Kelly promised me he'd go to church. It was a pinky promise. Can't get more legiittt than that.

Earlier yesterday (this is epic news), IVY DROVE US TO THE PARK! It was super awesome.
She kinda swerved into the wrong lane and was like "Whoopsie", it was so cute. Ivy is a very adorable creature. She dresses so Ivyish and stylishly and her pinkies make me squeal.
She tried to make a joke about peter pan to this chick at school but it came out wrong and Ivy ended up saying she was going to go to the girl's house and molest her.
Everyone was like :0.

We chilled at the park and then eventually went to the chorus thingy. Thankfully, Athena bought my ticket. I've been lacking in the funds sections quite a bit.

Athena is so good at singing! She was the best!
This chick from Bible Club sang this nifty Jesus song, and Nick sang this really depressing song about suicide. Everyone did really good though. I even wore my glasses so I could stare at the singing people. I never wear my glasses!

There was a dead cat in our drive way this morning. It was really sad. I know this is going to sound horrible but I took a picture. :l I'm not going to post it, but yeahh, I think it would be good for a video one day. I know that doesn't make it sound any better... I'm not some animal hater though, I love animals!!!

Meaghan and I are probably going to chill down town today and maybe see a movie if I can gather enough money. Brianna might go and bring a friend, I don't know though.
I hope Ivy can go, because I hecka love that Ivy with a passion! :)

We came up with this idea of eating dog food for Kelly, like just make a video of all these crazy stupid things to show him how serious we are and what we are willing to do. Sounds like a plan.



I'm out like a deaf kid playing musical chairs. <3

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I think Kelly might be starting to get the big picture, maybe just an intsy bitsy teensy weensy bit, but it's there.

You know when you fall asleep after you've been crying and your eyelids get really puffed up? When I woke up this morning my eyes felt funny, so I looked in the mirror and they were the puffiest eye lids I'd ever seen. I felt like crap anyways and was going to not go to school but I figured I would anyways due to Kelly circumstances. Eyeliner reduced the puffy eye look so it was okay. I wish I could have taken a picture because the massiveness of the eyelids was disgusting, haha.

I didn't take my caffeine today because I was so tired I forgot to, so I was pretty sure I was going to fail the mile at pe, but instead I cut my usual time by 30 seconds instead of adding a minute. I was like :0.
It was because this chick told me to give up on Kelly because nothing I say will get through his thick skull, that he'll never listen or go to church with me, and I screamed in her face. It was a meaningless scream with no words, but one of furious rage. I don't think she realized why I was screaming. Haha. I was laughing in my head though. Because I know she's wrong.
So I got all worked up about it but didn't chew her out about it. Instead I whispered Worth Dying For lyrics while punching the air and running. It was kinda cool.
I'm surprised people haven't questioned me about it. I suppose that's a good thing though.

It's so sad when people are that blunt. It just makes you want to scream "epic fail!" over and over again.


I am going to a school choir concert with Meaghan so we can see Athena's solo. I wrote Athena a note today about how much I love her because I feel like I haven't been a good friend lately so we shall patch things up with glue made of golden brilliance. :)

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For now, I guess, I can go on another night.

It's going to keep counting up. If I can last through a school day and church, then I can go another day, and another day, until next church day.

PJ shaved his head. Long story short, there was a girl he was talking to and he told her he would shave his head if she would give up drugs forever, and she made a promise and gave her life to God. If PJ can give up something like that, even if it's not forever, so can I.


I begged Kelly to go to church today, really begged, not the usual begging. I was pleading, because I knew this was the night he would be changed forever, if only he would go. If only he would spend 30 minutes of his time listening to God speak through Pastor J, he would begin to see how much he's worth. I called his cell phone and it was out of service, and I called his home phone and it was also out of service. I would have marched to his house but then we'd both miss the sermon.

But instead he went to a concert that would give him no sense of satisfaction. Who knows, maybe he went and beat up people, got wasted, had sex, and is stumbling home now just so he can return to the same thing. The same thing every day. Maybe it feels different when you have all of these distractions, but unless you do something, your life will still be everything you hate.

It's another night he will go to sleep, empty, empty, empty. An emptiness only the holy spirit could fill.

I sobbed all night through the sermon, because only Meaghan and I truly believe he will be saved. We can't wait any longer. There isn't always a later. We can't just write him Jesus notes and give him pep talks, we have to give it 110%, even if it means being yelled at by campus supervisors. WE CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER. They tell us to quit on him, they break us down, rip us to pieces.

They can do it as much as they like.

We're fighting for this, they can't shut down our shout, not now.

Who else will do it? Everyone else is too busy screaming about all the bad decisions Kelly has made in his past. They won't see how valuable he is until he sees it for himself. He is a son of God, worth dying for, greater than John the Baptist, a warrior in this army. But he will never know who he is until he knows whom he is placed in.

We have to take this a step at a time, but it will be done.

No matter what it takes.

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One of the worst feelings in the world has got to be when you feel like you're losing all of your friends...

I'm running out of friends to lose.

I don't know why they all turn away and leave.

Is it something about me that makes me unlikable?

Is it something I did?

What's worse is most of the friends that have begun to show their true colors now, they're some of my best friends.



They say they love you and then they crush your heart.

/ end angst.

:(

Sorry, I had to get that out.

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