i want to cry and yet i feel nothing.

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well, i am going to prom with j. i think it will be fun. he'll make me laugh and pay attention to me, and all my friends won't hate him. and chris has pretty much screwed things up in too many ways. i know he says he cares, but actions speak louder than words. and his actions say that he doesn't really care.
and on a lighter note, someday i want to look like this
on the left is the gorgeous monica brant. my favorite fitness model. she wins fitness competitions all the time and that makes her awesome. the other two are victoria's secret models. the one on the right is what i want to look like and the one on the bottom has abs like i want. and what i really want to look like is this. apparently some believe it is semi-possible, but i shall work for it anyway. man, those are some nice arms!
sometimes i feel like that.

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so, right now i have a pounding headache. yes, pounding. medicine you ask. well, i don't really like to take medicine very much, but i did take two advil an hour ago because it's so bad. of course, they haven't helped at all. so, i continue to feel like there is a bass drum in my head. possible causes of this headache - ap tests, my psycho english teacher or the most likely, prom! dundundun. yeah, of all the issues i could have, mine is chosing which date to go with. most would think this is a good problem, but i have this problem with not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings. so here's what i have to chose from.
guy a : original asker, have much in common with, cheated on me, still care about him, friends don't like him, could talk to him for hours, really cares about me, makes me smile, tall dark and handsome.
guy b : second asker, definite back-up, funny kid, adorable, also quite cute, don't know him very well, ashley really likes him in that totally platonic way, has a car and job and is in school.
see, pros and cons to each boy. the dilemma is that i still really care about guy a, but i think guy b could also be a good one. he would take care of me for a change. and he's one fun kid. but do we have as much in common, does he have as good taste in music and movies as boy a? oye. too much for me think about. my head hurts too much. what should i do?

oh, btw, this is the link to my old journal in case you want to know what was going on before today.

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yup, i've finally gotten my ass over here. okok, so i've been preoccupied with the other journal, but i was quite amazed with the features of this one. so here i am. and update i will. after all, i was the beginning of all this online journaling business. listening to: victor wooten mood: tired

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