"I wish I could be
every little thing you wanted
all the time
some times" - every little thing, dishwalla

why is it always when i think i finally found someone it just seems so bleak again.. not that the world is unfair.. my life is just as such.. confused yet again, suddenly feel like crying i don't know why.

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had my comms ball the other day. brought denise along cos my girlfriend was still overseas. Was like just another formal dinner, a bit like graduation ball maybe better, but not the food. But the best thing was that i actually won something from the lucky draw, which in my whole entire life i have never won anything before!! I won the first prize for the day, which was a complimentary one night stay in Sheraton Towers (duh!). It was pretty cool to finally win something, but then realised that the stay was for that night specifically, usually the committee would take the stay and check in during noon time but they decided to give it out as a prize (double duhz). Anyway, had quite a fair bit of trouble because i was definately not prepared to stay, so asked around if anyone who needed it more than me (especially some individuals lol). Turns out nobody could make it at teh last moment so decided to check in anyway and see how, but in the end took so long already the person that suppose to hand over to me left already!! more trouble and waiting (apologies to denise for making you wait so long). Anyhow, by the time i took over the key and went in was like 12 am, and in less than 12 hours i would have to check out. Then still had to pay 100 dollars deposit!! Dont have so much money on me and denise had to lend me money so pai seh!! In the end sent denise to meet her friends and then brouht my parents over and we ordered supper via the room service after which they left. The hotel was actually not too bad, quite nice. I soaked in the bath tub and went downstairs to watch soccer, realised i was too tired to stay awake watching and went upstairs to crash on the king sized bed with fluffy pillows. Initially wanted to wake up at 9 to watch some cartoons but my body let me down. Thankfully my mother called around 11 to wake me up so i could manage to check out on time. Pretty sums up my weekend that day.

Just had some parade today, the institute commander was stepping down and a new commander was posted in so they had some ceremony and stuff. After which there was a happy hour for them and to our horror, we were obliged to attend. Food was crappy as it was the cookhouse food.. had like 2 duty free beers and was sitting outside talking to my smoky friend when suddenly the chief or armour, a one star general sat beside us and a few warrants. Felt really weird when he tried to converse with us and all we could do was to be polite and laugh and smile. But not everyday that you get to talk to your general i guess. But then again, they should have this rule that generals shouldn't scare the shit out of their junior officers like that lol.

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had my commissioning parade yesterday. Officially marks the end of my 9 months of training i've received in OCS. Rather emotional day because really made me reflect on the months i've spent training, the toughness, the uncomfortable situations, the fun, and not to mention the good friends i have made. Thought i'd cry but didn't, teared up during rehearsals though, haha not sure why but found out i wasn't the only one also.

Still remembered the first day that i entered the place. How befitting that it started and ended on the very same parade square 9 months down the road. And how appropriate given the one year anniversary that i entered the service that i passed out. I still remember my first turnout, my first fieldcamp and the numerous occasions that i really thought i was never gonna make it. Now that i've completed them, feels as though it wasn't as bad as i thought. But looking at it collectively, honestly say that i am quite surprised and perhaps proud of myself being able to overcome myself. Well, like they say, many think there will be a magical effect once you put on the rank, and then you'll become a better person on that day. But what commander told us and i'll always remember will be that the transformation started on the first day we stepped in. The rank we wear will only be a piece of board on my shoulder. With or without it, we've already become a different person due to the experiences we gained.

Also more or less confirmed my posting and the unit that i will be going to. Pretty far from my house. Some conspiracy theory that they will post you to the furthest camp no matter where you live lol. Guess something slightly more worrying is that i heard my new job involves travelling a lot, which is reiterated by everyone i've talked to about it so far. Although i think it'll broaden my horizons to travel and learn and see a bigger picture of the army compared to some of my peers, can't help but feel afraid for the impact of it on my social and love life... I just hope that i'll find understanding people and good colleagues and have a fruitful and enjoyable another year of service till i ORD! =) Special thanks to all my friends who came down to see me too, thanks guys it meant a lot to me.


Some pictures from last night's events

Marching in to the parade square


Celebration!


Missing some friends here lol. thanks for coming


Wilson and me. Taken after the dinner. Couldn't find Wynn!!

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Finally, almost there. 2 days ago i left Stagmont. It marked the end of my 5 months of training at the home of signals and my course there. We had a certificate presentation ceremony and buffet dinner for the guests. As my parents couldn't make it, those without guests had the 'honour' of doing work during that day. I was the guardhouse usher/emcee for dinner/performer for dinner. Pretty rough week considering i also had my re-exercise. Our initial plan was to rest during the day and do the majority of the walking at night while the weather was more forgiving. But unfortunately think due to the time constraint on the instructors part, they pushed us non stop, so came back 12 hours earlier than expected. Surprised myself by being able to carry the signal set the whole way, and didn't get any cramps at all, just small blisters here and there.

Anyway, back to the event. Just a simple ceremony for the parents and invited friends to witness the end of our training with certs, awards and of course video presentation. Dinner was simple affair, buffet not that fantastic, but i didn't really get the chance to try much as i was running around, at times dunno whether is it me that is graduating since im doing quite a lot of work for them. Think regret a little for not bringing guests to be spared of all the extra curricular work lol, told my instructor that and he laughed lol. cool guy.

Our performance i felt wasn't as great as the previous one, but probably cos we were a little nervous. But we got better as each song went, feeling quite nice when people come up (even the bars and crabs) all excited and tell you they enjoyed it, cool.. now all we lack is groupies lol.

Miss my girl lot, frustrates me a lot that i can't be with her. Frustrates me more when our conversations are not as meaningful as it should be. Love her a lot but starting to feel as though i don't have a girlfriend anymore. Think i have a problem maintaining a serious relationship.

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been a pretty short and enjoyable week. Had off on tuesday and coupled with the public holiday, very short week indeed. Had range on wed and thurs, glad to obtain the marksman badge, was aiming for perfect score, but the nerves got to me in the end, but thankfully still had enough to cover to get the badge. Saw some Sof in action, quite cool, they really look as though they were carved out of rock, shan't elaborate. Next week's my last week in that camp, where ill finally be moving back for the home stretch. Will have to finish my re-exercise again, as i fell out, should be better this time im sure.

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