With one arm securely nestled around the small of her back, I pulled Elvia closer to me after she hopped down from a footstool. "C'mon, lets go," I tell her before picking her up with one arm and carrying her away from the bookshelf she was organizing. With one arm flung over my shoulders and the other resting at her side, she allowed her body to ease into mine as I walked us away.

With both a simple "peace out" and a smile, I set her down after a few paces and proceeded on my way to the library.

The book I needed wasn't in, so I went on about my business to class, and then caught the bus to the University Dormitories a half mile away to check the status of my application to become a Resident Assistant.

I was put on the alternate list. The powers that be don't think that I'd be able to handle the 20 hour job of being an R.A. ontop of volunteering at the rape crisis center weekly, doing my big brother/big sisters of america thing weekly, being a staff writer and copyeditor at the local university newspaper ( as well as being a photographer for 'em. More on that later. ), continue being the Vice President of the University's Honors College ( Maybe president next fall if I decide to run, ) and working as a peer tutor all at the same time.

I agree with 'em... but I still would've liked to have gotten the job. I walked the half mile back to campus and went to the Peer Tutoring office for a weekly meeting. We played Taboo. I lost the game for my team. Went throughout the rest of my day and now I'm sitting at a local coffee shop and enjoying a live jazz concert, trying to relax before my big day tomorrow. More on that in the upcoming weeks.


Oh, and about photography... I learned how to take pictures using a film camera right before digital cameras became the norm. Personally, I think that digital cameras have cheapened the art of photography; anyone can just point and click now. Back in my day, we used to have to manually focus everything and get perfect timing for a good shot. Not to mention getting an authentic flash adapter to stick into my 1970 Minolta and--- ... Nevermind.

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I'm standing in the middle of a market, wearing my dress slacks and fancy sweater when she drops the bomb on me:

"There's just no way, Jon," Caitlin says frankly.

My world stops.



"Oh."


"I just don't have the money," she speaks quickly, but I'm not hearing so well.


"Oh."


"I want to.. I really do," her voice begins to trail off in my head. My friend, Stefan, who accompanied me to a fundraiser dinner begins to call out my name. I stand still.


"Yeah."


"My dad said he could help me out at the end of March, but that would be too late by then...," she tells me. She's worried. I can hear it in her voice.


"Oh."


"Jon? Are you alright?"


" ... " I don't answer.


"...?" She lets the question hang in the air.

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