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For all the cows..
Beginner's Guide (PDF file)
The Grant Poem
Tuesday. 10.28.08 12:32 am
This is a quote from A Room of Own; the poem below was inspired by it

�Women have sat indoors all these millions of years, so that by this time, the very walls are permeated by their creative force, which has, indeed so overcharged the capacity of bricks and mortar that it must needs harness itself to pens and brushes and business and politics."

Seeking Godess
Women artists globally await the muse;
Anticipate her arrival in our alcoves,
tenements, and sitting rooms; wherever we find
one moment�s pause-
when children nap,
watching for the pizza boy
during our one, weekly night
exempt from making dinner,
at the day job from we�ll happily be parted from
when our genius is recognized.

Even though generations of men-
have discouraged us
and some women, too,
fearful that our creative gifts
will make strangers mock our upbringing.

Many sisters
give up the dream;
relegate prose, paints, politics
to the back burner, opting to pursue
the practical instead.

Yet,
in some of us,
the artist�s voice will not be silenced.

Decision made, we must muddle
through dead end employment;
spending every spare cent on supplies
necessary to practice chosen craft.
We harness the courage
of those who came before us.

Somehow knowing these difficulties
demarcate our destinies;
labeling us different from our more rational counterparts.

Sisters that we,
women of muse, sometimes envy
in spite of ourselves;
though, more often, we weep for them
and the visions we realize they needed to forsake
in order to follow the more systematic route.

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Housing and Grant...
Monday. 10.27.08 1:02 pm
Well, I turned in my housing form and it looks good. I'll probably move in January. The landlord is nice, why nicer than the one I currently I have. My mom will be my guarantor. However, if I don't pay I'll be in big trouble with her. I'm going to send Celina to get my book Then she can type in the poem for me, which will let me finish the grant application. I have writing group tomorrow so I'll let them review it before I mail it in.

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Grants
Sunday. 10.26.08 7:29 pm
I have picked out 5 poems to send to the grant committee. I need to go to Food for Thought books to retrieve one book is for some reason missing. I'm glad I have a way to get a copy and that it's not the last minute. Hell, I have 5 days to complete the process. Lots of time for me! I finished everything accept the writing sample and the Lists Section.
Now, all I need to do is correct anything.

I'm glad Celina is coming tomorrow. She's a good girl with typing and editing and will push me to finish the application by my goal of sending it on Wednesday. I've only written two blogs today, a monthly low for me. On Friday, I'm going to for payout really hard to compete payout in another "pay to post" site called Mylot.

I'm also planning to work on Gemini zine!

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Letter mailed and Insomnia!
Saturday. 10.25.08 12:01 pm
I am up so early today. I didn't get any sleep last night; I'm serious, I got like 2 hours of sleep last night My poor assistant got about 4. I got out of bed at around 8:30 AM and I have been working since I woke up. I blogged; this is my third blog today. I completed my Micheal Savage letter and mailed it out, return receipt requested (of course, my mama didn't raise no fool).

I read 20 pages of A Room of One's Own at 6 in the morning. My insomnia was caused by needing to take double prednisone, which is never a good idea. But now, I'm back on my regular meds (two separate allergy drugs prednisone and hydroxizine), which is much happier for my body.

Now, I think I'm off to bed for a brief nap. Hope I Sleep.

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This Writer's Prise of Self (a rarity)
Friday. 10.24.08 9:40 pm
I have worked all day since 11:30 AM. I think this is the first 8 hour day I've worked in my life. Tomorrow and the rest of today, once my TV and blogging break finishes around 11:30, I'll finish the book. I need to finish the book tomorrow, so I can start my last essay. By Sunday, the entire application will be rough draft finished and two pages of the Gemini zine will be done, along with 5 blogs. This is one busy weekend! I'm proud of myself, though, for being this disciplined. I'm not a big discipline person (I don't think any artist is).

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Grants, PMS, and moving
Friday. 10.24.08 3:43 pm
I'm feeling pretty bad as I know I am going to get my period tomorrow or sometime soon, which always leads me to feel bad. Today I had to force myself to get out of my nice warm bed and work on the grant I have due next Friday as well as the housing application which is due Monday, when I'm going to hand it in. I hope they accept me, I really do because presently I'm spending $400 a month using the paratransit service. If I lived in Northampton, which is more centrally located to what I do, I would be able to merely take the bus. Bus passes cost $20 if you are disabled. Way better economic deal. Also, Northampton is more fun.

Most of my PCA's say they'll be able to stay with me so I shouldn't have a problem there. Also, people who used to work for me but stopped because they lived too far away and gas prices are too insane would come back to work for me. People would be able to stop by and visit me much more easily. I'm so excited. I'll cry, I swear, if they don't pick me. I've worked so hard. I've had a job for a year, I'm busily applying to various writer's grants, I'm definitely moving up in the world. Living in Belchertown is not helping me achieve that goal, though. As much as I like my little town, it is time for me to move on. It's not like I won't ever come here again. Northampton is only 45 minutes away, if that. It's just that my life will improve. And isn't that the goal of everyone? To have every year be better than the one before?

I'm almost through with the grant stuff although I have to wait on an e-mail from the application people and finish a book to complete the last essay. I'll definitely be done by Friday, the deadline, and hopefully Thursday so I'm not rushing around. Why do I always wait until the last minute to finish important things? I don't know but I don't seem to be able to write when I have days and days to do it. God knows I've tried. I guess I'm a kind of last minute producer. Well, at least I produce somehow.

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