Merry Christmas again everyone. I figured I'd include my cute little X-mas pic in this one since I finally remembered to put it on photobucket. My day pretty much sucked. I only got like 4 things, my favs are the carebear and the cd which i was wrong about. It's not Kelly Clarckson, it's Hoobastank. I also got a calendar (Tweety bird) and a realkly weird snoglobe. Well, that's pretty much it I guess. Love, Monkey

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Merry X-mas everyone! It's about quarter to 5 and i haven't slept any since I figured i'd be up early cause of Matthew. As a matter of fact I've been on the computer most of the night. Just recently I came across the "perfect" way to great today (this is the not so Christian side of me speeking) click here. See what I mean? I'm waiting for my mom to get home from work so I can open my presents... i already kno 2 things that I got. I got a carebear -claps- (Goodluck bear the one that's on my profile) and a CD, I think it's Kelly Clarkson. Right now I probably look like even more of a total freak... I've got a silver-ish bow tied to my head. Yes, I took the sticky thing off of it and put a string thru the staple (it wouldn't stay on and I got pissed at it). I saw Ravon yesterday even tho i wasn't really xpecting to. >he's my neighbor< -thinks- or is it Revon? O well... it's not like he's gonna see this. Anywho... I think he really likes the idea of he can call me a loser and it doesn't really affect me at all, cause I kno i'm a loser and a freak. (GO STUPERFREAKS! lol... a club me and sum of my friends have. I'm the "office ho" it was my only way to stay in the main office and still have fun.) Hm, maybe l8r I can get sum1 to take a pic of me w/ the digital so u ppl can finally see what I look like... in sum cases, so u can see how much i have/ haven't changed. And if I do get sum1 to take it i'm gonna make sure i have my bow on -> it's sexy. I feel like I've gotten too lazy, I haven't really done any running or even that much walking so far durring the break... and i'm not exactly planning on it either. Just hope Ms. Evans doesn't make us run on our first day back. Well that's about it... so goodnight - i mean goodmorning - i mean....... aww fuck it, merry christmas. ((( hugs ))) <3Monkey

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blah, i'm bored. There's nothing to do, and my ear hurts. Ok, my now up-dated count. My right ear = 4 holes and one in my cartilage. My left ear = 4 holes and two in my cartilage. I think I'm done w/ peircings for now... @ least until I can get a big enough needle to peirce my belly botton -> and when I do I have to keep it hidden. Either that or I keep begging my mom to let me get @ least one peircing when I'm 16, if she says yes, then it's gonna be my tongue. Well, that's about it. Goodnight. Love, Monkey

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I've added on more to my story just recently. If you wish to view it go to my "reading room" and click on The Thorned Rose. That is all, I just wished to advertise myself. <3 Monkey

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mood: sad / very emotional
listening to: lotz of different sad songs

Its been so long since i've actually cried, that now that I want to they won't come. Its like I've held them back for so long that now they don't wanna come. Talking to Ash about relationships... moreso about Justin and what all went on right b4 I left, right now all I wanna do is cry. I did the dumb thing and listened to I Miss You and remembered the day b4 I left I'd listened to it & i was pacing around my driveway (cause that was the only place I could cry w/o my parents getting mad at me) and then like 10 min later Justin came over & I just cried. Iwas so stupid to never say anything... and to act like I hated him, and in the end it all came back to me and kicked me in the ass. I wanted to run, so I could stay in Fla forever, but I was afraid that if I ever wanted to see my mom again that I wouldn't be able to find her. I just wanna rewind time and live that year and a half all over. Only I wouldn't go back just to change it to how it should've been... I'd do all of it the same way-> I'd do it all exactly the same way, because that's what I remember and that's what I loved & had so much fun doin. And that's what I miss... I miss how things were, not how they should've been. I'd do it mostly for my friends. OMG I miss u all sooooo much. And I love u all too. U cared about me, u're my family, and ur the reason I'm still alive. The ppl I kno out here haven't really done anything for me... u actually saved my life. U all didn't just think I should get help, you made me get help. And I'm thankful for it, no matter how much I complained I'm thankful. I shall end now. I don't want to just keep repeating myself over and over again. Love, Monkey

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It's hard to belive that it's Tuesday. Everything's goin really slow since there's no school. It's had to tell what day it is & it's hard to determine the time too. I'm usually good w/ the whole thing of guessing the time, but not anymore.

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