Friday, March 19, 2004 ok this is the last and i do mean the last im truly deeply sorry to the people i offended by being unlike my usual nice self my personality seems not to fit anywhere.... well i have to say that alot of things ive written lately have been taken out of context so it would be wrong for me to keep going and hope somebody understand that i wasnt in the best place i feel really bad for upseting people that i didnt even know would care what i do in any aspect of life ........ and especially to britt and alecia im really sorry ........ i still wanna be a pornstar dammit laron Private - 11:17 AM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it Thursday, March 18, 2004 i cant stand it fuck all of you except for kuss jen and christin and erin all of you people have made my day hell today what the fuck is up well heres a run down.... i got suspended yes i did but i did it for a good cause and it wasnt to be smoking in the bathroom im way bigger than that and if you wnt the damn story then ask or keep my goddamn name out of your mouth.... i get back to skoll and that bitch is the first person to speak of my suspension and then chelsea and chris whiched pissed me off and made me fell really bad....... on top of that people dont even know the truth and its fucked up that you people who could give a shit less about me ran your fuckin mouths like i did something wrong yes i got caught with it but if somebody was on probation thens its dragged out to a new level and one of the truest frined i have at this hillbilly skool shouldnt have to be put awy for something that small when i only get in minor trouble and they stay out of it..... allll of and i do mean allll of you people can go strate to hell i know what i know and thats that none of you arent worth the time of day especially the extra phony ones like the ones in my acting class and i am sorry to my directors and other actor you didnt deserve me messin up things and im soooo sorry and it makes me feel even more bad....... none of you can possibly understand im so scared and i do mean scared i could be sent back to dayton on a permanent basis ill lose everything important to me and more than likely gail will be glad to give me the boot im terrified but everyone else understands well the ones that i talked too but i hope she does...... this creates more drama and im not the one to just be in it ima woop some of yalls asses b4 i leave cause i do have people that really do care about me since no one in the td does it makes me sick not the fact that people are so fake but the fact that they can live with themselves..... and britt dont take anything i said that day serious at all please dont my mind wasnt in a good place i know and understand about the family situation and im sorry i didnt come to you when i was no where near being at skool and that i completely forgot about it anyway that how of little importance it matters to me i was being jealous and loserly i hope you can understand and that this is a little little journal and seeing as i dont really have any friends whos gonna read it....... later god bless laron Private - 7:09 PM - 10 eprops - 5 comments - edit it - email it Wednesday, March 17, 2004 well im still here not completely sain if i do say so myself but better i guess this or that however you see it has been well a rocky start to hell but better i promise i cant wiat for skool tommorrow really i dont want to be with out skool until i graduate this household is too much for me to handle.......... see you lovely people tomorrow god bless laron Private - 8:59 PM - 6 eprops - 3 comments - edit it - email it Saturday, March 13, 2004 like well all is good and i do mean all is good theres not much to say but yesterday wasnt the greatest either but for those that know like erin and alecia dont say anything until you know when that day comes cause i cant risk anything happening omg cuase im like super scared ........ well my moms not mad neither is my uncle so im cool im glad i didnt try to stall and i get to get my eyebrow ring but i dont wanna cause brittany doesnt want to go with me she pisses me off when she wants me to go somewhere for her i break my neck to go but if i ask especially when i have a vehicle she always has some excuse not to give me an hour of her time which i could have used ........ dont think about me doing shit else for you it makes me sick to my stomach...... i cant wait to ove away from here and if somethings happens with wat happend to me friday then ill be moving back to where there are real people exist and friends arent hard to have....... oh and grant yeah i was like trying to say something to you yesterday moring but i forgetted wat it was...... im done bye laron Protected (details) - 8:43 AM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - edit it Thursday, March 11, 2004 i want to be a pornstar thats right you heard me a pornstar......... well another good day although half way through something got me down and then mad i knocked the shit out this boy alan i hate him really he makes me so sick but other than that my day was good and dolly was short but since i didnt have a ride i had to wait oh yeah lotsa fun....... i thank god for every waking minute but then the reason my faith and aspect of god isnt where it used to me is b/c i let the work of keeping the faith get to me so instead i said ill live for now and get back gradually cause i see so many good people like nichole and christin and i feel like wow i wish i could be like that i admire you guys so much and i think id probaly be still a virgin but you know people go through things for a reason....... i really want to be famous you know its my drive for life i love performing so i work hard to be a better actor but im not comfortable with giving some one like beekman critisism but then i thought my opinion would have been shot down by my acting peers only b/c we come from a different acting background.... sorry chris for the nipple thing ill never do it again you mite be mad but i did step up just because when you get mad you become an angry black man and i can tell really i can you remind me of my dad thats what makes it sick........ thank god no rehersal until monday yay a break but i really enjoy hangin with most of those people theyre so awesomr and talented except ones like luatner who are really just immature hes still talented but really those freshman nned to calm down i mean i thought grant was gonna die when he dropped to the floor i never did shit like that with my guy friends no wait i have but not all the time our minds were set on pussy how to get it treat it to keep it and i understand that some boys dont thiink about venturing down that path but its a good one to follow and i know that i play too but if he would have hit me to the point of a fall after i got up his ass would have been down the hallway with no legs i know here goes another racial comment but black people wouldnt just except an apology i mean out of my 18 years of life every black person i been around got the fuck up and would knock the shit out of you and it mite be a little tension between the two for a minute but thats how it was and since i was black minded i was ready for it and plus grant is too nice of a person i admire him for that but it just aint me....... speaking of i used to love to be mean to people but like i guess i grew out of it somewhat b/c i know sometimes i get back to that me....... even though you mite love me i love you guys later god bless laron Wednesday, March 10, 2004 yes omg hes here and he wont go away ....... well another successful day of dolly omg its alot of work...... but well skool was fine and dandy like yer mommas candy so not much there........ omg my directors in acting 2 need to get it together i have opinions but i didnt and wont say them b/c just like wat happened today thank god this will be over soon........ omg nichole everybody was talking about what happened with you and andrew today and i quote "i dont date people right now" golden but you know just the fact that your are so cute makes it even worse now if the girl was like "hit" then damn well it passes quick and like i feel bad cause i told him to do it cause i thought it was great but how black am i right now........ erin im soooo sorry i didnt mean to cut off your circulation please dont hate me i didnt know..... well hey guess wait ms rutz... oh your good keep going your almost there..... hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well later kids god bless laron Private - 6:28 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - edit it - email it Tuesday, March 09, 2004 thanx stasha i fell so special one day i am gonna be famous whooooooo!!!!!!!!1 well another long day and i do mean long call on dolly dammit well at least its over and hopefully tommorrow ill get to really dance i want to sooooo badly..... well boyd tried to get me again her bad karma is rackin up she needs to really calm the fuck down....... i cant stand the fact britt wasnt there cause really shes the only friend i really have in the cast that i get to be around all the other people make me feel uneasy and i dont like being alone....... today was good of course but i goota go to sleep later so i wont be up cause i gets tired in school....... well at least im handling business as far as skool goes so im not too worried about grades except for some little stuff so yay cause i cant not graduate..... chris and chelsea go ahead and get back together i just dont see you guys not together so there was some words said well you seem not to let that stop you but dont go by me its just how i feel and b/c chelsea you keep chris grounded some what ....... i cant stand the mothers guy friend he aint no fuckin body to come in here talkn bout nobodys family and then had the nerve to try and scare me i will BEAT YOUR FUCKIN ASS NIGGA YOU HEAR ME!!!!!!!!!!!! stupid mothafucka talkin shit that pisses me the fuck off........ stasha hes gonna be here for a month and i really dont like him he is but ugly and i mean its past that........... well thats all folks ill see you lovely people tommorrow...... god bless laron Private - 6:50 PM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - edit it - email it Monday, March 08, 2004 well the first day of dolly where we worked until 6 isover and let me tell you some of them was stankin none of the females but you know who but well they wasnt fresh i was so tired when i went to skool but after like 7/8 i was fine and today i learnd my line for our little thing in acting and it was kinda fun i had i pretty good day.... well also chelsea it was not me the whole time fucking with you just fyi you know but im excited although everybody is so fuckin cliquey it made my friend uncomfortable and i didnt apreciate it but uh hopefully these groups for dancers will help..... im bout to go and sleep and well get up and work on skool stuff so il cathc you groovy chicks and cats lter.... erin and clint made my day today thanx your the greatest... bye laron Private - 6:34 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - edit it - email it good morning new york .... oops i forgot im in hilliard hahahahahahahahaha~!!!!!!!!!!! well an early morning start and i had to struggle with my eyebrow ring its been 30 mins and it took forever to get the ball on shit!!!!...... im tired but not like that and my chest hurts too much smoking is bad for you i think id better stop un less i find my inhaler..... not much on the dream front dan its seems to be a clear cloud of nuthin..... its too early for that man to be over hear and on top of that the whore woke me up out of my sleep so the door was open but she had her fucking keys and the first thing out her mouth is a lie at 5:20 am wtf....... well ill see you beautiful people at skool un less you hit then you know to put on a paper bag hahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 j/p ...... cant help myself..... i cant wait for this afternoon although i mite have to hurt some of those people already which pissed me off since we used to be cool until now and well oh its two people very fake and self indulged i know i smart and i totally comprehend that since im new im not really gonna have real friends just ones to get by the year except for s-carter and dreaddi now they are my real friends since they arent fake and we always go kick it and just b/c no offense to everybody else but you guys are already grounded with set friends ands can get kinda clicky and i just seem to be there...... well now im done these random thoughts come from nowhere.... god bless later laron fell in love.....

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hey yeah so im in skool and im so high cuase well we gotta out of gym earlier me and jen went to smoke oh how wonderful....... i love life..... where the fuck is my water...... haahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha............................................ yeah its over for now ill be bakc later laron

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hey yeah a great morning and i just finished putting the touches on my costume so hoorray for me right i cant wait for this week im so excited its my first musical and yeah im excited but ive been here you know hahahahahaha!!!!!!!! well ive been having some weird dreams i wonder do they mean something and definately not for me here go some old post hope to enjoy!!! this is from earlier this week and last saturday Tuesday, February 17, 2004 yall today i broke i couldnt take so i cried in front of alot of people in my acting class like right in the middle of my monologue i broke and couldnt keep it to gether and paige and nastasha go suck a colon all my entries arent angry maybe sad but thats why i try to wait until the weekend to write and catch up its a diverse qualitythat you read me happy and sad and angry so i feel that yeah that one might be a little bad but hello are you here to woop that bitch ass no so therfore i take car4e of my wayt i dont wanna go to jail butanyway i love you guys so much you two are my favoritest people in the world and im glad to be related to the most beautiful girls in the world and if you say anything ill deny it like...... well shit anyway today was good beside the episode i had7/8 and im trying to do something with my costumes 4 charlie brown tonite cause there due and im getting married not right now but just be clear that i found what mite be the most most est beautiful thing of love and yeah..... soi really wanna thank ap kitchen for eing by me in my time of need i love people who love me and the way april made me feel so much beter was awesome i dont know what i would do without people like her. but oh yeah i feel helpless when it comes to keeny i wanna be there for him but im lost for words and i wnna tell him about me and just let him know that ill always be there for him and i cant get rid of him anyway so he wont be getting rid of me i try to keep his problems to a min to where its not that big of deal and i wish he knew that weve had some of the same feelings but i guess since i didnt with mine i cant help him i want to so bad and i tell him dont worry its ok like people cause lord nose i do but its how you act and when you act that can effect your outcome i know how it is to have a friend you like but you know they mite not wanna go there with you or you want to keep that friendship i think as people we all start to like your friends to much and it becomes overwhelming can anybody help me? i need to quit smoking really i know i was stressed and there a sense of relief but know i want to stop so there isnt anything to worry about like addiction i dont want iti think about just all the cast members for charli brown are cute and i got my song for hello dolly auditions .......well later tyme 4 me to pimp on outa here so you know drop me a line and shit you know ill holla laron 3:45 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Saturday, February 14, 2004 im so fuckin angry i was to the point i wanted to cry to the point my heart started to hurt really bad. my blood pressure wnt up and im only 17 what the fuck i just want to be appreciated for what i do i worked so fuckin hard and just about evry body wanted to put me down i mean body wants to crticize me i wanted to be creative but it seem i cant that i wish peopl would chill the fuck out and as soon as i say something to one person they want to act al shitty and the whole point was to get them to understand look this is not the time for that and then other people say dont let it get to me well how could i not well i didnt cry cuase i smoked my stress and problems away but then i realized thats not always the way out so i write and i wrote alt and now that im writing on here things dont seem as bad i want somebody to understand me to just get me laron and that im not the type for friends to dog me when they are so full of shit and cant even be real with themselves damn shit fuck well i fell so much better and when i go to rehersal on saturday im wont speak or commune with anybody but on a brighter note i guess thanks to nichole i have a song to sing for hello dolly auditions and i cant stand when people always put me on front street and run they goddamn mouth just shut the fuck up either we cool or we aint lovely life right but its old and its made me improve alot too i needed to cut back on stress and letting people get to me it feels good to learn from stuff later laron

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this isnt the whole cast but thats me at the bottom so who cares hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but there will be all of them there soon so later laron

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i was so angry a while ago over some stuff its been a while where i got a break from life wonder i wonder how the next couple of days will go heres a re cap of thisa past week heres today: i hate this i hate when people try to classify me chelsea you were in there and you know me and i know what i am and i dont need anyone to try and tell me. so i said i like both well what the fuck leave it at that i have a girlfriend which i love and thats it. why does it have to be oh hes gay nichole i still love her but get it right ornot at all and whitney was trying to reprove what i said i dont like guys like that i mean really so there easy on the eyse but theres nothing else there for me i dont see why that if brittany plans on being straight its cool but for me to already be straight if i detour a little oh your gay well lets not talk about what some of you do that ive never done with the same or will ever do. i just had to vent i felt like i was being trapped i dont have anything to prove b/c those people arent even my friends and the one friend that knows me too well is the one who kept the mess going in the first place i wish i didnt even exist...... for what why should you laron your not even worth the breathe you breethe...... i know thats why life is so complicated... here's thursday and friday: hey love you so much april i just had to vent you know how it is all this stress and after i been shot down by certain people i havent been my usual self. im having the best day and tommorrow is the last tech day for charlie brown im so excited i never intended to give up nor shall i i was just gonna ensure my chances but as long as your there april to keep me from going to jail ill be fine oh my god lonestar and laundry and bourbon was so good last night and chris was worried please i just know from the energy he gives off that it was gonna be good right now i dont know what it is but its good. what happens just happens...... later laron 8:51 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Thursday, February 19, 2004 hello dolly or should i say hello kaleigh and why not since it seems that well its not seem it is apparently a precast has come and on top of that i was completely understandable but to precast just about everybody is wrong to me and now my dreams are crushed all i wanted was a leading role and now im lucky if i can eat dog shit i wonder if ill ever get a good part in the uncolored society i think about that at all the auditions at darby this year now i wish to fucking god that school hurrys up and fly by my senior year my oh my senior yea is going up in flames and after next week i mite be burned to death stasha i need you to break somethings if you get my drift just come up here and make sure just about 5 people dont come to hello dolly auditions mon after next i dont want to be automatically pushed to the side just because im new my day was good though really it was until 15 sec before the school day ends this pummled me in my face i wish i wish i just wish well i think ill think of something because now i know theres no chance in hell ill get the part of barnaby my dream part now its just ....... later laron 3:23 PM - 4 eprops - 3 comments - email it today wow today wow right now wow im so out of it and yesterday was the first day i went without smoking i was so tired i still am but i feel like you know this like this thing you do what you end up reading oh righting oh hahaha this lets me know now i need some sleep and yeah oh why me i just dont feel good right now this morning my mom offered me coffee that she fixed for me i think she was trying to do me in the thought didnt cross my mind until now but i didnt take it i was running late and the bitch wasnt gonna take me to school so what am i to do she fixes coffee and no bacon im so damn hungry and i forgot to take my insulin this morning as well i hope i dont die today ill finish my thoughts later im bout to go barf] yeah alot for only 3 days but hey alot has happened well my show opens this week and im so siked how rad is that ill holla later laron

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