Pheenin' For : no one . im better off that way

hehe ... its funny how s0metimes i feel like everything is getting better . and when i finally get my hopes up . i just end up getting hurt a lil more ....... [ but hey, shit happens and i just gotta fuckin deal with it . im use to pain anyways ]

Trust no onE . iF i dont gain anything .... i won't lose anything right? [ It seems as though, everything and everyone i get close to . gets taken away from me .......]

I'm just .... fuckin .... t i r e d
[ my heart and em0tions are OFFICIALLY CLOSED ]

madd questi0ns running thru my minD .. that i know will never be answered . n0 more trying . i give up ...
daammn . dont fuck ar0und with KARMA . that shit c0mes back at chu madd haaaaaaaaaaaard

y0 . shut thE fuck up . this shits ovEr and donE with . n0 more getting attatched . n0 more feelings . n0 more getting close to . n0 more trying ...... no more hurt and pain

[ FUCK IT! ] . i got all i nEed and im doing just finE . all i nEed and havE is my moms and im go0d ...

// One thing, I don’t know why // It doesn’t even matter how hard you try // Keep that in mind // I designed this rhyme when I was obsessed with time // All I know, time was just slipping away // And I watched it count down to the end of the day // Watched it watch me and the words that I say // The echo of the clock rhythm in my veins // I know that I didn’t look out below // And I watched the time go right out the window // Tried to grab hold // Tried not to watch // I wasted it all on the hands of the clock // But in the end, no matter what I pretend // The journey is more important than the end or the start // And what it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time // when I tried so hard ...
// I tried so hard // And i got so far // But in the end // it doesn't even matter // had to fall // lose it all // in the end // it doesn't even matter//

[ D u E c E ] - g0ne -

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mY fault, i miSsed a coupLe days ... b o o o ... s0 lets brinG it back a biT ...

Pheenin For : ... ummm i cant rEally remember anym0re haha ...

iight iight shUt thE fuck up PERIOD . i have to trY to remember thE shit i diD frOm the past fEw days . YAY! i g0t to sEe my RODEL!!!!!!!! [ wo0 ho0 ] hE came ar0und 9:30 with s0me other h0mies and thEy played ball and atE El Pollo Loco [ can you fuckin believe Frisco doesnt have El Pollo Loco?!?!?! ] like i said bef0re . Frisc0 suckS ass!! . iight ANYWAYS . lol rodel is such a pretty b0y . when it comes to his clothes . he got a TINY ASS stain on his white shirt anD he started trippin cuz i was wearing hiS 0ther shirt s0 he made mE take it off and he put it 0n . thEn while hE was eating hE spilled somE guacamole sauce aaaaaaaaaaaaall ovEr his gEAr hahahha . love you r0del ;D . s0rry that was madd funny . ANYWAYS after that wE left to go to annahiem and we got lost ... a lot ... whEn we finally g0t there my 0ther cuzins from Frisco came arounD 4 in thE morning anD we talked thEn knOcked out . we went to DisneyLand yesterday . chilled and shit . thEn they dr0pped mE off at h0me and rodel pickEd mE up and br0ught me to my cuzins house ;D rodel is the best .. s0metimes . when hes nice . and when he DOESNT wear his sh0es in my house lol . thEn i slept ovEr at my beautiful cuzins house Oliver . Thats ... it ... GONE

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Pheenin' For : (JonTa)•(AteRox)•(KuyaPaolo)•(Jenna)

eY shut thE fuck up dawg and rEad beforE i fall aslEep . i w0ke up at 8:30 cuz my cousinz talk to0 damn loud . lol but its all go0d . wE all got rEady and shit and wE had to shake at around 11:30 or 12 to g0 eat at D.J. Bibinkahan . grUb was go0d . then we went t0 Goldilocks . b0ught fo0d [ pandisal and shit ] . thEn we dropped my m0ms off at h0me and mE . my cousinz and my niece went to my appt. [ heeeeeey jon . thanks for thE directions sweety! your a lifE sav0r . i owE you!! ;D ] ANYWAYS . we stopped by Tapioca Express and g0t some BOBA [ the valley is better than FRISCO!!!! haaaaaaaa! ] we wEnt homE and we decided to g0 to Santa Monica Beach . wE wanted to rest a lil before we left so we just kicked it at mY house and watchEd movies . i called Tan up to sEe what he was doing anD he was down to g0 to the beach . i told him to call ria but ria was to0 busy ... its okae i still lovE her most - er - est! . David was suppose to g0 . but he madd laaaaaaaaagged . Lon was suppose to g0 . ionno what the fuck happened with that fo0 lol . so0o it was just mE . Tan . Jenna [ my niece ] . ate rox . and kuya paolo . Tan was our navigator . GOOD JOB! . hE got us thEre and back safely! . ANYWAYS . wE stayed at thE beach for about 2 hourS and we watched a vide0 being maDe on the beach, by smashmouth? . i0nno what band that was . thEn wE b0unced and atE at McDonalds . On our way h0mE my niece was madD singing . and humming cuz shE didnt know all the w0rds . but shE got skills //pr0pz// shEs maaaaaaadd cute . s0rry fella's shEs only FIVE . you g0tta wait a couple years . haaaaaaaa! . thEn Tan just stayed at my houSE and wE played ball for a while [ Tan met my momS ;D ] thEn we called david R. and hE came ovEr and playEd ball for a lil while m0re . that fo0 is fuckin laaaaaaaazy ;] . hes pretty funny . hE just got hiS tongue pierced s0 he was all talking funny and shit lol . ANYWAYS . wE played cards cuz we got to0 lazy to do anything else . Tan spilled beer in my garage .. THANKS! .. lol .. ANYWAYS . wE played ball again for like 5 minutes lol . thEn we sat d0wn . and talked . thEn they decided to leavE around 1:20 . DaviD R. hElp clean .. how nicE ;D . and Thats .. it .. Im fuckin madd tirEd , i gotta wakE up early t0m0rrow .. GONE

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Pheenin For : (Jon Ta)•(Ate Tricia)•(Oliver)•(Annaline)•(CJ)•

y0 y0 y0 . SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PAY ATTENTION!. FuUuuck what a buzzkill . i almOst finished writing thiS shit and i fuckEd up and deleted evErything . thats mE . iight lEts start thE fuck ovEr again ... regardless . mY m0ms woke mE up around 9 cuz i had to start cleaning and shit cuz we were having guEsts and it was my aunts biRthday [HOLLA] . s0 my aunt and my cuzin came over to help clean and co0k . mE and my cuzin ran errands the whOle fuckin day and we were maaaaaaaaadd hungry . fUuck i accidentally cussed in frOnt of a nun . daaaamn .. im goin to hell lol . // kn0ck on wood // i b0ught so0 much junk fo0d and atE randOm shit . fUuck man i can feel thE pimples comin and shit haaaaa!! // knOck on wOod // ANYWAYS . thEn our guests camE over around 5 . wE prayEd and grUbbed . thEn we headed to my cuzins house and i madE Oliver come with mE to annalines graduation party || congratz || . wE headed there arounD 9 and CJ . TAN . and MJ met me half way on the bridgE . Tan's cLown ass didnt even recognizE me . well .. i dont blame him cuz i never really showed him my face hahah . theRe wasnt much hEads at the party . but i saW a gang of thE old homiEs . thE first person i was was ERRINE ;] . wOo hOo . i saw sammy . Tan . MJ . CJ . LIONEL . i was like daaaaaaamn i didnt even knOw that fOo was still around ;] . and PAUL DIAZ . that bitch didnt even recognizE me . punk aSs . sall gOod though cuz i havEnt seen him in a long ass timE . ANYWAYS . i was quiet m0st of the timE cuz i didnt seE to0 many people i knew . thEn i sat with errine . and i gotta mEet s0me new people . anyways Sammy, Lionel and Justin? only stayed for a lil while and paul left madd early to0 . so i just kicked it then errine and david left . and s0 did andi . s0 i just kicked it . they're maaaaaaaadd funny . and TAN has sOo much fuckin energy . he dancEd the whole fuckin night away . i evEn got a lap dancE by 2 guys // tOo exclusive to namE though ;x // . thEn they just drank a lil and chilled . we played in the bOuncing thing but it was fuckin wack cuz the other half of thE damn thing stOpped workin . but whaaaaaatever . thEn i had to shakE at 12 . so i said mY gOodbyes and all in all it was a pretty g0od day and imma End it talkin to my sWeety jOn ta [ fuckin pUnk aSs ] (: Thats ... it ... GONE

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Pheenin' For : (Jubert)•(ANDREW!)•(Jon Ta)•(Hien)•(Thao)•(Ate Joy)•(My Cousins)

y0 . iiGht shUt thE fUCk up and Pay attention... regardless . i gooootta givE madd love to my jU jU bEe ;] . thanks for always bEing my wake up call and shit . you thE best twin ... guaranteed ;D . Yehhh . hE woke me up at 9 and i got mY ass up and woke up My Knight In Shining Armor Andrew (: So we started getting ready or whatever . Then Jon Ta called me and said to go to his house // continued to get ready // then all of a sudden i hEar some LOUD ASS revving in frOnt of my house, cuz he got a GAY ASS sounding HORn haaaaaaaa! . it was my prince andrew ;] . so we left the house around 10:40 am . pretty decent ... we went to Jon's house [ hahah everyone walks around half naked in his house . lol . hEey andrew ta ;D . sall gOod they havE the bOdies to sp0rt that ;x ] and we waited for his aSs to get ready and we told Hien that we're gonna go to his house . again ;] . HIEN IS THE BEST!!!!!!!! ... GUARANTEED . thanks for thE hospitality! . hes sOOOoO nice!! . he's really neat and clean . he's like my mom . he takes care of us ;] . and his hair smells MAAAAAAAADD gOod ;D . makes me jeleous . lol . I swear that boy is fuuuuunny as FUCK! he didnt knOw what a brush was . he called it the thing with the spiky ends . I fuckin swear, I could just watch Andrew and Hien all day, they're NEVER boring . hahahha . OH! and CLOWN ASS ANDREW hit me in the eye with the nerd's rOpe candy shit . lol . its okae . i still love him ... regardless . ANYWAYS .we just kicked it there, ate, watched TV, me and andrew BONDED . as usual . nothing new . i love that guy ;] . Then i had to bounce around 3:30 cuz i had to go to a graduation dinner . so wonderful andrew and sweety piE j0n brought me home . and as soon as we left . THAO CAME! . punk ass laggers! . it was good to sEe that clown again though ;] . MISS YOU THAO! . ANYWAYS . we just said our helloS and gOodbyEs and i got thE fuck out of thE mutha . then andrEw and Jon came to my house and i gave them Rice Krispies Treats since andrew seems to like them SO much . we went outside and shit and they were playing a lil ball and ANDREW WAS WEARING MY SLIPPERS . haaaaaaa! . he lOoked pretty Real ;D // adrienne and andrew put their hands togethEr to form the R.O.C sign! HOOOOLLA! // then my kuya's girlfriend comes outside and she asks me to go run errands with hEr . so i was like iight . and i haD to rush Jon and andrew out of my house . sOrry you guys . and i kinda shut thE garage dOor on Jon . haaaaaa!! . sorry about that tOo lol . thEy left and i went to run errands and i got a tExt from mY second family // sigh // they're still in Frisco . but they said they missed me and they're coming back sOon! so i aint trippen. I still havent seen RODEL . but he calls ;] . s0 its okae . ANYWAYS . and as so0n as i got homE me and my mom left to go to the graduation dunner at 6 . we were fuckin STARVING . i was eating thE appatizErs and i made a maaaaaadd mesS . i got clownEd on by all my cuzins . haaaaa! . its all go0d im use to it . i got to sEe my cuzins frOm new york cuz they came dOwn . wE maaaaaadd grubbEd as sOon as the food came . and we bOnded and talked . thEn my mOm wantEd to shakE so we left madd early cuz she has work tOmorrow . and here i am . just waiting fOr RODEL and MARK to get back at mE . Thats ... it ... GONE

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Pheenin' For: (Jon Ta)•(Mark Sam).. damn not that manY 2day

y0 . gimmiE a few minutes of your timE and pay sOme respectS . //bow you head d0wn// ... 5 m0nths ...

It's true ... you will never truly realize what you have ... untill it's gone ... seriously ... cherish what you have now and have no regrets
[[. Only in knowing our weaknesses can we be strong, only in undergoing sadness can we find real happiness, and only in passing through trials and distress can we find peace, encouragement and spiritual joy .]]

iight timE for you gUys to shut thE fuck up . lets dO the damn thang already ...
Daaaaaamn my ass actually got a decent amount of sleep! [wOo hOo] 6 hours . haaaaaaa! sEe what happens when your second family leaves for Frisco // tears // . nO decent wake up calls . im not gonna See them for 4 days! y u u u ck . And i havent seen RODEL LUMANOG for over a week! . he always says hes gonna come see me or visit . what a buzzkill . its okaE i still love him! haaaaaaa! lol fuuuuuuck mehhh . i missed my appt. for the second time . daaamn lol . i got s0me wonderful wake up calls from my moms and my aunt . but it was all gOod cuz a lil bit aftEr Jonathan Ta called me ;] . it made everything aaaaaaall gOod . ANYWAYS . i talked to him for most of the day then he left to kick it with hiS homies // tears // everyone is leaving me . lol . yeah so after that i didnt really do shit . just kicked it and shit . then around 7 mark sam came over and he stayed outside and talked to my moms for a lil while then we played ball for about an hour and a half to 2 hours . daaaaaaaaaamn that clown is aggressive . hahah . hes no FUN cuz i lost! lol . and he critisizes EVERYTHING i do and HAVE! lol . punk aSs . next timE imma gO all out and bReak some ankles ;x . haaaaaa! . nah on the realz . he got skills . i gotta give him his pr0pz //propz // We had madd exclusive beats bumpin' and he kept dancing so RANDOMLY haha . i swear i will never get bOred around him . theeeeen he had to g0 home cuz he had to go watch a moviE with his br0ther . it was kew kickin' it with him cuz i havent chilled with him for a while . s0o today was pretty laid back . n0thing new . i'm just gonna chill and wait for Jon to get back at mE . That's ... it ... GONE

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