so u and he had sex. so u guys did it the day after. so upstairs just now. omg. my friends have more sex than me. they will never say our lives are boring. u have 2 say goodbye. ur both in love with the same guy. i love u both.understanding isnt nessesary. i like him cuz hes there. i want him to call. her boyfriend/fiancee is schizofrinick(sp). i am afraid of HER. i pray we wont be forced from each other. dont write things down. u better not be there. i cant wait for PROM.

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ok ihave three problems. 1. i work all the time and no matter what cant do well in school. 2. i need a boyfriend or sex friend or someone romaticlly invoving to keep my spirits up. 3. i cant seem to find my place in this world anymore and have lost my own identity to self doubt

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as if everything might come to a close everthing has moved to this point. i've lost my resilance(sp). the flight here has lost its power for her she might soon fall. as the messiah of my year fades away from me and her we become weaved into further webs.im always busy

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So once again another of those closeted social failures has come out and seems to like me. Ahh well this one however i could see myself with excluding his freckles, annoying attitude, his glasses, his backpack, and the fact hes not really cute. so geez i dunno what to do i guess i obseve his good and if i can see something worth while in him i move to whatever the next step would be. hes certainly no Paul or Brian but he may be the best the world has to offer me

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could it be so wrong to manipulate those who u find to be lacking important things in their lives. if u manipulate them into finding what they need to be better people. could they realize how dangerous their path now is. i failed to see it clearly before but it is evident now. would they accept my help. i see the need in my life to return to them but i dont see the need to get into what they are. its way too dangerous. my life is in a fragile state. any mistake could take all that i have strived for away. so im not risking any subtlties. i must go for a direst approach to helping them. i suppose it may be my way of depriving them of the fun they deprive me of. if i can get enough of their friends involved we could help them see where they are headed. i dont know if im doing this to revive the friends they once were or to punish them. they however are very important to me. i dont know where everything will end up.

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Its my first entry and i already regret my name. Ah well.i'm the Queer one and i would like to say i am happy to make this my main weblog.YEAH!!! So anyways i am sorta at odds with ma friends and i dont know if, how, why, or should i make up with them. They will never regain what they lost in my heart much like i'll never regain in their heart what i lost of them. Jay introduced me here at nuTang and even made my 1st entry however stupid it was. she designed it but im going to change it. well i think me and NuTang will get along splendidly

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