I hate that I don't know how I feel about Lance. He was here tonight and I wanted him to be here. I didn't want him to leave. I want him to come back. He had to leave though cuz he's got to get up early for a class. He's got a couple tests tomorrow and I wouldn't want him to fail. He said he'd probably come by tomorrow after I get off work. I don't have to work on Saturday nor does he have class so hopefully he'll be able to stay later.

I sort of know why I wanted him tonight, but I'm not gonna get into that. I just ... ugh! I started thinking about my whole I don't like the fact that he's younger than me thing, and that it might not be so bad. I thought about my aunt and uncle and how he's ten years younger than her. I mean they're at the age now where it doesn't really matter either way {he's in his 50s and she's in her 60s}, and I'm still at the age where it actually does matter. To me at least. Grrr!!! I hate this! I hate not knowing for sure.

Grrr. I'm gonna sleep on it tonight and if he comes over tomorrow I'll figure out what I'm gonna do.

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I thought these two things were pretty funny. Just watch them and laugh.

http://www.joecartoon.com/pages/joemomma_anim

http://www.joecartoon.com/pages/tenpump_full_anim

I hope you enjoy them!

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Have you ever wanted so badly to be alone, but at the same time you wanted someone there with you just so that you know that there actually is someone there for you? You didn't want them there to talk to you or to say anything to you. You just wanted them to be there to hold you. Or just to have their presence.

I want that. I got the alone part, but I want someone to be here with me. I kind of feel like crying. But I can't, I don't want to. Maybe I will later. Who knows.

I hate not knowing why I feel this way. I hate when it happens. It doesn't happen as much anymore, unlike a few years ago when it would happen all the time. I think I might know what it is, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I want to know either. I wish it would go away. But I don't think it can.

Whatever. I'm watching TV right now so I guess I'll be on later. If not then just whenever.

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So I decided that since I don't have to work tomorrow and I also have a headache, I'd stay up and watch Dave Attell's Insomniac Tour: starring Sean Rouse, Greg Giraldo and Dane Cook. Here's a couple clips from the show, if you've been unfortunate enough to have never seen it:

Dane Cook:


Greg Giraldo:

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I thought this was cute:

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I've been really tired lately. Like the last few days, I've been more tired than usual. I'm not really doing anything different. I've actually been going to bed sort of early the last few nights because I'm just so tired. And it doesn't seem to be helping.

Maybe its cuz I'm not staying asleep through the whole night? I dunno. Its sort of rare for me to say asleep for the whole night. I usually wake up at least once, even if its only for a few minutes. Oh well.

I've also been getting headaches more often. Right now my headaches are worse due to the drama going on up at work. Even though it doesn't involve me directly, I'm still affected by it. Whatever. Hopefully it'll soon pass and my headaches will go back to being just dull.

I have to work tomorrow and then I'm off on Thursday. I'll sleep in and maybe I'll just take the day to rest. To sleep whenever. Maybe by Friday I'll have caught up on my sleep enough to have energy for the normal Friday rush.

Alright I'm probably gonna be going to lay down soon. I'm out of things to say for now anyway.

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