"... What about the people? How do they compare --- here, and there?"

"They're different. I remember when a day that I went to the store when my mom and I first came here. People would just start smiling at us and say hello--- that stuff doesn't happen in California; people aren't as friendly"

The more I thought about her words, the more I agreed. Granted, there are some Texans that have been mean to me, and some westerners that I hope to see in the midnight hour(anyonecatchthat?), but the majority of the people I've met down here are generally sweet people.

Kathleen, the woman with whom I conversed, grew up in both Austin and the Bay Area. I saw her sitting outside beneath on a stone slab beneath a tree, watching people go by.

"I love my state," I tell her with my eyes fixated on the sunny blue sky above. "Maybe I should just stay here..."







I remained silent. She says that people are friendly here, they smile at you and thought it was weird. in california people keep to themselves. A conversation I had with Camille and Jessica about ne wyork made them seem worse.


Maybe I should stick to the Great State of Texas.

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"What do you want to do?" Benjamin asks from the backseat of Vee's car. I'm riding shotgun beside the woman with whom I spent the night before.

"I wan--.. " I paused and turned my head to look at him. Then at her. Then out the window.

I turned into DMX and yelled at the two of them: "How many times do I have to tell you cats I have no friends!!!" I opened the door, then slammed it shut when I got out and walked home...






okay, not really.

"..That's personal," I say while staring straight ahead.
"Fair enough," he says before changing the subject..

I'm close to them. I'm closer to Ben than I am any other man, outside of my roomie Mattyoo, in this town. Ienjoy his co mpany and we hang out on a regular basis.

Vee... I love the woman. We had another dinner date a few nights ago that was followed by hours of laying in her car and watching the stars.




And yet...
... yeah ...



I've been never one to buckle under pressure--- mostly because I've never felt any. As a wise, dilated individual named Jon would coyly state, "Hard to feel peer pressure when you have no peers."

But now... I'm feeling it. Heavily.


This road I've chosen is not fueled by my own avarice. I'm not driven by the glory, nor fame.. yet.. I fear that I'll have to see things even more in black and white than I already do. Right and wrong, good and bad, nutang and facebook/myspace/everyotheronlinething..

Maybe she's right. Perhaps I should just write..

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