everyday just gets worse. harder and harder. why cant i just see him. just for a second. just for a kiss. or a hug. or even just a slight touch of the hand. i miss him so much. everything about him. i miss the way he smells and his laugh. i miss laughing. i miss smiling. this week everyone has been asking me what is wrong. my answer is tired and sick, but lonely and sad are more of what i am feeling. cant i see you? *sigh*

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all night i have been trying to hold everything back. i wanted to cry. i still do. i miss dustin so much. my mom is going away this weekend and i could spend the day with him except it is finals and he has to study. i would call off work in a heartbeat, but i refuse to interfer. i just want to see him so badly. i want to kiss him. i hate feeling like this i hate being all melodramatic and depressed but i cant help it. i hurt all on the inside. i want to see my baby.

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ahhh so the end of my first day of my last year of high school. im so excited. i just want everything to start so it can all be over. i have been waiting for this for so long. especially for these last 9 months. my classes are all pretty good. visual basic there are only 2 girls in the class. . . me and my friend lauren. im happy becuase i get to sit next to my friend in that class so woot!. next caf. study hall! woot!. then AP calc. (already have homework shit damn fuck) 4 and 5 AP bio. its going to be a blast. (seriously). then lunch. yum! ap art. ap english. and art 3. im really excited for my art classes this year. i think i am going to like them. a lot.

work tonight was so busy. we were packed all night. i bused. made some monies, but it all went to fill up my gas tank. booo. that is the price i pay for working so far away. work again thursday, friday, saturday, and luckily i have off sunday and monday. i think i would die if i didnt.

so yeah. . that is my day. i had a good. ****** day. thank you raquel for being so supportive. i always stay on the right track when you are around. yay!

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First day of school tomarrow. senior year finally. im excited about that. i cant believe how fast the time has gone bye. im not going to sit her and *reminise on the old days* becuase i dont like to live in the past. i had some great times, with more to come. im looking forward to the day i graduate and i can start my life.

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*sigh* i had the most amazing weekend. THE most amazing weekend. i got to spend a lot of time with my love. <3 i missed him so much and it was so nice to kiss him and hold him. *sigh* We went to Virginia Beach this weekend. we actually only went to the beach one day and the other day we went to the water park, but i had a great time. getting to spend every minute of my day with the boy i love just made me feel so happy. today i had to say good-bye :( it makes me so sad. everytime he leaves i find myself crying. missing him, and just wishing i was able to climb on the train with him and just like happiliy ever after. *sigh* but i did get a kiss, followed by and i love you. so . . . i guess for now that will do until this time next year.

two more weeks until i get to see him. i wish i could just sleep the weeks away.

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