boys are difficult man. they never really tell you what they want. and that is so obnoxious. if you love me, tell me. if you hate me, tell me. if you want to date me, tell me. if you never want to talk to me, tell me. but don't just sit there and say nothing or make up excuses. that's just dumb. you have a voice, use it. all of you! and don't be shy or afraid to hurt my feelings or afraid of rejection. i don't bite. and you should live life to the fullest and not freak out over every little action. man, there are some people i know will never see this, yet, i really with they could. i wish there was like a world wide free forum that i could just show this to every guy that is and has ever been in my life. then maybe life would be easier on all of us.
i do really love boys though. they make such good friends, and they are so amusing. and most of them are quite adorable too.

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i didn't tell you about the ashley bonding time. basically, we are now married. first, at the restaurant we peed in front of each other. yup. that was a huge bonding thing right there! i haven't ever peed in front of a friend before. and then at kirsten's house, i put a spiderman tatoo on her butt. yeah, you know you wish you were me. oh, and before we went to kirsten's house, we changed in front of each other. but we have done that a couple times before. but man, it was a huge bonding day. i can't even tell you!

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yeah, it was special. i had a good time. so people whined and complained and nothing was good enough. but, you know, i had fun. and all the boys looked hot in their tuxes. yes, all my boys did. and galveston was fun. granted, mostly all we did was drive, but it was still a lot of fun. i was amused virtually the whole time. and when i wasn't, i was sleeping. so, i am really tired and maybe i'll post more later, but i can think no more.

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that has caused me so much stress. prom. yes, it is finally here. am i nervous?...no. excited?...a little. nauseous?...most definitely. but so goes most things in life. nausea always outweighs everyting. i have five minutes before i begin running around like a chicken with my head cut off. and what for? well, shecanery of course! but it is all good cause my daddy bought me cds last night. i think my parents are going to try to dote on me a little for the next few weeks before their baby moves out. so anyway, back to prom. i have to pick up the flowery crap, straighten my hair, go to make-up appointment, but bra and underwear for me and ash, to to hair appointment, paint my fingers and toes, eat something so i dont throw up on anybody and if i do it will be better, and then i think i will be almost done. oh! and i have to pack for the night. but that shouldn't entail too much. so, i'll tell ya'll how it goes later. much loves

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and those people make everyday worth living. sometimes i don't want to deal with life, but then they always manage to make me happy. and then i deal. thanks to all those people.

i finished my last ap test today. i am basically done with school. i have no class that i won't pass and only one class that may require a tiny bit of effort. so, basically i am home free for the next few weeks and then i am done with high school forever! yay! i am sorry to say that i won't miss high school itself. i will miss my friends sure, but not the lame people i see everyday and the endless, pointless classes. senior year has definitely been fun and i wouldn't trade it in for the world, but i am glad it is almost over. i am ready to move on to bigger and better things. i am terrified, but i think i am ready and i sure as hell am excited!

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well, i told lynn that i am giving my two weeks tomorrow. that's gonna suck, but it will be a relief too. and prom is getting to be really gay. i am so sick of planning it. i know it is all just going to blow up in my face. we'll be stranded in the middle of no where and have nothing to do and i'll be bored out of my mind. i just want it to be over so that i don't have to think about it anymore. but hey, i might get to 'camp out' in natalie's yard after our eco test on thursday. and that will pretty amusing. and somehow i was talked into working on friday. don't know how that happened. and i have to scrounge up $70 for the other half of my limo cost. and i don't get paid until friday. and the check won't be for very much and i still have to get underwear with ash and exchange my bra and have dinner and hotel? money and spending money for galveston. omg! i don't have that much money. oh yeah, and i have to pay for the hair and make-up appointments! shit! ahh, i am so screwed. but i mean, new job. that is sorta a good thing. i won't have to worry about money as much after i start that business. oye.

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