...Well Last night Megan came over and we hung out here. Then we decided to watch
Super Troopers...ha what a great movie. Then we watched Music Videos till like 12 or so?.
Then Megan got Hungry so I made Spaghetti!!! Yumm..! And we ate it all up!...Then Megans
Mom let Megan sleep over and now it was about 1 or so then my daddy came home. And
I didnt really wanna be around him so we went in my room and megan was like passing out. So we watched the Cobsys then we went to bed! We got up around 1..lol and she had to go home. Woweeesss im really gonna miss her when she moves!!...but anyway Nick
dumped me again. But only this time Im cool with it. Maybe hes right maybe we dont
have anything in common. But If we didn't then why did we go out for a year and like 2
months? No clue. But Ive decided im gonna move on. I really am, im sick of fighting with
him. I cant stand one more fight. I dont need him. I mean yea he is a great guy but...
Lately hes been such a dickhead to me. Its unbelieveable I wouldnt have ever thought
he would have been like this. But withen that year we went out. I wouldnt have changed
anything between us. He was probably the best year of my life. He taught me to believe
in my self, to not care what other people thought of me. I really love him for that. And yea
I still have feelings for him. I still really like him. But im not sure if I would go back out
with him..*sigh*







...missyoumom

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Well...like always Nick dumped me again. But only this time I really didn't care. I dont
really care about him anymore. I realized I have to much shit going on in my life that
I dont need him anymore. He hasnt ever been there for me, and im sick of his shit. Maybe
you could say I gave up on him, but at the same time I really still like him and have
feelings for him. But I decided I don't need him anymore, maybe I do, maybe I don't.
But everyone always said do what you want to do...and I wanna do this. Maybe Ill get
back together with him later but right now I just wanna stay single and I kinda like some
one else but I dont know. I just gotta get my life in order right now. Everyones telling me
I cant do nothing right and Im a fuck up. Everyone gave up on me. Even my family
But I know I can always count on Kayla and Megan and Mara. They have been there
through thick and thin. But things with me and Nick...I dunno anymore I think were completly over. Even tho I still have feelings for him but Im sick of all his shit...im sick of
crying over him I really dont deserve it. Maybe I do b/c im such a bitch to him but that was
the past. But its the present now. Soo who knows...
Ill right later

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between now and last year, alot has happened to me. When I think about it, it don't seem like very much, but when I look back on everything...I realized I've cried enough tears to double the size of the...Atlantic Ocean? Mom died, Joe Turned 16 and has left....Mara, and all the little thing's in between. I dunno, it's been a really quick moving year and it may have been hard but I've enjoyed every minute of it and wouldn't change a thing. All the hours I've cried, I wouldn't change them. They've made me who I am today, and hey...maybe you don't like me, but I don't care. Maybe the up-coming year will be better. Thx to all my friend's who made this year a great year and were supportive of me every step of the way. Just think about this



You only get one chance to live life the way you want to. Don't let anyone else's actions or words influence the way you live it, but don't put yourself in the position where you can ruin something you treasure. Life is full of twists and turns, so be careful and watch out where you're going. Think about how your next action could influence the rest of your life.

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Geez...I havent updated this thing in a while. But everything is getting better. Me and
Nick are back together. He asked me out again!...Im really happy about that and I guess
things have been getting better. Me and Nick havent been talkin much...I mean with
Christmas and New Years comming up...I guess we have been spending alot of time with
are families...but I really miss talkin to him...but i am really lucky to be goin back out with
him..But like usally my dad is being the biggest asshole ever, Wow I really hate him
I told him on Christmas I would do anything if I could just shot him in the head...ewww
I hate him I really do I wish I could just ran away and never see his face again..and
hes still bitching about the car accident...he should be thankful everyones okay...but no
hes bitching about the money...but hes always the one who told me "moneys not everything" then wtf are u doing now asshole? geez what a dickface. But I guess I do
sorta love him. But you can never count on him for anything. Never its always about something else, like work, or the church i mean dont get me wrong I like goin to church
and shit...but I mean I just dont get it if something really meant something to me then why couldnt he just be there? And he had to ASK some guy to take off for my moms andversary. Cmon now you should just immdealty be off. I guess I should just be happy with my life...who knows






<33Nick

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Wow...I really thought when Nick said he would love me forever...he meant it but now I
guess he really didnt...and I know he has moved on but I just cant help the fact that he
has moved on...and yet I know everyone has to move on. But why now? I cant stand it
I love him more then anything and he just cant hear me out no matter what I do...
He "doesnt care" well if he really loved me then he would care I write him all these things
and all he says Its not gonna work out? How do u think it would make him feel? ....wow
I really love him...and like they say you should appricate everything you have when you
have it...Well I guess I didn't...And I know I made alot of mistakes but only If I could just
start my whole life over I would change ALOT of things between me and him...And yet
I know he has moved on and probably likes someone else..but still what about all those times when he asked me for chances and I gave it to him? Well now I just want One chance
and I swear Ill make it up I *Promise*...Nick why cant you see that were meant to be
together...forever...at least I want it to last forever and you said it would...but I guess
it was all a lie...when he said he would love me forever and he would always be tehre for
me ...well I guess it was all a lie? and I cant do anything to chance that...I wish I could
but I cant...I try so hard to make him happy...and yet all I get "Its not gonna work" I
know it can...he just has to give me a chance and ill show him...Ill give him all I have
untill I have nothing to give to him....Only if he can just hear me out and hear how much I
love him and how much he means to me...Only if he could have heard me cryin...
but I guess hell never know how much he means to me....but I really guess I should give
up...maybe I should maybe I shouldnt but...I just dont I want him hear for me...I dont wanna move on but everyone says I should but I cant...no matter what I do I alwyas end
up thinkin of him...I do truely love him more then anything and he has to understand that
I would give my life for him in a second....He just can't understand...how much I want him hear for me especially now when I miss Nick the most...and yet he doesnt understand
If I die tomorrow...he probably woudnt even care...all I can say is Sorry and yet its not
could enough for him...I remember all those long talks we had when we were up till 2
just talkin about absousley norhing...but still I remember those nights like yesterday....
Nick, Just stop and think about how many memories we had with eachother...dont tell
me u gave up..I know u didnt...I love you Nicholas James Marcucci...and I always will

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