so, i am bored out of my mind right now. i hate packing! i have done it a million times before and every time it sucks more. putting my life in a bunch of boxes and trash bags is traumatizing. but i am almost done. the rest of my clothes, some random crap and all my girly smell good stuff. then i should be about finished. i am actually leaving in sunday morning now. it'll make life easier on everyone in my fam and that'll give me a little more time to learn to drive my car. and an extra night to play with friends. so all is good. i have to go and finish registering my car in the morning and then i 'll so all my thank-yous for graduation people. then i think i might take a nap. it'll be a very productive day. i also should find some time to hang out with ashley m and tiffany before i go. ohh, so much to do and so little time.

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well, yesterday i went and bought some generally nice looking clothes for work. and today i am going to pack up a ton of crap and register my car. even though we were supposed to do that like two weeks ago. oh well. so i think i am actually getting excited about going. i mean there are only a handful of people that i am actually really going to miss. and a few of those people are my fam. not that i won't miss everyone else. i just usually don't hang out with those people so i stay online and chat with them. that isn't gonna change. i dunno, just little things have happened over the past few days that have made me more and more happy that i didn't change my mind about going like i almost did. yeah, believe it or not, around the last week of school i was seriously contemplating just staying here and getting a job and mooching off my fam just a little bit longer. but like i said, stuff happened and that is no more.
so, new subject. last night ash, pete and i went to see troy with jimmy, marc, kady and some other person i don't know. or at least i think there was another person at the end of the row. it was great. i got to see brad pitt's ass three times and stare at the lovely eric bana. yay! and enjoy jimmy's amusing commentary throughout the movie. which wasn't bad cause i have already seen it. the i went with pete and ash to exxon to visit poor david. yeah, he was working til five in the morning. but at least we could amuse him for a little while in all that. so, last night was pretty eventful. i got home a two-ish, which is, oddly enough, a little early for me. but it was ok cause i got a decent amount of sleep. so, that's all for now, i have to get ready to go take care of my car. ciao.

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so, i am feeling much better this morning. or at least, less pissy and tired. and a little more forgiving. or pretending to be more forgiving. thank god for the good friends. the friends who love you even when you feel fat and pissy. i have a million things to do today, and i feel motivated to do only one. eat lunch in about an hour. yup, that's it. all the rest will either not get done or i will force myself to do it. instead i would rather waste my time watching sappy movies and disney movies. those are two things that will make me a very happy jessica. and a wendy's frosty or some peanut butter cup ice cream would help too. unfortunately i will be having neither of those today. *tear* so movies it is. and maybe another pepperoni pizza. the lack of food in my house kills me. it's like my mom shops assuming that she will go back and get more in about a week, but in all actuality she only goes shopping about one every two weeks. so we have a small amount of food that has to be rationed for a week and then the second week we have no food. i think she is secretly trying to starve us all. and my dad almost always refuses to go the grocery because all that is figured into her side of the budget, not his. so in conclusion, that is all quite gay, and i am hungry with no food to be found. yet, when i am really hungry i will go down and scrounge up some random something and attempt to call it lunch.on another note. what am i going to do without my faithful sega genesis? i know, i know what you all are thinking. what the hell? that old p.o.s. she needs a ps2 or an xbox. yeah, i know. but you know what. i love my sega. it has served me faithfully for many years now. i have six very well working controllers and numerous games. i love that little guy. he is the only thing in the world that can keep me completely occupied for three days straight. the plan of action - to whisk it away into a box when no one is paying attention. i mean, i can jsut leave the poor guy here all by himself to never be played again. jenni doesn't ever play video games and john is quite stuck on his ps2, and when he gets bored, he rips out the n64. so the genesis, saturn and original nintendo have no love. but the saturn sucks and we only have like 5 games for it, and my dad would never let me take the nintendo. i mean it was his first. all for him. we couldn't even touch it. so, i will secretly sneek away the genesis.

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sometimes i can't stand my friends. i don't know why, no wait, actually i do. the majority of my friends are selfish. and i'm talking really selfish. they won't do anything that doesn't make them happy. they stand their friends up. they always wait for the best offer. it pisses me off. the majority of my friends are a bunch of assholes. and they don't really care. all i want to do is hang out with them a little bit this week before i am gone for three weeks, and they are all too busy to do anything. what the fuck?!? but hey, at least i know where i stand. although i hate being at the point where i don't even want to try any more. and that is where i am at with several people right now. but if you don't care that i am leaving and don't care to spend time with me, fine, i'll make it my every effort to feel the same about you.

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and thank god for that! i am finally home from the new york new york. yay! now don't get me wrong. i absolutely loved new york! it was beautiful and fun and busy and loud and smelled of a million good things. but i am gald to be home and sleep in my own freaking bed. my dad asked me if i wanted to live there now. he knows i always have, but i think he really thought i wouldn't want to after i visited. well, he was wrong. i now want to go to colombia or nyu for med school. i mean, it's only about four years. i wouldn't ever want to raise kids there. but i would love to live there for a little while. i even have a general idea of where i would live. lindsey was prolly the best person to take me there too. she made it so much fun and she loves doing all the touristy crap that i like. we just had a really good time.

unfortunately, now i have to pack in record time. gotta be ready by saturday, sunday at the absolute latest. it makes me want to cry every time i think about it. actually, sometimes i do, but shhh, don't tell. i also need to do some serious shopping this week. i need clothes for work. the boss says i can wear my daily stuff, but somehow, jeans and tank tops seem a little too casual. meh, we'll see.

man, summer is gonna end up sucking. i am going to be gone from all my friends. i won't know hardly anyone. i'll just end up trying to come back down here as much as possible to keep myself sane. tis sad. i'm not ready to move out. i'm not ready to leave. i'm too freaking young to begin my own life.

ok, i'm going to bed. talk to you kids laters!

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