time... the rest of it... we talked, but I don't remember anything I said.... and after a bit we laid on his bed and talked more and I cried more...

'07 Graduation
>>Graduation was at the Orleans Arena, June 14, at 3:00pm... we had to be there an hour before it started to get our tickets. I ended up waking up almost an hour late and freaked out cause I didn't know when Anthony was going to be calling to find out if I was ready. We ended up getting to the arena at 2:05 and Nick was no where to be seen. He'd called me on Wednesday and we agreed to meet infront of the arena around 2 so Anthony and I could get our tickets and he wouldn't be late... when ten minutes passed and there was still no sign of him ... well I was kinda worried we weren't going to be able to get in. Luckily Joey showed up just after the line started moving and her mom had hella extra tickets, so we got 2 from her.

>>We walked around a bit when we got inside... on the hunt for breakfast for me. hehe... "breakfast" ended up being a big pretzle w/ cheese and a few sips of Mountain Dew. When the ceremony started I swore to myself that I wasn't going to cry. ... I lied to myself. As soon as the first [student] speach started my eyes began to water. Heh... when Kylie started [the validictorian] I began crying... but made it so no one could really tell.
After the ceremony, haning out w/ the graduates outside the arena was fun. Ali was the first to come out that I knew [he's cute]... I went over and hugged him and said congratz, kissed him on the cheek and wished him good luck [since he's big on acting, dancing, singing, all of it] and he suprised me when he said "thank you sweetie" and kissed my forehead. We only really met on the Cali trip... that's why it suprised me...

>>The rest of the gang filed out after a while and I said my congratz, farewells, goodlucks, threats [to stay safe for those going into the military], and gave hugs. After everybody slowly disappeared we were stuck downtown w/o a ride home for at least an hour. So, after half an hour, we walked around the casino looking for cheap food since we couldn't go back in the arena.
... the rest of the day was just the usual... went home, hung out w/ Anthony for a few hours... yep.

Choir Trip - Spring Break '08
>>*sigh* hmmmmmm... well... this is part of what I sent to Justin... but he understands cause we've been talking about this choir trip since Alvarez first mentioned it:
>'yes, I'm being extremelly optimistic about the trip again... idk if your phone was still working when I sent you the text, but [Ms] Alvarez went to a conference and talked to the head coordinader guy of the music in the parks at disney... well he talked to her and told her how they don't get very many west coast schools and that he'd love to have us and all that stuff... so he kinda talked her back into really liking the idea of going to Orlando for the entire week ofspring break [and she already knows I'm going to be trying to see you if we do go]. So now I'm being really really hopefull about it... which is probably bad, but o well.'

>>okay, to explain the optimism thing at the begining.
When we started talking about the trip to Cali for Music in the Parks '07 Alvarez mentioned that, for those of us returning to choir, she wanted to do Music in the Parks again next year... but she also wanted to take just the choir on a trip outta state. She had said maybe New York, Hawaii, or Florida... that those are the top 3 on her list. She said Florida and I just lit up... I think she saw it too. Well as we got closer to our departure date for California she started just saying New York... like Florida was out of the question. I felt like crying. And for the longest time we discussed it as the trip to New York over Spring Break. I didn't like how that sounded so I'd pout and half tune her out when she started talking about it.

>>Well, the week before school ended she had to go away to take care of some arrangements for her father [RIP Mr. Alvarez]... and the week of exams she was gone until the last day of school. Well, while the class was testing I was in her office finalizing grades and stuff in the gradebook and we started talking. She said that while she was gone Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday she had been at this meeting/ convention thing. And yea... the bit I sent to Justin explains that.

>>So, yea... I'm really happy and I'm really hoping she goes with what she was saying and chooses Florida. Plus... c'mon, she loves me... she should choose Florida cause it's my last year in highschool... the last year she'll have me in choir. I really hope she does... if not, then I'm going to New York for a week... blech... I haven't been there in like 12-ish years, since my father's funeral... and I really don't wanna go back unless I can go to the cemetary to visit him... and I probably wouldn't be allowed to being with the choir.

>>O yea, and this is what she sent me about the dates for stuff... she's not giving up any hints of where we're going yet tho:
>"Hey Lori!!

I have not been able to solidify the exact dates of our trip yet, but I know that I am leaning towards being gone the Thursday/Friday before break until about Wednesday during spring break. the official dates of spring break are March 17-21, and the Department Music in the Parks trip will probably be in early May again.
As soon as things are more solid, I will definitely let you know! Hope your summer has been good so far,
Ms. A"

>>hopefully when she gets back to me she knows where we're going and she lets me know... if not then I guess I wait till day 1 of school to find out [which sucks balls]. And I guess I'll really start looking for a job once we get back from Arizona and Cheryl's out here. Hopefully I can find something so mom doesn't have to pay for everything herself next year... cause I plan on doing everything I can [most probably with Malou]... until I find out more... farewell on this topic