so my party was fun. a hella load of people showed up and i got pretty wasted. i kissed will which was weird, because we are like brother & sister. oh well shit happens. my mom was cool about the fact that there was pot & booze. and im glad the fellas smoked it outside instead of in the house. amy and joe hooked up.im not sure what to feel about this, even though i know i shouldnt feel anything.but i have to get to bed because i have class tomorrow.

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so tonight is my party. the whole school is coming.im going to be kicking mad amounts of people out

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my mind and heart seem to be miles away. my mind says move on.just be friends.you two could never be any more than friends. my heart tells me there is nothing that is impossible. and then today my heart seemed to take over and i kissed him. and it made me weak.i couldnt even begin to imagine that this would ever happen. And that's why I'm weak and I want you to try. it was perfect.we were hugging and i went to pull away but then i kissed him.and he smiled and i turned and walked away.hes not home from work yet.and i dont want to call his cell.he gets home in an hour and a half. im drunk.eleven beers on an empty stomach does that to a person. hangover tomorrow. more later-

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i watched ghost world today.it was pretty good.
i took a bunch of pictures yesterday.

alexisonfire is tonight.with bane and bear vs. shark.

i wanna go so if anybody lives in the buffalo area and has ten bucks and a ride to sparem,comment.

tim called me after amanda left.
he basically told me how much he wanted to be with me but didnt want to be tied down.
and i reminded him how i said i wasnt always going to be there as backup.

this entry was as pointless as the last, so im just going to end it now.

♥♥ stephanie

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watching: back to the future listening to: nothing mood: confused well amandas here. were watching back to the future. and im talking to tim. i guess hes changed his mind about some shit. but oh well. he had his chance. hes like oh can we hook up sometime then. ha hells no funny shit. im meeting joe next saturday at seven.that is until he sees me at school and runs from my ugly face.ha im so down on myself.

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hey im new here. im 15. i love music. smashing pumpkins are my all time favorite. but the spice girls will always have my heart. i needed a place to vent.hopefully this will be updated daily.

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