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I... (cont.) Friday. 1.16.04 12:00 pm This is just a continuation... I do not cope well under pressure. I get bored really easily. I am a bit neurotic. At 7:45 in the morning, I am ridiculously lazy. I am bad at anything impromptu. I have trouble making decisions. I can't stay with one decision for a long amount of time. I need to straighten out my priorities. I can't keep a top 10 list. I have a terrible memory. I chew on everything. So anyway. Today is done. Well, it was at 9:50, but I'm writing right now, so that's all that counts. But 7th was a waste of two hours this morning, all I did was sit there in Mr. Fletcher's room for 2 hours, talking to Heather and text-messaging Lydia and Austin. =/ On the brighter note, I am really looking forward to this FABULOUS 4 day weekend. I will see no people, have no responsibilities to fulfil, and no homework. I've been looking forward to this weekend since Winter Break ended. =) I am ecstatic! So Dave (the NuTang webmaster--or one of them) got up a new feature in comments stuff... So NOW non-members can comment. Don't worry, I already checked... I didn't lie. =) So my chatterbox over there (<<) is just for random jibber-jabber. Comment! (0) | Recommend! Thank you Spencer and Kira Thursday. 1.15.04 5:17 pm Thank you Spencer A. and Kira W.-- For your never-ending support, love and kindness. It has meant so much to me to know I have such great friends by my side to help me with everything going on these past couple of days. You are my saviors, Good Samaritans, guardian angels. Without the either of you here, I would be such a mess and total wreck, with my head filled with clutter and chaos, it's unimaginable. That is something I could, nor would like to picture right now. If I've ever made a promise before, this will have to be my upmost important ever; And that is to make everything up to you. I have no idea where I will start, or how I will begin to accomplish this intense performance; but I will follow through on it. Mark my words. Thank you so much. I love you both, you will always be in my heart forever. Comment! (0) | Recommend! What goes around, comes around. Thursday. 1.15.04 1:42 pm I won't even bother with censoring this time. There are too many people to confuse, and there's no privacy I feel I need to protect, for the people listed don't give a single shit about my feelings and me. First of all, I hate Lillian Ferral more than I have ever hated anybody ever before, more so than Mikala I believe. I have never met anyone more self-centered and insensitive as her. As Spencer exclaimed, all she cares about is Reed and parties, she's out to hurt other people. I have never agreed with anything more. Reed- I hope you get a brain and realize what kind of person she is. I thought we were supposed to be friends, why rat on me? fuckin cunt. So Zach Waxer was going to have this fucking huge ass party while his folks are away. His parents find out. I get blamed for ratting. Ok, so I guess I'm fairly easy to blame, knowing as much as I did, as much as I didn't and Zach and my history. So now, everyone's pissed off with me, Zach might have to live in Israel (Jacob didn't lie- and my life will be over as I know it), and I still, am the one being blamed. If I hadn't gone to Ian's house after school, things might've been better than they are right now. Well, just slightly, Zach thinks I ditched just to get away from him... and I could've stopped rumors before it got too out of hand. grrrr. But I guess that can't work, because I am the perfectly good party ruiner. Everything is just so fucked up right now. Hopefully Karma will take it's toll, and get back at whoever deserves it. Comment! (0) | Recommend! I... Wednesday. 1.14.04 2:59 pm So I am sitting here... trying to clean my desk... and find a NCBI booklet from the workshop Natalie, Spencer and I worked in... I open it up, look through it a little, and come to a section where you(the leader) are supposed to have each member in your group say anything about a certain aspect of themselves, like good and bad stereotypes and such.. ie- Asians: Lots of rice, type funny, good food, short, big familys... and on and on... So I have an idea. =) But this isn't just a certain aspect of myself, this will be myself on a whole...I kind of twisted the rules a little though. but oh well. I am a lover of writing, music and art. I hate math(of any kinds) with a deep passion. I like the idea of speaking in front of other people, but in reality it freaks me out crazy. I am a procrastinator. I am very forgetful. I can be very hard on myself. I forgive too easily. I am always cold. I trust too many people with my stuff too easily. I rarely believe other people. I question too much. I have a short attention span. I am way too paranoid. I am a very sensitive person, whether I show it on the outside or not is my ordeal. I love attention. I like the idea of authenticity, but tend to swing more towards conformity whether I like it or not. I am obsessive compulsive. I feel the need to help other people, but I hate it when people help me. I believe in karma, reincarnation and an afterlife. I fear spiders(mostly), snakes and rats. I hate the idea of being alone. I think the worst feeling in the world is rejection. I like being in control, I don't like be in control of. I hate losing friends. I am too clumsy for my own good. I am an easy target for ridicule. I am afraid of all kinds of pain. ie- physical and emotional I have trouble letting go. I don't watch TV. I am not too crazy about kids, but I'd like to have them to name them and see how they turn out. I have more friends who are guys than girls. I dislike snotty rich people. I envy no one. I will marry Johnny Depp. I have no self control. I give into pressure too easily. I am a bad driver. I daydream a lot. I can be really nosy. I am picky. I love star-gazing. I like being alone, but only for periods at a time. I like meeting new people. I get annoyed really easily. I swear too much. I love creative people. I tend to get people in trouble often...as well as myself. I can be anal-retentive towards small matters. I ran out..... Comment! (0) | Recommend! Surrender is the worst type of suicide. Wednesday. 1.14.04 1:16 pm Surrender is the worst type of suicide. I want that to be remembered. I'm not going to go into a whole long 5 paragraph post, because it's too long of a story to be 5 paragraphs first of all... and if I get too much into my brain, pretty soon, you the public, will be able to read my mind and know exactly what I'm going to say next. Which would be pretty fucked up. So remember this, and you'll be good. Surrender is the worst type of suicide. Comment! (0) | Recommend! Rarr. I give up. Monday. 1.12.04 8:19 pm No boyfriends for me for awhile now... I quit damnit. No matter how much ecstasy I seem to be floating in, the excruciating pain at the end just isn’t worth it all. When I suffer, I suffer big time, so much to a point you could peel the living skin off of me, and I couldn't tell the difference. Not literally, but you get the jist right? Quitting boys for awhile could get me out of a bad habit anyway... And this DOESN'T mean I'm going to go lesbo.... *ahem* COURTLAND! The last relationship I was in, I fucked it up big. I've only been in one *fling* before Zach. My previous was with me for all of the wrong reasons... So him being my first (anything) with him, his notions and motives in mind, the only speed I know in a relationship is fast. And, if I've got all of the facts together, that's what was wrong... I'm still kind of confused. Unfortunately, I lost a good boyfriend over this and a few other problems, and a great friend. Yes- we are still "friends", but let's let reality take it's toll now okay? I miss you Waxer... So before I do feel like dating again, I want to make sure I have more self control then I do right now. So onto my next subject...I'm grounded again! Until the end of 3rd Quarter... guess why... I was talking on the internet on a school night. Oh hit me with a stick! ARGHHHHH. So that means no phone, AIM(unless my mom's not home heh heh), inviting people over, going over to other people's houses, and other fun get togethers and whatnot. I hate this. rarrrrr Comment! (0) | Recommend! Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25