maybe i shldnt perform anymore... cos i sucked at it and make everyone look bad.

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Finally, it's over. sad to say i m veri disappointed in myself. made mistakes in j's item for the first performance. then tonite made mistakes for n's item. like WTF right~!? guess through evo, i learnt tt i m nt cut out for dancing n performing cos i always get single out by choreographers and keep making mistakes.

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i cried today. i cried b'cos of evocation. suddenly, i m so sick and tired of everyting. i finally understand how my fren D felt. dance is the source of all my pain, misery and stress. y cant i just stop crying?

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i just got home from N's rehearsal but now it shld be called Z's rehearsal instead. cos N broke his leg n Z has to take over his item. while under N's management, everyting is like relax and fun. but now under Z's management, it is damn stressful. damn depressing... get pointed by Z and YL so many times from 7pm till the end of rehearsal. it was so damn stressful to the extent tt the thought of dropping out from the item crossed my mind several times.

i m the kind of person who doesnt perform well under stress n i m a farking SLOW learner. its nt tt i dun noe my steps but after getting scolded by Z i will just BLACK OUT! FUCK! i hate myself for being such a slow learner!

wats worse, this item might need us to do it in heels. can someone just KILL ME NOW n end all my misery!!!

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damn it! i just broke someting while clearing the mess under my bed... just hope i can find the replacement real easy tis coming thurs. *PRAY HARD!*

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Happy 21st Birthday to Hellsing! May all your wishes come true :)

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