So long and goodnight..."


and thats all I need to say...night!




listening to: My Chemical Romance: Helena
mood: Blah

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

mood: Shitty
listening to: Kelly Clarkson- Behind Hazel Eyes




Oh yes it was kiddies. Lemme tell you what. :( Wellll I broke up with Skylar. Did anyone else see that coming? Yeah, I mean, I guess he took it pretty good, but I dunno. I didnt see him after it happened so I dont know if he left, or just avoided me the whole time. I feel really bad if that... makes... anyone think that Im less of a bitch. Wee! Anyways...last home game for softball tonight. Yeah we lost, and I was upset, and pissed. Whitney (a girl that graduated last year) brought us flowers. It was really nice of her. :) Anyways....I think Im gonna go to bed because I feel like shit, and..yeah..peace













For all its worth... Im sorry... and I still want to be your friend. Whenever you forgive me, let me know...

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Puppet! Yeah, have you ever had one of those days where you just listen to the same song over and over again? Yeah Im having one of those days and I cant stop it. Haha! It is pretty cool though. I never have really listened to this band and now I want their cd. Its funny how that happens. I didnt really do anything today. I spent the night at Amanda's last night. It was fun except we were both tired and went to sleep at like midnight and we didnt get up till 10. It felt sooo good sleeping in that late. I usually only sleep in at Amandas house and never at my house, its so weird. Anyways... I came home this morning, cleaned, got the newspaper, watched some tv, listened to some music, talked to Iggy and a buncha other people, took a shower, and now Im here writing in my journal to wrap up my day. Sometimes, I wish the journal would good me advice back because I have no friggin idea what to do with my life. Skylar and I kinda..got into a fight, it wasnt a fight, but it left me angry. lol... I was kinda pissed but what can ya do. Tomorrow is our last home game and it is against Athens and Im really hoping we kick their ass. :) They need their asses kicked by us, I swear to God.. hehehe. My ankle is better atleast I can say that much. Yeah baby! Anyways, Im going to go take some medicine and probably hop into my bed and sleep until my alarm clock off. Yeehaw... 5 in the morning comes to quick. I dont really get up at 5...more like 6.. but if I wake up later atleast I took a shower. :) Anyhoooo Peace out...Leaving you with lyrics tonight. Yes! Get EXCITED!


~* Sugarcult: Memory *~
This may never start.
We could fall apart.
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
I'll tear us apart.
Can I be your enemy?
Losing half a year.
Waiting for you here
I'd be your anything.

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
Tearing out my heart.
I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
(I'd be your memory)
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
We could fall apart
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?
Can I be your memory?


mood: Tired but Im okay..

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

Wow there is so much to say about this day that I have and yet its not over yet. It kinda sucked at the beginning but it got better as the day went on. Okay... so anyways, ya know how I was talking about my ankle? Well, I woke up at 4 because I had to PEE like a race horse, soooo I got up, and I couldnt really walk on my ankle but I had to pee...lol, so I somehow managed to go to the bathroom, then when I was coming out, I was literally in tears because my ankle so bad, I got to the computer room, sat down, and like... rested my ankle, then got up, and stood at the foot on my sisters bed and Im like, Heather, you have to help me the rest of the way, I cant walk on my ankle it hurts too bad. SOO! She helped me to my bed, and I laid down and she took one of my little pillows, and proped up my foot, checked it out, and she is like, it doesnt look like it broken, Ill get you some medicine and some water and you take that and it should reduce the swelling and youll get to sleep. She is the best sister ever I swear to God. Not many other sisters would do that....mine would. :) It hurt so bad and I wanted to cry...and she gave me her ankle brace to wear to practice. Which she is like make sure you tell your Coach so you dont run and dont do too much. Well, I ran anyways, and Coach was like why didnt you tell me, do what you can but dont over do it and ice it when you get home. I didnt ice it..I went to Elmira with Heather and Ben instead. Then I came home, and I had a friend of mine over that I havent really hung out with forever. He is a good kid though, and I missed hanging out with him. We went over to the park, then we went to go get ice cream. He really understands that emotions that Im going through, and I listen to him...I dunno why, it's weird I guess. Maybe it is because we have always been there for each other even though there was a time period that we hated each other's guts. I havent talked to Skylar at all today.... hmm..I dunno.. yeah..anyways.! AMANDA CALLED ME! I was so excited to hear from her so I might go to her house when she calls me back because they went to Walmart I think. I called her and she wasnt home so Im sure she will call me back. She has a job and everything now..its really interesting. Anyways I might be back later to write more, we'll see what happens. Peace..





listening to: Ashlee Simpson: LaLa
mood: Happy

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

Been awhile since Ive written in this puppy huh? Well well well! Whats going on in your world? Mine, is the still complicated mess that I put myself in that was going on like last week? Yes...we are talking about my relationship with Skylar. Well, I might say I think we are having problems, or atleast I still am...and he thinks everything is fine. I dunno, I guess I just....I dunno! *sighs* Its like the whole world is asking me to give, and I dont want too, and its saying do it, so I say FINE, and stomp my fight, and pout..and go on with everyday of my life being the same confusion, the same ole shit, but just a different day. Im getting really tired, and Im not feeling to great. Every muscle in my body is going friggin crazy and Im just like, I cant stop, I have to keep going. We lost to Wylausing tonight. Im not going to say we did great because personally, I played like shit. I dunno, I guess I was just thinking too much. I do better when I dont think at all I guess. I dunno, maybe Im just really tired, and Im making up excuses. Anyways, we have practice tomorrow at 10, which sucks, because I was really hoping that maybe she would give us it off and I could actually sleep in...ohhh probably not. I hate itttttt! Seriously, we need to do more living hitting instead of pitching of the pitching machine. Im getting nothing from it but seeing the same ole pitch every friggin time. Many people have said lets do some live pitching, but nooooo it never happens. Poor Sarah...I feel bad because I think her arm is going to fall off from pitching so much, and I guess I try to hard in the batters box to hit and go good, we atleast have a base runner so it wont be so hard on her. She is my idol...I swear, I love her to pieces, and she is hurting, Im sure, and I just want to give her a big hug. She probably doesnt want anyone to know about it and feel sorry for her, I wouldnt want that on myself, but people need to know that she is awesome for pitching and going through it all...I dunno what Im saying so Im going to stop now. Just know, Sarah is awesome! hehe... Anyways... I hurt my ankle tonight during warm ups..then I was running down the line and it like cracked and gave out on me and I fell...weird I know..but it happened. My ass hurts because the field was hard. Anyways, they are NTL champs..which they deserve it. I mean, people say they are bitches, but I mean, we could have been the same way. Right? People can call me a bitch, I dont care, I just.. I dunno, I think its hard to say that a team doesnt deserve it, well they did if they defeated everyone. Im not saying we couldnt have beat them, because we can, and we could have. But out bats SUCK ASS! Im going back to my original stance, and Im not doing what they tell me too, because obiviously, it is getting me friggin no where. I swear to God, Im getting so pissed off, and its doing me friggin nothing..GAH! I hate it... Anyways, enough complaining I guess...I have enough to think about. Right now, Im going to think about going to be and hopefully, try to goodnights sleep. I might take some Nyquil or something to calm me down...might work right? Right...peace






listening to: The Killers: Mr. Brightside
mood: Tired

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

because I really need too. *sighs* Life doesnt seem to becoming less...confusing. I really do like Skylar, but yet, apart of me, doesnt like how he says things to me or other people. Im not going to like go out and change the person that he is because that is who he is, and I respect that, just I dont know. Sometimes I feel like its two worlds and just....they are colliding and I cant do anything about it. I really like him, I dunno if I love him, but I like him...it just seems like he doesnt act like much of a boyfriend. God isnt that horriable and selfish of me to say? Omg..Im starting to sound like someone that I definatly dont want to sound like. *sighs* Im just not having a good beginning of the week I guess. I just want to go to bed and not get up in the morning and just run away from all my problems because I fucking cant deal with them. I need someone to seriously save me, and no one is hardly lending me a hand. I ask someone nicely, what would you do if you were me, and I get dump his sorry ass, and seriously...Excuse me..let's talk about all the guys you went out with and see how much worse they are compared to mine, thank you very much. I dont deserve Skylar...friggin hell..I just got told tonight that I dont deserve him. Then you know what you stupid people, friggin do it for me because obviously I have more heart, feeling, and care for this boy than you do. You have no fucking idea how much he doesnt deserve this shit that Im putting him through. Nothing at all. Seriously Skylar, answer me this...why did you want to be with me? Because Id sure as hell would love to know... Im sorry... Im tired and Im pissed..... I dunno what to do... maybe it is because I havent been alone with you in awhile.... I hate life right now, for some fucking reason it decided to screw me in the fucking ass... peace





listening to: Papa Roach: Scars
mood: Pissed

Comment! (1) | Recommend!