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For all the cows..
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I'm having one of those days.
Thursday. 7.16.09 10:08 pm
You all know the kind I mean. The kind where nothing goes right. The kind where your first plan doesn't happen so you make a back-up plan and that goes wrong too. My first plan was to have been at poetry writing group but this afternoon I felt horrible so I opted to cancel my ride. Of course, by the time 5pm rolled around I felt better but couldn't reschedule the ride. As a back-up plan I opted to attend the Farmer's Market in town. However, I discovered that my ATM card didn't work because I'd reported fraudulent charges on it so there was no Farmer's Market for me.

After that, I came home, called my mom to ask if she could lend me $50.00 out of my birthday money that she still has custody of. That led to a long mother lecture which of course is not what you're in the mood for when you found out that your ATM card doesn't work and your plans have all gone to hell. So this evening I basically sat around listening to a book and playing a video game which raises money for disability rights. At least that's good. I decided, however, to at least write a little bit so this day wasn't a complete loss. Also, in a final dose of "who in the universe did I piss off?" I was going to try getting into my wheelchair on my bad leg tomorrow to give my good leg a rest but now my painkillers are gone. I don't really want to try that with no pain killers so I guess it's off to the doctor with me tomorrow. Can anything else happen?

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Monday. 7.13.09 10:55 am
I'm nearly 1/6 of the way to pay out here. Twenty bucks is a lot to earn just for posting blogs. But at least when I finally do get it done, I predict that to be June 2010 if I keep at it regularly. If I truly want to get the money, I need to remember to post her most days, even if I'm busy.

I have already completed a bunch of errands today. I sent my PCA to the library, grocery, and post office. I've sent Facebook messages to two people. I'm waiting for my PCA to come back so I can get washed up on top. I ran out of soap you see, so I couldn't get clean this morning.

I have tons of projects to keep me busy today- a deadline looms, I have an essay to begin, a few poems to complete and edit, then, I will post on all my sites, and work on something for ex (who I am hoping to get back with). I must post two blogs on blogit, answer questions in mylot, and post in post parker. Plus work on those essays. Lovely day (full of plans) and it doesn't involve leaving my house.

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How many chances do you give a person?
Wednesday. 7.8.09 7:28 pm
This is yet another Andrew blog even though I said I wasn't going to write anymore. Now, he says he wants to come here in August and bring his folks with him which is okay by me as long as they don't get crazy. I told him he could have my assistant who's returning to school's old shifts when she gives them up to return to school in September. But then I was actually strict with him and told him that if he wants the job guarantee which I've given him he needs to be here by September whatever his folks say. I said, "I like you but not more than myself." I'm not going to endanger my health, well being or assistant services just to help somebody out. That's stupid. I think he may have grown up a little in this conversation. God knows he needs to.

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I thought I was going to be happy today.
Tuesday. 7.7.09 6:41 pm
...but no such luck. Now, I have my friends crazy mother who thinks that she can bully me into stopping trying to help him live on his own. Sorry lady. Not gonna happen. Move on. Realizing your kid is a grown up might be a start. Secondly, I have no ATM card for ten days as mine is missing and it takes a maximum of 10 days to replace it in the mail. Thirdly, I'm really tired. The only thing I'm happy about is my knee which seems to be on the mend. Although, everytime I say that something else happens. But, at least today when I got up I went to the toilet instead of the bed pan. That's progress. Even if it's small progress I'll take it.

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July 4th
Saturday. 7.4.09 2:03 pm
Because I can't go out on the 4th due to the buses not running, and I'm not in good enough physical shape given my knee to bend myself into a car (which is always unpleasant regardless of what shape my knee is in) I've planned my own little 4th of July celebration. It includes finishing the Watcher (a Dean Koontz audio book I'm listening to) while playing games at iwon to earn money for ADAPT in the team challenge there. I''ll also watch Independence Day. The only place I can find it broadcast in on the Spanish channel which seems stupid to me, but I figure even if I don't speak the language I know enough to know what's going on. Will Smith is hot regardless of whatever his mouth is saying. I'll watch it just to see him even if I can't understand what he's saying. Sometimes I swear that that man is the only actual proof that I have that I'm bi. Regular ordinary men who I might meet tend to annoy me too much. But, Will Smith is unattainable and married. That's okay. No risk of annoyance. I can just stare without being rude because he can't seem me staring at him on the T.V. nor would he care if he did.

I tried to transfer in my normal way out of bed but it was nearly too much for my left knee to bear. I'll try again in a week. Maybe I'll try first to get into bed using the left knee as a stepping stone. One of my assistants suggested that. Poor girl. I scratched her with my nails today as she was putting me in the chair. Luckily, no blood. Whenever anything painful or unexpected happens I revert back to what they told me in therapy as a kid. Just hold on as hard as you can and it will be over soon. This doesn't work so well with people. Great for grab bars but not so much with actual flesh with nerve endings attached to it.

The other thing I'm going to do today is watch the Nathan's hot dog eating contest. I don't know why I became so attached to this event but I watch it every year on ESPN. It's probably the only time all year ESPN is on my T.V. for more than 2 seconds when I'm channeling surfing. Have a nice 4th everyone! Eat some barbecue since I can't find any!

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Issues
Friday. 7.3.09 11:07 pm
My friend, who I'm helping escape from TN, has informed me that his step dad has told him that his mom is his guardian is him even though he can vote and he's 27. I hoping they are wrong, and just trying scare him into not leaving. If not, I'll get a lawyer to help him out. If need be, I'll marry him so that I can be his guardian. Of course, it will be a fake this (he got a gf; I want to get make with my ex). Both would understand. I hope!!

Well maybe, as I said, they are lying. We'll find out. I want to take him to the SSI office right when we gt here to deal issues right away. I need to be in charge of his money I can do that, too. Also we can call the Disability Law Center and Stavros.

All this worrying might be for not. I'm going to pray about it. If there truly is a God nothing will go wrong in the long run.

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