Not been feeling rather uppity-up recently.. Bogged down by a lot of personal issues that most people would find a waste of time? Hm..

Anyways, as the title goes, I will try to set out my list of goals/aims/targets/resolutions/whatever you call them. And then I'll try (note - try) to achieve them. Alright, I'll strive to have the conviction to make this all come to fruition. Sounds better eh.

To get an IPPT Gold on Tues?

Near impossible task I admit.. after my pull-ups deproved like mad over the past week and there's also a huge question mark hanging over SBJ as well. Was also contemplating seeing the MO on Monday to get status for my left foot which had been hurting like mad when walking barefooted.Then again, not very nice la.

There's also a personal reason why I want to get gold.. Guess my bunkmates would know. No, its not about the money (though another 100 bucks is very welcome tyvm) but rather the sense of pride and achievement (a gold badge on my No. 3 during passing out is better than a silver one no? Though having one is good enough alrd..).

Maybe getting this will assuage these feelings of mine. Bare consolation no doubt, but still better than nothing.

Who's the one to draw the line between friendship and love? When things become so blurred that's when things become complicated.

And that's maybe I should ponder about for the next few days.
Probably when I have to stand still for a prolonged period of time for drills and all.

In life, some things just never turn out the way you want them to. >.<

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050610, SAT

And so it was Sentosa once again with my College classmates. Was rather nostalgic that I would be celebrating my 6th month of compulsory national service at the very same pavilion (I'm too used to calling it a training shed) we went to in December '09 for out last gathering before I embarked on my NS journey, two months ahead of the rest.

Oh, we did pretty much the same things as well. Frisbee, snacking, endless rounds of street bridge, chatting, waiting for others to arrive, and me being labelled a drunkard yet again when I bought a can of beer from the convenience store (once again, and Silu won that particular bet with the rest).

Anyways, I always without fail enjoy spending my whole day with this particular group of people. There's always something to talk about, someone to poke fun at.

Six months ago we were all civilians waiting to board the Penguin ferry to the island of isolation. Now, the group last Sat comprised one OCT (sY), one Sispec Sgt-to-be (Jontay), one sea soldier (William), one medic (huyuan), one RP (Sunshuo), one MP (me), one technician (Louis), one clerk (Aaron) and one recruit (Samuel). Alright actually there were two recruits, as the sea solider had to shave everything for his course. Awww. Well, the ladies.. were still ladies (duhhh). Ok, working ladies to be accurate.


The things we do


Company Orderly Sergeant


Company chief clerk :D


Frisbee is very fun..

Until you turn and knock your head against a palm tree leaving a wound near the left eye with blood dripping onto the ground. Not a small cut indeed. Few more millimeters to the right and it'll be truly sayonara already. Thankful indeed that it was nothing worse. I think the whole course will not need to have someone else OOC after what happened the previous Friday especially with the end in sight >.<

We packed up soon after and headed over to Resorts World Sentosa for dinner. Astounded by the wide range of cuisines on offer, we decided to give RamenPlay a go. It was my first time there despite them having other franchises over at 313@Somerset and.. well, somewhere else. Indeed, I'm not as free as someone who can go shopping in town every other week partaking in the premium fare these establishments offer.



*Credits to Tiantian for the photos (I took them all from Facebook)

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.. to perform guard duty over at camp from 0730 hrs today to the corresponding time the next day.

So many things to write down.. =/
And I'm going back with a cut near my eye which had the potential to make me go out-of-course had it been a few more centimetres to the right.

Shall update you guys more the next book out.
Anyways, we're gonna be visiting the gas chamber on Tuesday. Ok, maybe not visiting.. but entering. Don't think I can enter with a fresh wound though haha. We shall see.. >.<

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Well, I'm sure everyone out there would have heard about the case the Commercial Affairs Department, with input from the Commissioner of Charities, opened against City Harvest Church and several of its board members.

I'm not in the position to comment on the specific facts of the case as the investigation is on-going (no one knows for sure what and who's involved), and thus what's been making rounds in the blogosphere is mostly based on here-say and speculation. Of course with a bit of drama added in as well.

What I'm dismayed is not with the church itself, but the way in which other Christians have taken this opportunity to attack CHC in this time of uncertainty. What's with alleged New Creation members posting online videos slamming Pst Kong and the church as well as the flames from members of other denominations. The Catholic Church - an otherwise major player, on the other hand, has been rather silent about the issue. In fact, many of the critics and detractors come from members of other denominations who sincerely believe that the church is a 'cult' and is 'inherently evil and destructive' and thinks that 'they deserve it'.

The basis for them saying so probably lies in the difference in doctrine, the glamor and glitz surrounding the senior pastor and his wife, and the wealth and sheer membership that smaller churches can only dream of having. Faced with all this, they resort to labeling all church-goers as 'blind sheep being 'led to their destruction'. I just want to query - It is a well known fact that the other denominations disagree with one another on basis of scripture and rituals as well; why have they not stirred up debate on these issues? Is it because they are part of an international organisation which sees no need to engage in theological discussions with other denominations as they are already contented with the status quo? If so, its no wonder they eye upstart charismatic churches with no set international leadership and direction with suspicion and will gladly see them get into hot soup with the authorities.

And when these congregations get too big and influential, they become ever looming threats to other smaller churches. I have not as of yet seen any marked backlash against NCC's teachings (granted that there's room for controversy in what they preach as well) and to the contrary they are able to peddle their products in secular bookstores such as Popular for quite some time now. Given that their senior pastor also enjoys a luxurious lifestyle and also has a mega new development in progress to boot, I cannot see why anyone has not attempted to question or check their finances.

What's etched in the public's minds about CHC is its phenomenal success in winning over impressionable teens as well as the vast amounts it collects via tithes and offerings. However, many do not realize that other churches evangelize amongst students as well (albeit on a much smaller scale yet through similar camps and cell gatherings) and also have substantial donations as well. What sets CHC apart from the rest is both the size of the congregation and its reserves. By extension, the more clout and members it has, the more they are able to call in foreign preachers of substantial pedigree to the pulpit and win over even more people.

And as this congregation grows to levels unseen before for a Singaporean church, things will inevitable get messy. To cope with the transformation from a simple humble gathering for tens of people to the thousands that throng the church halls each weekend requires much logistics and support services. And the church will inevitable want to keep all the money it spends on these 'within the family' - or simply put it, in ventures run by members of the church. Controversy will arise however when the directors of these companies that provide services to CHC sit on the church's board as well - A conflict of interest hence ensues. And with this in mind any transaction between the church and the companies involved will likely raise eyebrows as to whether there is a 'misappropriation of funds' or a 'criminal breach of trust' when donors' monies are concerned, which is a chargeable offence under the Penal Code as follows.

Chapter XVII of the Penal Code
Criminal breach of trust �
Criminal breach of trust is committed by a person who, being in any manner entrusted with property, or with any dominion over property, dishonestly misappropriates or converts to his or her own use that property, or dishonestly uses or disposes of that property in violation of any direction of law prescribing the mode in which such trust is to be discharged, or of any legal contract, express or implied, which he or she has made touching the discharge of such trust, or wilfully suffers any other person to do so. For instance, A, a warehouse-keeper, commits breach of trust if he dishonestly sells furniture belonging to Z who, intending to go on a journey, has entrusted the goods to A under a contract that it shall be returned on payment of a stipulated sum for warehouse room. The penalty is imprisonment for up to three years, or a fine, or both.

Many CHC members have pointed out in the aftermath of this news that their donations are given out of goodwill and that when giving, the donor is well aware that the money will be used by the church in any way that is prudent to their mission, and the fulfillment of the 'Cultural Mandate'.

Even so, many are rubbing their hands in glee at the expected destruction of the church from within with them 'lost sheep' scattering.. hopefully into their churches, which is pretty absurd to say the least. As of now since the facts of the case remain unknown to the general public, it would be unwise to speculate on the outcome of the investigation. No doubt however that this media barrage has lent much ammunition the the detractors of CHC, which is a pity indeed as some churches and members are now more focused on barracking City Harvest instead of winning the genuinely lost out in the streets and also strengthening their own congregations.

What's important in conclusion is that no matter which denomination (accepted by the mainstream) one belongs to, we are still Christians nonetheless, believing in the same God. Which denomination one chooses to side with is a matter of personal choice - and leaders of different denoms should seek instead towards understanding and reconciliation (which many are doing admirably). And if the two churches have a rivalry of bad blood they might as well mind their own businesses and focus on what God wanted them to do in the ending verses of first four books of the New Testament, instead of following what Man himself thinks he should do.

Once again, if the doctrine of CHC is really as unfounded and unnatural as some detractors claim it is, why would so many prominent intellectuals within the Christian community in SG make appearances at the services and even present a speech or two? And why again is it a member of the National Council of Churches and be allowed to participate in inter-denominational events such as the recently concluded 'Global Day of Prayer' and the annual 'Festival of Praise' which other mega-churches do not subscribe to?

This investigation is merely an inquiry to check out any financial irregularities between CHC and companies which their stakeholders have a stake in, especially board members, that could have occurred as a result of a conflict of interest. Also they are responding to claims that the church has pumped money into these companies (and as a result, they say, the money is not being used to further the cause of the church and God) to the benefit of certain individuals. What is certain however is that this whole saga is by no means an attack by the authorities on the church itself, which many out there prefer to see it as following the case of Ren Ci and the Venerable Ming Yi.

All Christians should instead join hands in praying for the investigations to produce an unbiased verdict and also for greater transparency in all our churches as an important step towards winning the public over to our cause. The ultimate loser in the squabble between churches are not the churches themselves, but Christianity in Singapore. Just imagine, what would the public think about your religion if all the dirty laundry is aired in public? Not very favorably I imagine. And this is what all of us should aim to avoid.

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CAMP

Legal knowledge test on Thursday, which we spent the whole week going sitting through lectures for. Passed on first try again like the Military law test the previous week. At least my hopes of going SIB ain't done and dusted yet.

Three PT sessions in the past week from Mon to Wed. The only thing I can say is.. 'Shiok sia!'. Then again you will feel like vomiting and falling out while in the actual process of training. Imagine us making friends with the four storey high slope on Mon - sprinting up it eight times, lunging upslope, wheelbarrowing our buddies up, along with static thrown into it with everything divided into appetizer, main course and desert.

Spartan training on Tues was.. wts man, my arms totally went limp after pull ups, crunches, log push ups, dips, monkey bar, pumping and so on. Cool. At least we managed to play soccer at night.. Then again some people played too violently and injured themselves with no one else to blame. Tsk.

That's probably why I could only muster around two mins plus per round on the track during Wed's speed training. =/ Couldn't help the section and by extension platoon sprint and try to win the long-running race.

In other news they chose the people for the PA positions already. I've a lot of comments on that which I will not type out. Mm I'll probably only explain my angst over the phone or in person.. Haven't told anyone about it yet surprisingly..

My buddy's chosen to do Gombak as well and body search Aaron at the gate every morning.
___________________________________________

OUT-OF-CAMP

Friday was a public holiday thus a few of us in the section decided to visit Greg's house for a game of mahjong. Then again, as I 'lian-zhuang' six times in total we were late in meeting the rest at St Wilfred's for our kickabout.

All was going well, then an unexpected yet shocking incident occurred which ended up in me sitting beside the driver as the ambulance raced towards SGH at over 100km/h. >.< Shall not divulge much here. Again, only over the phone to people I know very well.. =/ I left SGH after being there for close to 4 hrs.

And and that reminds me how screwed up our guard duty roster is. After rotating my friend in for Sat (we managed to do a three-way swap to ensure he did not get Friday, as it was unfair to just inform him on Thurs before bookout that he would be burning the next day). How the swap came about was due to the fact that the original guard on Friday was down with a foot injury. As he could not find a mutual swap for the Friday slot the Sgt got his chance to pick and just nice picked my friend out from next Sat's one (he wouldn't touch the rest as they are his section).

Then my friend ended up hospitalised. So he swapped this Sat's one with another bunkmate of ours who was earmarked for next next Sat as that would prevent the roster from snowballing and affecting all the reserves on subsequent days. Hopefully the sacrifice will allow him time to recover by then and save all the subsequent reserves from being snowballed.

The only reason why the snowballing occurs is due to the fact that
Let's say on Fri,
We have 8 ppl on duty, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H
Then I and J will be reserves.
On Sat,
I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P will be on duty,
with Q and R on standby.
On Sun,
Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X will mount
with Y and Z in reserve.

If A is down, I will be activated. Then Q will have to fill in for I on Sat as I will be doing on Friday. And then Y will be activated for Sunday and cause next weekend's reserves to be called up as well unless A's status is short-term. If its a long term MC like what my friend will get then snowballing will begin and they have to shift a lot of people up one day causing much disappointment and anger (as affected personnel have to cancel any plans they might have made). Worse still when the Sgt picked someone from the next week to fill in the next day's slot. At least they could have sounded off much earlier instead of just before book out.

Alright end of the math behind guard duty swapping.

On Saturday I attended NUS Law fac's Welcome Tea. Lol. Saw Yunheng and Marvin from HC. The supposed speeches ended very very quickly as it turned out to be a rather informal session. The pastries on offer were top notch though.. and they ordered A LOT of food. Better than what catered Chinese food during course cohesion the previous Thursday.

And then it was off to Citylink NYNY for dinner with the rest of our batch.. before heading to VCH to reserve two rows of seats with two people.. Lol. . Felt like a spoilt light bulb.

Concert was excellent (You can read all about it two posts down), and we had a great time. Too bad there weren't any night activities planned. And I had the next day free $&*%&%##& unlike some people who made plans already. I hate having my weekends free leaving me to rot at home. Even a morning jog with someone will suffice. Or lunch, or just plain chilling out.

Well.. Its not that I can't talk much to people.. I just need to get into the mood sometimes.. And definitely seeing someone face-to-face is much more conducive for conversations to take place than on the phone with deafening pauses. On Friday I was tasked with convey the news to my friends parents personally at SGH.. And we ended up chatting about so many things.. Most of the time I just need someone to talk first at times before I add in some witty (crappy) lines or share some related experiences. Personally I feel that I'm more of a listener than a conversation hogger and starter :D

___________________________________________

One year on, and nothing about that insipid r/s has changed much under the surface..
Maybe the status quo suits us all?
Or are we just waiting for something that will never happen?
Trust one's own intuition.. And follow through with whatever you feel is the best course of action..
___________________________________________

A burnt engine that cannot start your car well is just not worth the time you spend trying to maintain it.
- By me :D

Life sucks, life stinks, life is unfair but still, life goes on. Suck it up..
- Favourite quote I created in camp

鸡蛋!
- Most often used expression of shock, dismay, angst, disappointment that is not a vulgarity. (It just means 'egg' in Chinese). The reason why I use it as such is because it resembles a Hokkien vulgarity. I leave you guys to figure out which one.

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Two years on..
We're back at VCH once again.
The scene of our very first concert together as a batch.
Last one with the seniors..
My screwed up solo. (lol.)
Memories.. of having meals by the circular stairs behind the hall, the small dressing room that our whole section was allocated, photo taking sessions by the fountain.. and of course.. my class which turned up en masse to support the five of us on stage back then.

Well.. Now instead of performing we are now members of the audience, tantamount to amount of time that had elapsed since then. From novices we are now graduated alumni, like what Gordon mentioned, 'watching HcBand for the very first time'.

And what an unforgettable first time it turned out to be.

At the end of it all we agreed that the performance was excellent.. far better than the previous editions of Capriccio. The sound was there, dynamics, shaping and all.. the best of Mr. Leng's areas of expertise was on show last night. Probably because they had more time to practice, and also maybe due to the fact that the J2s are experienced old hands under him by now.

Especially enjoyed Leng conducting with a Mickey Mouse hat for Disney Fantasy, and also the gimmicks (: Wondergirls and College Anthem ensured a rousing finale.. too bad no High School Anthem. Apparently Tianhui banned them from playing it. Haha. Siewying was virtually dancing with the double bass, Wesley looked like a punkster on electric bass, Hongguang's solos were superb.. And the yo-yo by Aikhwee.. was breathtaking. He virtually stole all the thunder away from the main band.

Also also very heartening to see so many batchmates turn up as well.. About twenty plus? Haha. Hopefully we can still meet up soon for outings and the such, since majority of us are staying in SG to earn their degree.

Now for the photos.. (:


Saxas! Or rather those who happened to be there :D


With Zongxian.. (:


Batch photo with one crasher at the back. Lol. Tsk why someone never chase him away lol!

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Why do I have this feeling that there are some people in class who have started turning the tables on me aiming to cut me loose from the rest?

An old foe with new-found allies laughs tyrannically from within his stronghold.

And that is just one of the many things that are plaguing me. Uncomfortable, yes - but sadly I'm quite used to things like this already.

- Just that I can't comprehend the fact that I'm already being deleted from everyone's memories after just six months out of the public eye.

Maybe I should, then, accept that just.. perhaps some friends.. are just not worth chasing after even if it pains me to do so.. Leaving me with just reminiscences of the good old days. No point trying to build bridges when the other party's so eager to destroy them.

The die has been cast.
Choose where you stand guys.. For, ..or against me.

It pains typing this post as it is.. For I had thought we had cast down the common enemy amongst us after the A's last year..

Then again.. I may just be thinking too much. Hopefully all my worries will prove unfounded in the end. Wishful thinking? Prove me wrong.

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